well, im 20 years young. Ive had the same partner since I was in 10th grade, and we love eachother very much. He's not officially my "boyfriend"..but for the past 6 years we have been together. Just recently alot of people around us have started having kids, including his bestfriend. He brought up having a baby together about a month ago and we tried, but were unsuccessful. Lately we have not been using any form of birth control.. and I really do think I want and am ready to have a baby.... Weve even picked out names. Weve agreed if we are successful we will get married sooner, and we both know it would work..he has been my bestfriend for so long. i just have some doubts, anybody else going through the same thing or have any advice??
2007-11-06 07:59:26 · 12 answers · asked by everything happens for a reason. 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
we are not seeing other people, and we have made a commitment to eachother. he lives on his own in a house, and i still am living home, saving up money. We both have good careers, I just finished my schooling, and have a steady job doing something ive wanted to do my whole life. he did not go to college but has a good job in construction, and is able to support himself comfortably. i guess i am nervous as of the effects of pregnancy, like the sickness and all that, that is why i am unsure...
2007-11-06 10:02:04 · update #1
why do you have to have a baby to get married? try getting married first and spend some time enjoying each other before you make such a huge decision. a baby really REALLY changes a relationship! it is a lot new things that you will have to work through together.
good luck
2007-11-06 08:13:15 · answer #1 · answered by potato 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What advice do you really want? Only positives thats all the ones people look for. But I'm sorry to tell you this, but why bring a child to the world when you guys don't even have your own place, are not married. If this guy would love you trully and he wouldn't doubt his love, the first step he would take would be asking you to marry him, to make sure you guys would be a family before bringing someone in this life. Thats a bit childish that you too are thinking as you will be getting a new puppy home. Thats takes more careness and responsibility then we just think we should have a baby. Fisrt take the steps to be someone in life, have things prepared for your child to come into this life. If you guys are really serious abt a child, please start talking abt a relationship or marriage. That tells you right there he's just a boyfriend, what is he offering you...leave you pregnant and go on with his on life. I'm thinking that you are a smart Girl and he is a smart guy, so make the right choices, which remember thats 18 years in your life from now. Best Luck to you!
2007-11-06 08:09:33 · answer #2 · answered by I.Beatriz . 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I want to make this perfectly clear, so listen carefully. When you were a little girl dreaming of the perfect scenerio for your life, did it include having a baby before you were 21, with someone that you are not together with, or at least on and off with, before you were married.
You do have a lot of time left to be a mom, and you would be missing experiences that you can never get back again. Turning 21 and going out partying. Being able to tell you children that you were madly in love with his/her dad, got married and started a family. Things of that nature. So don't sell yourself short, I know you feel ready, but there is a whole list of things that could make you better prepared. How about a good education so you can offer you baby a solid financial future?
2007-11-06 08:13:05 · answer #3 · answered by Drooooo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have doubts then you already answered your own question. You are not ready.
And how can you talk about getting married when you just pointed out that he's not "officially your boyfriend"?
If you were to bring a baby into the world, it would be for all the wrong reasons. Really think about what your doing and remember that your only 20 years old, you have plenty of time to have a child and you shouldn't get married just because you get pregnant. Be realistic.
Good luck.
2007-11-06 09:42:37 · answer #4 · answered by Kasia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you have some doubts is a huge red flag that you should wait. It is also very concerning that your partner isn't even "officially your boyfriend". Raising a child together is a lifelong committment. If you two cannot commit to being together, then you shouldn't commit to raising a child together. Make sure he is the one, get married, then think about kids.
2007-11-06 09:20:33 · answer #5 · answered by missbeans 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
♥ Honestly I'm not sure why you would want to have a baby with someone who isn't "offically your boyfriend". If ya'll are not even dating then why are ya'll even talking about marriage and children. I think talking about dating would be a good idea first. And as you said "I just have some doubts" which means you are not ready to have a child yet. Wait until there are NO doubts! Good Luck!
2007-11-06 08:20:58 · answer #6 · answered by NCIS ♥ Addict 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While I was reading your question I was thinking "yes I think she is ready........." until I read the fact that you have some doubts. Although there is nothing wrong with your situation, I don't feel it's a good idea until you have NO doubts. Having a baby is a HUGE responsability and you want to make sure you are ready. Good luck!
2007-11-06 08:31:15 · answer #7 · answered by megannjason305 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
umm i just answered your other question. I should of read this one first before answering your other one.
First of all you said that since all of your friends are having babys that you think you guys should....come on girl. I know your smarter then that.
You should have a baby when you are ready to. You dont have to be married but i think you and your partner should be more stable.
For example do you guys have a job?
do you guys live on your own?
Have health care?
car?
money saved up?
Babys cost a lot of money!!! diapers, clothes, etc
also you guys wont be able to go out anymore. sleep?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! you wont even know what sleep is anymore.
be prepared!!! dont just have it cuz ooo your friends are having one.
When they have babys and you dont they are going to look at you guys and wish they had time to relax and sleep.
But if you guys are ready to have a baby and are resposible then i wish you guys luck
baby is not a toy
2007-11-06 08:14:41 · answer #8 · answered by namibunnie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mom and mom-in-law told me that if I ever have doubts, don't do it. Wait a little longer, you have plenty of time to be a mom. Finish school, travel, enjoy time being young, try getting married first. I did and I'm now a mom and have no regrets. I'm pregnant with #2.
2007-11-06 08:04:28 · answer #9 · answered by Precious 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If I was you I would just wait you said you have douts. And douts means that youre not totally sure. Just enjoy your life and have fun I am 25 and dont have any kids yet and I dont regret it.
2007-11-06 08:11:23 · answer #10 · answered by CHEETOS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋