Ok so right off the bat i have a girlfriend and she has had lots of troubles in her life like an ex bf that killed himself anorexia and emotional parental abuse, im 18 and shes 17 well when we first started dating she told me she was a very serious girl and said if i diddent see myself spending the rest of my life with her i shouldent date her well i liked her alot and we hit it off well but ever scince that night ive agreed to marry her out of pity and because i diddent want to hurt her feelings, so months go by she gets more serious and serious i met her parents and so fourth ya dda yadda and they think i really proposed to her trugh my own will, now shes away at rehab for anorexixfor 2 months and im really considering leaving her its so hard ive been lying thrugh my teeth this whole time all so she wouldent get sad, and when i mention no marriage she goes off gets depressed and claims i dont love her anymore on top of that she wants to convert me into a mormon im in so deep HELP!!!
2007-11-06 07:13:53 · 17 answers · asked by lorenzo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
oh man i dont know what im gonna do
2007-11-06 09:51:43 · update #1
heres a little more details
i really think shes trying to mold me into somthing im not
because in the begening she as into some other guy and yeah mystyriusly after the other guy stopped fooling around she claimed tha she "FELL MADLY IN LOVE" with me i still dont know why, its really hard because were engaged and my and her parents know her brother is gonna "cut" me if i hurt her. this is so terrible IM 18 i dont give a **** about marriage yet i wanna have fun play in my band hang out with my friends Listen to MY music and EAT whatever I want! i dont know why she wants to rush into marriage
2007-11-06 09:56:14 · update #2
This girl is trouble
Trouble trouble trouble.
You are not chained to her. She is trying to make her problems yours. Don't let her. Cut all ties and move on. You may love her...that doesn't, however, automatically mean that you are compatible and that you could live with her.
Get out of this relationship.
This has red flags all over the place. It is NOT going to work out well for you.
2007-11-07 02:52:44 · answer #1 · answered by Ender 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good grief, you are both entirely too young to even be thinking about marriage, first off. Second, she has to get control of her other issues before she tries being married- it is tough to keep a marriage strong without all that. You need to talk to her and be gentle but honest- about all the things you have said. You may have said all that stuff out of "pity", but it actually is going to do more damage than good. Don't ever lie about the way you feel about someone. You also cannot convert religions to satisfy someone else's needs. That is something that should come from your heart. You have really gotten yourself into a pickle- you need to come clean, cut ties completely and take what you have learned for the next time. Good luck.
2007-11-06 15:23:02 · answer #2 · answered by Jessica F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's in rehab then they should be addressing this issue with her. Break it off now while she's there so that she can get the help she needs with her counselors. Tell her you are sorry but you don't feel like you are strong enough right now to be in such a serious relationship anymore. You wish her the best and hope that she gets well both physically and mentally. Then severe all ties. She has some serious mental issues, and buddy, they have nothing to do with you. She's only using you as a crutch.
2007-11-06 15:42:31 · answer #3 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy, this is an awful lot for anyone to deal with.
First of all, you are not obligated to marry anyone at all. That is unless you live in the middle east.
Second, no one has to tell you that your life would be a living hell if you did marry her because of all her mental and physical issues. These issues don't get better with marriage, they get a whole lot WORSE! Because, now they have you "hooked".
You should tell her in a gentle way that you are not ready for mormonism, and you are not ready for marriage.
If the brother can't handle this, so what! Report him to the police the second he threatens you. You don't have to take abuse.
We don't have to do things just because other people are too needy, and try to make us responsible for them. It's called manipulation.
Stand your ground, and don't back down. Shot gun weddings are a thing of the past. You don't have to marry her.
2007-11-06 18:02:28 · answer #4 · answered by latebreakfast 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's 17 then she's still got a lot of growing up to do. It seems that even though she "feels" she is a secure relationship with you, she still has these problems, and therefore she has NO security, with you, with herself, with anything. Marrying her will intensify her insecurity and not allow her to grow as an individual.
You need to break the news to her and let her hit rock bottom. I know it sounds cruel but you'd be amazed at how strong people become when they emerge from that. She'll become a better person for it.
2007-11-06 15:34:58 · answer #5 · answered by Avelyn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK recruit, here your first chance to be a man and start showing some integrity. First, explain things to her parents and seek their advice on how best to drop the bombshell on their emotionally unstable daughter. Then break the news to her. Make a clean break...none of this let's be friends crap that will give her false hope.
Yes, it will be completely devastating to her. But you need to stop things now...your hole will only get deeper if you don't.
2007-11-06 15:31:21 · answer #6 · answered by Scorpio 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be a man, tell her that it's over. Be firm and tell her that you don't want to get married, that you are not willing to change your religion and that she will be better off with someone that will share the same values and expectations as her. Tell her that you are very young and that you have other plans for your life that doesn't include her and her drama.
Good luck
2007-11-06 15:28:34 · answer #7 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is a very serious girl because she has insecurities and needs to feel she belongs. You are far far too young to be dealing wiht this. She needs therapy - serious therapy or her life is going to be a vicious cycle of men that will take advantage of this situation. You are never in too deep. You control your own destiny - not a girlfriend.
2007-11-06 15:19:14 · answer #8 · answered by Brownie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you don't want to marry her than you don't love her as much to spend your life with her, right? Well you must take your time and decide b/c at the end one will end up getting hurt but will eventually get over it (in days, weeks, months, years) and you only live once. Choose wisely, my friend. And I hope everything works out for you.
2007-11-06 15:22:08 · answer #9 · answered by abreu2468 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need a wife with so much trouble, just ad to all of that, the demand for attention. Great families are formed by love, no pity.
2007-11-06 15:19:02 · answer #10 · answered by Mother of three 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋