Minorities: What is one thing you are tired of explaining to white ppl??

Question

Wait! Before you start calling me a racist, I am not a racist. I am engaged to a white man. I’m only using white ppl as the example, because they are already the majority, so we live white culture everyday. I know all about white people, because I’m forced to learn about them. They, on the other hand, *don’t* know much about my culture. Trust me, whenever I go to my fiancée’s parent’s house, I get bombarded with TONS of questions.

YES JK: When you see minority groups, promoting pride, it’s because we are just that- a “MINORITY.” We may express this in forms of having certain television shows, magazines, celebrations etc. The reason is because mainstream American favors a white audience. Look at all the television shows, movies, the magazines, the commercials, largest corporations, advertisement billboards, the modeling industry, every single image we see is that of white people.

So, in order to keep our cultural roots, we need some things of our own. We need to see stories that reflect who we are, from our perception for a change. Just imagine for one moment, what it would be like if the world were predominantly Asian (for example!). Everything you hear, see and read contained images, perspectives of Asian people. All the blockbuster hit movies had Asian actors, storylines that geared to an Asian Audience, All of the Oscar and Academy Award shows, it was predominantly Asian. The President was Asian, Capitol Hill all Asian, all the lawmakers were Asian. Flip on CNN, everyone is Asian. How would you feel??? We’re not saying we don’t respect or cannot identify with Caucasian culture, but we don’t want to loose our roots as well.

I’m tired of explaining the whole black pride thing and why do black people have their own television network, award shows etc… Many of them (not all!) can’t seem to understand why minorities have to stay true to their roots, so that our culture doesn’t get lost in a society that’s geared to and accomodates mostly white people. No matter how many times I explain it, they just can’t grasp that and get offended that we have our own things. When I was in high school, white kids used to give me a hard time about going to BSU meetings and they would wonder why they don’t have a WSU etc…Well uhhhh…. maybe it’s because other than the BSU, all the other clubs were “already” white.

**********BECKY!!!!!!!!**************
WE DON'T WANT "SPECIAL TREATMENT" WE WANT *****EQUAL TREATMENT*****

Answer 1

Most people I've come in contact with consider me to be white. But my cultural influences have been from both sides of the coin, so to speak: white family but raised among black people, dated black guys (and then married one), and had/have mostly black friends. So I've always been bombarded by questions from both whites and blacks.

One question that I'm sick of being asked is, "Why do you talk like that?" Both blacks and whites accuse me of "trying to be black." Blacks have accused me of stereotyping them- that I "talk like that" because I assume that's how all black people speak. And whites have accused me of being too ignorant and lazy to speak "properly". I'm tired of explaining that my speech is the result of my environment, that I was raised around people who speak Black Vernacular English a.k.a "Ebonics", that I'm not trying to be "cool" like the rappers, and so on...

Concerning the "n-word"- As strange as it may sound, that's something that was never an issue. I grew up around black people who said it all the time, therefore I've always said it. But, while I've been pestered about my use of Black Vernacular English, no one has ever questioned my use of the "n-word" (except my parents who absolutely DETEST that word). The black people in my area apparently don't have a problem with white people saying it. I was shocked when I first started participating on Y!A and saw so much debate regarding this word.

Anyway....

Another question that I'm sick of is, "Why do you like black guys?" Black women usually ask, "Why do you white girls like taking our men? Don't you have enough of your own?" And white men usually ask, "Why do you want to lower yourself like that? Don't you think you're worth more than a ____?" Of course, occasionally, some curious individual may simply ask, "So what is it about black men?"
What in hell is wrong with people that prevents them from grasping the basic fact that we're all attracted to different characteristics? I'm attracted to black men for the same reasons as why other women are attracted to black men and for the same reasons why women are attracted to white men and every other group of men... There's no secret code to crack.

I'm tired of being asked a bunch of stupid questions about black people. Often times, it feels like white people view me as some sort of expert on black people. "Why do black people have greasy hair?" "If black people think the justice system is so unfair then why do they keep getting arrested?" "If a black man hangs his pants down his azz and carries a pager, does that mean he's a drug dealer?" "If most of them aren't gang bangers then why is that all I see on BET?" "Why do black people like chicken so much?" "Why did black people fight for integration if they don't want to attend the same schools and churches as we do?" "Is it true that black men have bigger _____? Is that why you like them so much?" The list goes on (and gets even more ridiculous). I'm tired of it. They treat me like I'm their "little black book".

On the other hand, I get plenty of absurd questions from black people: "Why don't you have a great job and your own home? No reason why a white person in America can't have those things. You must be lazy and irresponsible." "Why do white people live in trailers?" "Why do white people say 'like omigosh'?" "Why are white women so easy?" "Why are white people racist?" "Why do all white people look the same?" "Why do white people have flat azzes?" "Why do white people fry themselves in the sun to look like us?" "Why do some white people have frizzy hair? Does that mean they're part black?" "Why do white people think everyone wants to be like them?" Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah....

I'm so damned sick of explaining to both "sides" that we are not all the same. Not all white people say, do, think, or feel the same. And not all black people say, do, think, or feel the same. I'm tired of explaining that my being white doesn't mean I've read some kind of book on white people and that having been culturally influenced by blacks doesn't mean I've read some kind of book on black people. I'm tired of explaining that I'm not a "man stealer", that I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth, that I don't own a "white ticket" to success, that I haven't cracked any codes on "whiteness" or "blackness", that I'm not inherently racist, that my legs won't spread like butter simply because a man is black, that I'm not trying to be anyone, and so on....

I wish people would just accept that we're all unique and move on.

Answer 2

I'm a white male transplant living in the south, and let me tell you, racism is alive and well on ALL sides of that coin. White, black, hispanic, asian, it's crazy down here. One good thing I've noticed though, is even if people in minority groups are quick to judge based on color, many of them will rethink their outlook once they see you aren't racist. It's almost like racism is expected and the norm, a sad state really.

That being said, I'm not racist. My wife is not white, my child is only partly white. Color means nothing to me, it's all about attitude.

Reading your question, I have to say you DO sound a little racist. Not in a negative, hating way, but labeling anything mainstream as "already white" and that's why minorities want their own TV/clubs/etc. is a racist comment. All things mainstream are meant for everyone regardless of color. And wanting race-specific entertainment and clubs is fine! Don't get me wrong. However, while many of you here wouldn't see a problem with white-specific entertainment, if such a thing were to arise (WET, white hsitory month, etc.), there would be a HUGE outcry from many in minority groups. You know that as well as I do.

I see no problem with being proud of your heritage at whatever level, as long as everyone else is allowed the same.

Answer 3

I have a feeling that maybe they are asking you questions because like you said "they don't know about our culture" -- so people ask. If they don't know, then what is wrong with asking? People also ask questions in order to keep a conversation going and to be friendly. The best way for a person to talk to another person is ABOUT the other person.... it's called "showing interest" in you (not as a black person -- just as a person). I've had a LOT of friends who were black but I can't think of any questions I asked them....nothing out of the ordinary I wouldn't ask another friend. I'm 49 and the way I was raised (DC area)....it was a sin as far as my parents are concerned to be racist or prejudice and so THAT's the way I was raised. That's ALSO the way I raised my boys.

Answer 4

Macaroni and cheese does not come from a box, nor is it considered a full meal or a casserole. IT IS A SIDE DISH!

Historically Black Colleges and Universities (HBCU) are not only for Black people. They are called Historically Black because they were created at a time when education was segregated. Other races and cultures are more than welcome to attend HBCUs.

Just because my skin is brown does not mean that I am Jamaican, Haitian or from some other island nation or country. I am the direct descendant of slaves (I've checked).

We don't all know how to dance. We don't all like to smoke weed. We don't all come from the projects.

Some of us do have doctorate degrees.

Many of us have extended vocabularies that do not include the use of slang terms.

Not all Hip Hop/Rap and R&B music is full of rage, sex, violence, and degradation of women.

Answer 5

I'm a minority; I'm female. The one thing I am tired of explaining to (a very few) white people is why I have black friends (as well as having German, Cuban, Hispanic, Russian, British, Ukranian, Muslim friends). People are curious to know what it is about me that makes black colleagues like me enough to invite me to their parties, cookouts, holiday dinners, etc. My answer: because I am genuine with them, and probably because I don't gossip about people. I think that is a refreshing quality to many people.

I have been made fun of by black and white colleagues for going to Tyler Perry plays, movies with a black friend. My black friend and I just laugh about it and keep doing what we are doing. I have sort of "adopted" her two children who are away at college, and even send care packages. I am rewarded with big hugs, and visits during college breaks.

I have the capacity to love all people, no matter what their religion or skin color. I think this is why people from different backgrounds and cultures are attracted to me.

Try to understand that your boyfriend's white parents are fascinated with your culture, and want you to like them. If they didn't, they wouldn't ask so many questions. Good luck.

Answer 6

being Native American everyone can just say what ever they want and theirs no one to say it's not P.C . I hear that we haven't had rain why don't you do a rain dance or hey chief! or where's your head dress or your ower Washington red skin hey Tonto. or hey if you don't get that right I'm going to scalp me an Indian. see people can say any thing to us, they can have the Cleveland Indian mascot out and say are you related. so before everyone starts crying about how bad they have it . just remember they can't say everything to your face. I just laugh at them, because they just showed me that they are small people who need to bring someone else down to feel good about them selves

Answer 7

U are doing exactly the same thing that u charge whites of doing ie stereotyping. All minorities do not have the same exp with whites nor are whites uniform in their attitudes.

Answer 8

I know what you mean. I have had to go through this with the parents of an ex who is white. I think they are just either really ignorant of black/African cultures or they just lack the experiance with blacks or havent been exposed to a lot of blacks to know much about them. The really smart whites get it and others dont, but for some their racist/prejudice views cloud their ability to be receptive to other cultures.

But I am not tired of explaining anything to anyone..... I have that natural teaching abillity and I cant blame them if they are curious. I guess there are some sensitive questions e.g about hair and the state of Africa.

Answer 9

I am more sick and tired of having to explain things as a Hindu rather than an Indian. Hinduism is the most misunderstood religion.

Answer 10

You live in white culture everyday? Haha are you serious? America is the melting pot, and frankly if we lived in white culture there wouldn't be Spanish translations on every product, at DMV, on every bloody automated phone line, etc. Would there be a black history month? What exactly do you know about white peoples culture? You just displayed how much of an idiot you are. White people can be across numerous countries and get this the culture of Germany isn't the same as the culture of Britain. Grouping all white people together is like grouping you with morons, true they have similarities but we all know you are stupider than a moron.

Edit: Exaggerate any? You see mostly white people because you yourself said they are the majority. And frankly you obviously haven't seen any advertisements lately. Mainstream america and advertising also caters to women but do you hear men complaining? How would I feel if everyt hing was Asian? Then frankly I must have landed in Asia. I have lived aborad in Japan, and learned the language, learned the customs. Get this some people are actually willing to respect the customs, language, etc of the nation the live or visit. Incapable on your part clearly.

And frankly relating all the other groups to being white groups besides your example is ludicrous. You can't pretend to think that all those groups are working towards the betterment of our race, like your club is. In fact a high school in my area, has various Asian Clubs, African American Clubs, etc a couple students wanted to start their own Caucasian club, and get this it was turned down by the school. Ponder that.

Answer 11

1. Our hair. MYOB!

2. Our differences in skin tone, hair texture, and facial features. Not all light complected, light eyed, curly haired, or sharp featured black folks are "mixed. Recognize!

3. Yes, plenty of us actually do use proper english grammar. And no, we are not "mixed", foreign, or from Nebraska.

4. Plenty of us went to college and have good jobs. So did our parents. And our grandparents. And our great-grandparents. It's not that "unusual". Deal with it.

5. Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton are not "Black Leaders". They are two annoying old guys who pimp for media exposure. Their views and opinions are not necessarily those represented by the rest of the black community.