whats stopping me from killing myself?

Question

i have no family other than my wife who i love to bit who is ill and on seroxat and has suicidal tendancies. she has no family other than me. we had our house reposessed 8 months ago and are still being chased for debts so we moved and i have changed our names to hide, just getting sorted and in good job and have now been told job is going no enough business, and i havent paid rent this month or council tak or a couple of other bills, total £1400, i carnt rais any as have no credit rating and have changed names anyway, and have no family to borrow off and nothing worth enough to sell. have planned to end it tomorrow but its hard when wife cuddeled up to me today telling me how much she loves me and how good things are, "only cos i hide it all from her to keep her happy" im not realy any good for her and carnt carry on like this, i even raided her bank account and stole 150 yesterday without her knowing so to pay a bill , she will find out tomorrow questions will start so it ends then.

today by a quirk of fate my wife wasnt up to going to work so was home with me all day so didnt get chance and wasnt left along to do anything. but still dont know what to do.

Answer 1

I feel really sorry for you my friend put if you end your life it will be no better for your wife the bills will still be there please go and see a solicitor to see about declaring yourself bankrupt which will stop people chasing you this means you will not be able to hold a bank account for 5 years or get credit please don't change your identity but think about what i suggest and be honest and don't run away as running away takes you beyond help in regards to banks are your parents alive if so asak them if you can have your wages paid in to there account but not let you have every penny but put some away for a rainy day good luck my friend my name is simon and i will be praying for you tonight i do know how you feel as i've been there and it started with self harming if you need a friend please please email me [e-mail] good luck my friend you not alone

Answer 2

I don't know how serious you are about this, but I'm going to take you seriously anyway. I hope that no one would lie about something like this.

DON'T GIVE UP

There's always a way to fix things, even when they seem as bad as this. Firstly, you have to be honest with your wife. You love each other, you need to be there for each other, you can't do this through lies. Secondly, GET HELP. It's there, support is available through a whole load of different organisations. Citizens Advice give free financial advice, and will help you file for bankruptcy if you need to, and they will also help you contact everyone you owe money to and arrange minimum repayments. These can be as little as £3 a go, so even of the worse comes to the worst and you lose your job you will be able to make payments whilst on benefits. You can even go to court for this to be lowered further.
More importantly, more importantly than anything else, you need to speak to a professional about how you are feeling. Please call the Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90. Its 24 hours and totally confidential.
There's ALWAYS a way to sort things out. Please get help. Don't do this.
x

Answer 3

No situation is worth taking your own life for. If you love your wife, why would you want to leave her in this mess when she clearly can't cope due to her illness and top of all that have to cope with the pain if losing you. Not only that but funerals don't come cheap!! You need to address your problems and be honest with your wife. I appreciate you don't want her to worry but like you said, she will find out anyway. You need to contact your landlord and Council and deal with these debts as a priority. They will probably accept small instalments to clear the arrears if you haven't got they money to clear them at once. You can get imprisoned for non payment of Council tax and evicted from your home if you leave your rent also - so please for yours and your wife's sake do this 1st thing tomorrow. If you are out of work claim benefits asap and housing benefit which will cover your rent, that way the debt won't get bigger and you can chip away at it each week with small payments. Get some advice from Citizens Advice Bureau and get yourself to the Job Centre. These problems can be resolved but you must deal with them straight away.

Answer 4

I think if you make the decision to end it all you will be leaving your wife completely alone which is the worse thing that can happen. I belive seroxat can give you suicidal tendancies so it would be good to see a doctor to get it changed.
If i were you I would contact the Samaritans to have someone to talk to and the citizens advice for debt advice. They both are extremely good, you can e mail samaritans if you prefer not to talk. Citizens advice are brilliant with debt problems. You will get through this in time, you need to be strong for your wife. Take care

Answer 5

Jesus Christ mate...pull yourself together!

You are looking at this as ONE massive problem and you need to break it down into smaller, more bit size chunks. You see it as all too much to cope with and are white cold with fear...I know 'cause I have been there myself.

Write down ALL of your problems. One each on separate bits of paper. Think of some possible solutions...anything will do, no matter how crazy, go through each one and note possible solutions onto the bottom of each. If you want some help with solutions, post the problem on here! Do it one at a time! You may get resolutions you had never even thought about.

Prioritise your problems and work on ONE problem a day. If you need to phone someone, phone them, if you need to write a letter, sit down and draft it out.

Within a week, you will have SEVEN problems being attacked...by YOU, you little Rottweiller.

Sort it - no-one else is gonna do it for you and don't you EVER sit there and say you love your missus to bits and then turn round and say you are thinking of ending it all. You look at her face pal and have a freaking straightener with yourself.

If you need some help, mail me. It's only a short e-mail away. Give me a number and I'll call you. If I can only help with ONE thing, I'll do it.

Be strong, Be brave, and above all, love your missus like she deserves and get your NUTS back.
I'll write a letter...I'll call someone...I'll do you a C.V...I'll call the council, or get the CAB to call you, or anything. Just ask away.

Answer 6

Please be honest with your your wife about how you are feeling and the money situtation. Hard times are 10 times harder of you are facing them alone and your bottling this up is obviously doing you no good. Your wife cannot help you if you do not communicate. She may be distressed at first but you can then face this together.

Nothing is worth killing yourself over. There is help available out there, you just have to seek it out - not easy if you are depressed, but there are a number of services who can help and advise you. Think about it rationally, what is the worst that will happen? If it comes to it you can declare yourself bankrupt and hopefully get yourself into a better scenario.

Please don't do anything silly. Problems are there to be solved and there is help out there. Get yourself to the CAB or call samaritans pronto. Good luck

www.debtadvisoryservice.co.uk
www.nacab.org.uk
www.samaritans.org

Answer 7

Nothing at all is stopping you, except for the fact that at some time or another, a lot of us face something similar. It is said that it is always darkest before the dawn, i.e. you hit rock bottom, consider suicide and then next morning is a new day. While you can still work, you can still earn money. Contact the citizens advice bureau re your problems, the samaritans re your contemplating suicide and the consumer credit counselling service re rescheduling your debt into affordable payments.

Good luck.

Answer 8

Dude.... your wife loves you....that's all you need...nothing else. Hard to keep the tears from my eyes right now wishing my wife was cuddled with me and telling me that she loves me. You obviously love her as well because you haven't quit yet. You've been trying but even though you've been knocked on your butt you have to get up and try again. I can't imagine what your wife would go through tomorrow if she got up and you weren't there. Your friends that you've made would be devasted as well. You can't do this my friend... your wife loves you...you're her life. I've been where you are my friend ... but I'm still here. You are important to us and we want to hear from you tomorrow. I'll be putting you on my fan list and I really would love to hear from you tomorrow. I'll be praying for you. I don't know where you are or what time it is there but I'll answer you as soon as I can tomorrow.

Answer 9

i've been on the brink many times, what kept me this side was knowing how hurt those left behind would be, sharing how you feel with your wife will bring you closer, and being honest about the debt situation, she will understand you acted out of desperation. ring national debtline, the worst that can happen is bankruptcy, which i've been through too, but nothing is worth ending your life for, believe me

Answer 10

i agree with Matt we have all been to the bottom of the pit and you cant see the daylight, first you HAVE to get all the bills out and talk through it all with your wife do not carry this alone, then write to all the people you owe cash to or go to citizen advice centre, you can pay a few pounds on the priority rent gas etc the rest will wait, citizens advice will contact them all and tell them you cant pay do this tomorrow be open and be honest with them tell them everything a weight will get lifted please do it,