I'm talking about the whole spectrum......ranging from the wife's love and emotional attachment to the husband to her desire for sex...it all decreases after having children, right?
2007-11-06 08:33:25 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It shouldn't but in most cases it does. When the children are grown and gone it is just the 2 of you again. You have to keep that relationship strong even with the kids...
2007-11-06 08:37:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends....mine did for awhile. It was really frustrating. I'm getting it back now though and my daughter just turned 8 months. For a while I wasn't really feeling it physically or emotionally. Then as I healed even more the feeling came back (I tore really really bad, just about the worst you can tear). I'm still a little sensitive in certain positions. I'm also a little sensitive because I haven't quite got my body back. I'm working on that and its getting better too.
Energy is a factor, but I've been very blessed with a very very well behaved child, who likes her sleep and sleeps through the night.
I'm also single so I don't have to worry with all the marital duties such as dinner, cleaning, etc, etc., for someone else all the time. I can't let that stuff go if I want to and not have to worry about the hubby coming home and bitching about it.
Though I feel the stress of FT work and mother responsibilities, and sole provider of daily living for the both of us. I don't have to be super mom, super employee and super wife.
2007-11-06 08:56:32 · answer #2 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that most women want a close and loving relationship to end just because they have children but, when you are nursing a baby non stop and having a toddler crawling all over you and another preschooler throwing up there isn't a lot of room for thoughts of romance. Men seem to be able to get aroused and focus on the moment even though 3 kids are screaming outside the door. Women, when they become mothers lose that ability to transition and men just don't get that, maybe because they aren't doing it themselves.
2007-11-06 08:47:57 · answer #3 · answered by Mama Mia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is a lot of emotion that goes into the children after having them. They are very demanding emotionally and physically. It takes a lot of effort and patience to keep the romantic relationship with your spouse/significant other after children.
I know that after having two kids I'm ridiculously tired at the end of the day after dealing with after school activities, meals, and then playing with the kids. Sex drive goes down because I'm always tired. I do make an effort even though it's usually not enough for my husband.
And it's not that we stop WANTING a relationship, it's just that it's hard to maintain.
I hope this helps.
2007-11-06 08:40:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
it all depends. for many woman after having children they focus all there energies on the children and work,and then there is no energy left for the intimate stuff.
After children enter the picture its difficult to find the balance.
It all has to do with balancing everything out and getting extra help so that all the energy isnt burned up
2007-11-06 08:40:59 · answer #5 · answered by country_girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not here... actually it is the other way around... I try to show my husband every day in everything that I do that I want him and love him. I don't get it back though... It seems like to me, in my mind, that watching me have children, he now sees me as the mommy, not his wife... I just want to feel like a woman again! Not the mommy, or the nanny, or the maid... etc...
2007-11-06 08:39:50 · answer #6 · answered by Beatngu 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
for some women, yes, they forget that they need to pay attention to their husband, but not for all of us....if you feel like you are being left behind you need to speak up and let your wife know....if she's ignoring your needs, get the book by Dr. Laura, the Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands....read it and if it sounds applicable, give it to her and tell her that she has two choices, to read it and take your needs seriously, or to ignore you once again and chance ruining what you thought could be a wonderful marriage and life.
Some women are brought up to believe that a man's feelings and needs are simply not important, so you might have to rattle her cage a bit.
2007-11-06 08:39:52 · answer #7 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry about your dilemma as some lose that loving feeling for many reasons>How they look> They feel trapped>Lose interest in you for many reasons> No help from the spouse>Child is more than they can cope with>The list is long best have a heart to heart as it won't fix itself>
2007-11-06 08:42:38 · answer #8 · answered by 45 auto 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No for some women it increases. It normally decreases for a man.
2007-11-06 08:44:57 · answer #9 · answered by shay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For some women, yes. Depends on how much she works, takes care of the kids, how much help she gets from her husband, and how exhausted she is.
2007-11-06 08:37:12 · answer #10 · answered by mommacat 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋