I'm confussed and depressed, help!!?

Question

....in July my baby would have been one years old. Lately I've been thinking about him and I've lost like twenty pounds since July. I want another baby, not to replace my other child but I'm lonely. My baby's father isn't really in my life too much anymore. We don't see eye to eye, the only time we see eye to eye is when I talk about our baby. He think another baby will make our "relationship" stronger. I don't know what to do. I want another baby by him but i'm afraid the same thing will happen again. What should I do?

Answer 1

First, u need 2 speak w/ ur regular OB/GYN bout ur feelings n weight loss. They can help u w/ some medication temporarily. U then should seek a support group which ur doc should have available 4 u a list of some locally or someone u can talk 2 that can sympathize w/ u n ur situation.

Secondly, if ur not seeing eye to eye now, u should start thinking bout another route for ur life. I've been in ur shoes n honestly, moving on was the best thing now that ever happend for me. He wanted to try another baby but babies don't bring ppl 2 make good couples especially 4 children n their futures. God does things for a reason (I am NOT religious, in fact I don't even go to church) as I believe that it's a sign to change ur times that something bigger and better is out there waiting for you. May not seem like that right now, but it will later in the future when things are how they should be. If u don't act upon what has been handed to you, you could lose out on something so great, you could never imagine.

Good luck to you and best of health.

Answer 2

It may be time to move on with your life in a more positive direction. If you do not see eye-to-eye with this man then don't force a relationship in any way. Another baby can bring a wealth of happiness only when you, yourself, are already happy.
There are groups that you can join to alleviate loneliness. Happiness comes from you taking time and creating loving situations for yourself, first. Don't constantly put yourself out to please others. Keep in mind that our children are extremely connected to our own emotions and watch our every move whether it seems like it or not. Taking care of yourself better, in every way, will create a stronger and more positive relationship with the little one (should you decide to have another)- and everyone else. If you are hurting a little one will hurt, too.
Need ideas on self-care?
Take a long relaxing bath with organic lavender oil, candles and soft music. Drink Chamomile tea at bedtime. Regularly read a good book and make sure to cut in time to finish it (perhaps after the little one is asleep). Go for a long walk or just get out somehow. None of these things take much money, or, any at all. Join a gym if you haven't already - they are great self-esteem boosters as you watch your body change. Even take time to create a manifestation board with your goals and dreams on it that you take time to visit and visualize every evening, morning or both. Even an energy-worker in your area can help you alleviate stress.
Take time for you and let the past go. You are special and lovely in every way. Remember that.

Answer 3

I'm sorry for your loss. It sounds like it is still weighing heavily on your mind. Would you consider seeing your doctor to discuss how you are feeling? You might be able to get some help to support in moving forward with your life. It will also do you no good to try to have another child and be overly paranoid that something will happen.

It is probably not a good idea to bring a new baby into the mix while you are feeling this way or with a man that you do not have a strong relationship with. A baby will not make your relationship stronger if it's not good to begin with. Please take care of yourself first and really consider what you need.

Best of luck!

Answer 4

I speak from experience when I say it will get easier as time passes, you are still mourning and that is understandable. Most relationships are put out on a very thin line when something like this happens to a child. Parents tend to blame each other and eventually build a wall up between each other. Im not sure if another child at this time would strengthen your relationship or put more of a burden on you. I think you need to speak to someone and deal with the issues at hand and come to terms with the loss of your child before you contemplate having another child. Get better first and then think about adding someone else to your life.

Answer 5

You don't say what happened to your baby, but it is clear you are grieving and I am so sorry for your loss.

Now. This: He think another baby will make our "relationship" stronger.

No, no, a thousand times no!!! Babies do not make relationships stronger. First, you BUILD a strong relationship, then you dare put a baby into the mix. It is time for you to think about starting fresh. A new outlook. Later, a new man, and then a baby to share your love with.

Best of luck,
DN

Answer 6

My heart goes out to you. I cannot imagine the emotional strife of losing a child, however, relationships make babies. Babies do not make relationships.

I would hope that you would wait until you have someone who can be there for you physically as well as emotionally should you decide to have another child.

Answer 7

Sweetie,
You are hurting...grieving the lost of a child alone and with that wanting another with fearing the same thing might happen all over again. Give yourself some time and it might be helpful to talk with someone....specialist who can guide/help u alone.

Answer 8

no one ever replaces a baby that dies - this a terrible tragedy in anyones life - you don't have another baby to replace one - you have another baby to go on with your life - you make it sound like it was somebodys fault your baby died - not knowing all the facts on the death of your baby - i would say that you can't blame anyone for this - it has also happened to many others - its how you handle this tragedy - you must move on - you have too many years left in your life to bring happiness to yourself and others

Answer 9

i am so sorry sugar i feel very bad for you but my opinion is emotionally maybe you both are not ready and you may possiably feel quilty if you do have a child right now i would try conceling before i try to get pregnant again because you will stay very worried and under lots of stress if you do not get the fears of losing another child resovled before you have another............again i am very sorry but your body needs to be emotional stable for pregnancy as well as the nutriton part in check for approx......6mths before hand so you have enough nutrients to care for you and baby

Answer 10

That's so sad. I feel for you. Don't think things repeat themselves. I would have another baby, and it wouldn't be to replace the first. It would just give you a chance to be the mother you didn't get to be with the last baby. And babies either make or break a relationship, but if you are wanting a baby bad enough DEFINITELY go for it! GOOD LUCK!