How to tell if you are a good nurse?

Question

You can wash a dirty butt and chew a toffee at the same time.(plenty more where that came from if requested)

your sense of humour gets more warped every year. You would like to meet the inventor of the nurse buzzer system in a dark alley onr night. You tell patients that your name is that of your co-workers, and say shout if you need help.When checking the level of a patients orientation, you are not sure of the day yourself, or if nightshift, the month.Eating crisps or chocolate out of a clean sick bowl is perfectly normal. You've seen more d*icks than any prostitute.

Minerva That made me laugh so much! I have a mental picture of it in my head Raziel I can't imagine what you do to get skin cells under your nails.

Don't forget that nurses are just human. We have to have a coping mechanism to get through what we have to do. This shows itself in a certain type of humour. If we were in pieces all the time, we couldnt do the job that we want to do.

Answer 1

During a boring night shift two of my colleagues dressed up as angels from the xmas dressing up box. Wings and halo's and long flowing white gowns, they looked wonderful. During the early hours of the night a patient had a cardiac arrest and the call was put out. The team raced onto the ward to be met by the sight of two angels doing cpr on a dead patient.

Answer 2

Shan, I KNOW you do a brilliant job, I just could not do what you do. I have seen your questions in the past and, correct me if I am wrong but, didn't HE go away to work at some point? I know you have recently had a holiday 'cos I asked if you enjoyed it. I would like to hear some more stories about your work i.e Care Home or Hospital? I can tell you are a good nurse.

Answer 3

If you can wash a butt and chew toffee it doesn't make you a good nurse. All that means is that you're used to it. In my profession i end up with loads of dead skin under my nails and it knocks me sick. The difference is, i KNOW im good.
Nothing wrong with a big head once in a while. Its good for the ego and good for the buisness.

Answer 4

You can look at hook worms going up a childs leg and be fascinated by it.

You find it interesting to see a diamond ring in the childs digestive system and think, wow, that must be 4 carats!

You find it interesting that a child will not swallow a pill, yet will eat quarters

You can still drink Mountain Dew after looking at urine specimens all day.

You don't get grossed out when getting puked on, heck, it is part of the day!

You can eat cake with a tongue dispenser.

You use urine sample jars to carry food in your lunch

Answer 5

When you learn that patients need respect, privacy, dignity, compassion and sleep.
During a hospital stay a nurse can either be a dream or your worst nightmare.

Answer 6

You can get the top of an enema tube with your teeth whilst putting your latex gloves on.

You can dispense medicines accurately whilst fending off dozens of confused elderly people who have gathered around your trolley all with different requests for help.

You can smile sweetly whilst somebody pees on your shoe whilst cleaning them up.

You are happy to answer the same question over and over again.

You have over 50 imaginative ways of getting somebody's medication into them.

Answer 7

I have been in the hospital several times and have been blessed with pleasant caring nurses. Keep up the good work and jokes!

Answer 8

You can also write the amount of urine in the catheter bag, feed a patient, change sheets, and help an Alzheimer's patient back to their ward simultaneously.

Answer 9

I've always had a special place in my heart for nurses ever since I married one.

Answer 10

Shan bet you are a brilliant nurse