Some ppl have commented to me that the 'giver' is the one who is guilty of giving to the ones who take advantage of ppl. To me there is a fine line between give and take. And somewhere in between it could lye with 'taking advantage'. I don't believe it's the giver who is the guilty party, but the one who 'takes'. Generosity from ppl is few and far between and some ppl take advantage of that kindness.
The ppl who say that the 'giver' is the guilty one has stated, "they can't take if you don't give". How can we go through life without giving from our hearts? In my opinion, it's not the kindhearted ppl who love to give who are the guilty ones. But those who take and take without gratitude who are guilty. What are your thoughts?
2007-11-06 05:06:34 · 8 answers · asked by lady_bella 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Thinking outside the box as usual, I don't think either party is guilty. I think what you have described here is a situation where you have two people trying to get their needs met in ways that just do not work. People who "give" too much are usually trying to get love, power, position, respect, or gratitude. People who "take" are usu. starving for love and care. They are being controlled by their neediness. So both are sadly mistaken, but neither is "guilty." Just lost and in need of healthy ways to meet their needs.
2007-11-06 05:45:42 · answer #1 · answered by Indi 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Some people think that the government is supposed to be the giver, while the public is the taker. Some people believe the government is the taker, while the public is the giver. Who is right? No one.
When it comes to life, there are givers and takers, they can be the same people. When you are on your first job interview you are a taker. Later in life when someone asks you for a job you are a giver. People would be satisfied with a chance, neither give or take. Let me prove that I can do the job. Not please give me a job. I know that statement is broad and really does not fit every situation. I believe that given the choice, the choice is the right way to go.
Being a giver does not mean being an enabler. Being a taker does not mean being a bum. There is a lot of grey in between the sides. Are you guilty? No, you are just a nice person trying to do the right thing.
2007-11-06 09:19:20 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you can say who is the guilty one on a general basis. take one case: a person gives to someone who takes advantage several times but then the taker realizes the the giver really cares and takes steps to give in return.
Then there is the case when the giver gives and is taken advantage of but the giver receives the satisfaction of feeling he or she is being used, a self- fulfilling prophesy, and the taker gets the satisfaction or receiving.
Or we can have a case where a giver is suffering from low self esteem and gives in order to buy "friends" and the taker is out to get all he or she can.
We can even have the case of where the giver is buying loyalty and servitude and giving to a taker - a boss giving a day off with pay to an employee to ease his own guilt about working the employee like a dog during the rest of the time.
I don't think we can as a general rule say that all givers are taken advantage or or that all takers are taking advantage even if in most cases that may be true, but have to look at each situation to see what is actually happening in that situation.
2007-11-06 09:51:01 · answer #3 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have had a friend like that, she would call me and ask me if i could get her some dinner on the way to her house but when i got there she would never have any money. she knew i wouldn't ask again after that night so she would do it all the time. when we go out and she would want a drink i would tell her i would get the first set then she could get the next round and when ever it came to her to pay she would never have money. i hurts to be the giver you want to make people happy but there are all ways people out there that will take you for all you have and not give a sh** about you. i think the people that take take and take and give nothing back are the BAD person. it hard to keep your heart to yourself you can share it and get it back broken so be ready for that life is hard .
2007-11-06 05:21:38 · answer #4 · answered by I love my DIRTBIKE! 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Some people that are the givers are just so kind hearted that they continue to help without seeing that one must help themselves first before you should help. Some takers cant seem to help it and just take advantate because that is how they were brought up in the first place.
2007-11-06 05:11:26 · answer #5 · answered by Renita M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the ones that use and abuse are indeed the guilty ones.
the ones that keep giving to those people are fools.
2007-11-06 05:12:42 · answer #6 · answered by Jenny G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
both
2007-11-06 05:11:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
both
2007-11-06 05:09:03 · answer #8 · answered by finnlecarb 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋