If you are friends with a couple who you hangout with alot and visit each other, your hubbies work together and all....and a few weeks ago you find out from anotehr source that your hubsand and this other woman or wife got together and kissed and made out once. What would you do? Would you tell the woman you knew? Would you be sure to stop hanging out with them? What would you say or do to your husband knowing that he didn't tell you all this time? Would you forgive him, make sure he is in trouble as well as the other woman? Would your attitude friendship towards the woman change now after knowing what she did with your hubby?
2007-11-06 07:32:14 · 22 answers · asked by richards_tr 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
first thing i would do was confront my husband, because he had a choice and he chose to do this. i would cut all ties with the couple, i would call her and tell her u knew and tell her to keep away from my husband. of course u would not see the woman in the same light as u once did, she would no longer be a friend and the relationship would be over with. i would not tell her husband. forgiveness would only come for the husband if he showed true remorse, and knew what he did was wrong and how much it hurt u. if he shows no remorse u couldn't stay in the marriage.
2007-11-06 07:42:38 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How reliable is your source is the first question? If reliable, I would confront the husband with the information. Seperately I would confront the wife about the situation as well. Do you want to still hang out with them? If so, give it time - but make it clear that this type of thing - which never should have happened in the first place - will never take place again.
2007-11-06 15:41:07 · answer #2 · answered by Brownie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not as easy as simply dumping them. It's your spouse, after all! The spouse needs a chance to come clean, prove he/she loves you, and be forgiven.
I'd confront my wife and ask her to tell me everything (if there is more to the affair) -- and explain that the entire truth needs to be told immediately or else she risks a divorce if more details come out later that she conveniently "forgets" about now. Even if it turns out to be as "simple" as a one night mistake, I'd very clearly explain that it really hurt me. I would also let the innocent wife also know about it so that she can confront the other husband and get the affair out in the open. When affairs are exposed, they lose their appeal.
The next step would be to go to marriage counseling to find out what is so wrong in our marriage that she would want to cheat.
Finally, as a condition for continuing our marriage, the other husband and my wife would not be allowed to see each other again. That is not an unreasonable request given the hurt they inflicted on their spouses and the trust they destroyed. Otherwise, it is not fair to the other spouses to have to relive the pain of their affair every time these two are reunited, even in public. Yes, it's sad that the friendships have to be lost, but it's also a consequence of their selfish actions.
2007-11-06 16:14:20 · answer #3 · answered by agrocks 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well I do not care if it was once or a thousand times, They would all be history and the first thing I would do is call her husband. He, like you has a right to know about his unfaithful, cheating ho wife.
Let me tell you something sweetie, DO NOT let your cheating ho husband or this so called friend of yours disrespect you. If you let this slide, they will not learn their lesson. You really need to ditch your hubby and your friend.
Adultery(in case you don't know, this is adultery) should not be tolerated on any level and is grounds for an immediate divorce(if you have proof). If you want proof, don't let them know that you know and you can set them up.
Anyway, goodluck with this and let us know what you decide.
2007-11-06 15:53:12 · answer #4 · answered by Christy M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would approach the other woman's husband and ask him what punishment he thought was fair, even if you don't screw around with him let your hubby and her wonder in my honest opinion they will never feel your pain unless they experience it for themselves, then after a couple weeks tell him nothing happened you know that's what he's going to tell you he might as well have to live with the doubt you're going to... Or say f**K it and throw him and his crap out and file for divorce in the long run you will be much happier.
2007-11-06 15:45:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends, was it before you and your hubby got together? If it was then who cares? He probably doesn't even think about it any way. And would you want your man to be the sort who kiss and tells? If it bothers you then talk to him about it. He may have forgotten even.
If it was after you were married, then tell the other husband. See how they like that!
2007-11-06 15:45:08 · answer #6 · answered by A derka der 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Invite the woman for a day of shopping. When you get home, tell your husband that she told you (who cares how it makes the woman feel if she finds out that you said she told you - she made out with your husband). I would say that she told you that they had a little fling and that she was sorry and broke down and cried -.... Tell him that you are very mad at him and want to talk about it. See what happens..
Just a suggestion - it could cause more harm than good.
2007-11-06 15:39:20 · answer #7 · answered by lilwoman 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The first thing I would do, is tell the person spreading rumors to stop, it's none of their business. Remember that other people quite often have agendas of their own.
If you are seriously concerned you should ask your husband....
If all this happened before you were married or a long time ago, you should do nothing....
2007-11-06 15:42:54 · answer #8 · answered by Sophie B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my attitude would surely change towards this woman, I mean you are friends, or you guys hang out together. That is wrong on both of their parts.
I think that is a decision that you have to make yourself, it is your life, marriage, friendship. Do you think marriage counseling would help?
I mean if she did it with your old man who else has she been with & what diseases does she have that she could pass on, did they use protection? There ar a lot of issues here that really need to be found out about & taken care of.
2007-11-06 15:39:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'd plan a dinner for four, have a few drinks, and then smack a big wet tongue kiss on her husband right in front of the both of them. See how they like it!
Just remember that just because he kissed someone else, it doesn't mean he doesn't love you! If alcohol was involved then there's your answer. We all do stupid things we regret when we're drunk. If they were sober, thats a different story so were they?
2007-11-06 16:09:17 · answer #10 · answered by rach 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋