this is a very personal question. I am married and have a overall ok happy life. Than why I still think about my ex when I am coming. No matter what i think before starting it but when I am coming....Its always him. What is wrong?
2007-11-06 08:12:48 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sounds like you need to go get some more from the ex. that way you can get him off your mind and maybe get each other off.. your minds,lol
2007-11-07 02:34:56 · answer #1 · answered by thumper j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you made an attachment in your mind between orgasm and emotions for a person. Perhaps part of you is not over your ex. Just because you are happy does not mean that you are not still attached to your ex in some way. Gotta break it for your own mental and emotional health.
2007-11-06 16:31:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe its because you have an overall Ok happy life...It sounds like to me you still have feelings for your ex..When you think of someone all the time thats usually the reason...Maybe you are not quite as happy as you think you are...
2007-11-06 16:22:43 · answer #3 · answered by slickcut 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot control your thoughts. So, stop feeling guilty. When you stop worrying about it, it will go away. You don't say you have feelings for him, so stop feeling so bad. You've done nothing intentionally wrong. Forgive yourself and realize that if it happens again, then just tell yourself that this will stop one day and in the meantime, I will just deal with it. Again, you are not cheating on your husband. For whatever subconscience reason your ex comes into mind, he is still and hopefully will always be your ex.
2007-11-06 16:22:57 · answer #4 · answered by Maureen S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's "gross"; but I do feel you should try going to therapy so you can face your issues. Sounds to me like you have unresolved issues concerning your ex...and that is not good for you or your husband.
I'm not saying you are the only one who this happens to; but if you really want to be happy with your current husband you need to cleanse your mind and heart...Let your ex go, and find closure.
Please go to therapy or go to church so you can find peace.
Guilt is a terrible burden, and it can actually make you not only miserable, but also physically ill. Take care and good luck.
2007-11-06 19:12:43 · answer #5 · answered by Nena S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you never have an orgasm without thinking of him, I'd say there are some unresolved issues. Go to a counselor and get to the bottom of it. You should be enjoying the man who is actually making love to you. Good luck.
2007-11-06 16:17:55 · answer #6 · answered by katydid 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Have you been married very long? You may still be adjusting to life without your ex, or maybe you were with him so long that it just seems natural to think about him during orgasms.
2007-11-06 16:17:45 · answer #7 · answered by Persephone 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you should discuss this with you partner, or if you cant bring yourself to do that, talk with a friend you can trust.
You can train your mind and body, so purposefully try to concentrate on what you love about him or what about him turns you on. its kind of like the saying regarding orgasms "fake it till you make it". Just keep thinking about your husband as much as you can until eventually you will find that it is no trouble at all.
2007-11-06 16:17:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't see why that would qualify as "gross". "Curious," maybe, or even "odd" or "mildly disturbing". "Gross"? No, I don't see how.
Why you're doing it is called conditioned response. I would assume you had strong orgasms with your ex, perhaps even your first orgasm with him. Therefore, orgasms became paired in your mind with him. I don't think it's anything to worry about as long as 1) you don't tell your husband this, and 2) you harbor no desire to get back with your ex.
2007-11-06 16:18:37 · answer #9 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sounds like your missing something in your marriage ....you stated that your "overall ok, happy" which says your really not.
evaulate yourself ..what is missing in your life....
or...you still love your ex deep inside and have not had closure in some way...either way, something is wrong here.
good luck
2007-11-06 16:19:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋