He's never met her, yet he answers ?'s and believes this to be a secret admirer. It's his wife and he answers questions personally about his wife to this "online stranger". He has a big professional job w/city government and I ? his intelligence to openly continue. He sends his phone & room # when he's out of town for her to call/visit.
I refuse to talk about this dead deceptive evil deed, nor want anything to do with her (my friend/ex/friend) because of this.
Who do you think is the most evil/twisted--the wife setting up the husband or the husband that is very involved w/writing and answereing/sharing anything the "admirer (who happens to be his wife,unbeknown).He has a military career and I cannot understand how he can be so easy to pull into this arrangement. I think the husband will divorce her when he learns the truth. I think she is wicked/mental/missing major parts in her brain to start the making of divorce-just to see if he'd cheat,yet he is online.No kids & in their 40's.
2007-11-06 02:06:20 · 21 answers · asked by EvenSteven 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am not involved with this deception,and I refuse to talk about it to her-they are my friends!
I ignore her emails & phone calls.Her insecurity is her own problem-husband appears to enjoy "strangers" emailing him.Just want to hear opinions about this.
2007-11-06 02:26:31 · update #1
It sounds like they deserve each other. A cheater and a deceiver... sounds like the perfect match.
2007-11-06 02:43:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm a bit confused as to why you're so upset with "your friend" maybe the whole story's not being revealed in your question, but maybe there's a reason she feels the need to do this. On the flip side, regardless of her deception, he has no business in anyway, shape, form or fashion to be chatting on line with another woman in the manner in which he is and he's just seconds away from following through on his infidelity.
You say she set him up, but if he wasn't already online looking to talk or meet someone, how could she set him up?
Think about it!
Him being a big military man and all that, means nothing (he's a husband first) and if he just wanted to innocently chat with someone online, then it should have been made clear to whomever he chat with, that he's a married man and is not looking to become involved.
She just interveined to keep her husband from having an affair with another woman and I'm not sure I can say that I wouldn't have done the same thing.
Her mistake is letting this go on for so long, she needs to end it and confront him before it really spirals out of control or end it and sit back and watch what he does. If it were me, I'd be asking him questions such as does he love his wife and is he's planning on leaving her. How can he get mad for getting caught?? Although, men do flip things around to take the blame off of their actions. They're both being deceptive, but him by far more than she is.
2007-11-06 02:37:00 · answer #2 · answered by kskate2jbs 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When you think you're being cheated on, people will go to some lengths to find out. And I understand your view of this being a wrong way to go about finding out, (and I agree)but it sounds like your friend is going to need a friend pretty soon. You don't have to be involved, staying away as to not cause anymore conflict is the right thing to do, but nobody approves of everything their friends do...she needs some guidance, not neglect.
Honestly, it sounds like your friend was trying to see if her husband is a cheater...and well, it seems as if she found her answer by him inviting this "mystery woman" to his room. Why is she still doing it then? Maybe she can't admit to herself what type of man her husband really is. Next time she gets his room number, she should go surprise him. And let him squirm thinking the other woman would be there any minute, then break it to him who she is. Yeah, it will definitely break up the marriage, but it's already broken.
You can be there to help your friend deal with the loss, without agreeing with her actions.
2007-11-06 03:01:27 · answer #3 · answered by LadyMagick 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a divorce wouldn't be such a bad thing in this case. If there is no trust in the relationship (which, my goodness, if either of them trusts the other, they need their heads examined), then it's probably a good thing she's doing this. Get it all out in the open, start moving in the right direction (divorce), that way they can both find someone else who IS trustworthy (or keep finding messed up relationships...whatever works). I'm sorry you feel that this woman is no longer worthy of your friendship. If she gets what she needs out of this, I have to say, it's her business and no one else's. I'm thinking it's your loss. But, again, maybe there's no trust in YOUR relationship with her, and this needed to happen to show you it was time to move on.
2007-11-06 02:14:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are doing the right thing by staying totally out of this.
Either one would & could blame you for listening or encouraging her. I would be afraid he'd divorce me for playing this game, yet he plays it well & likely done it before.
If this has become her main object to prove a point, the only thing left to do is sit back & let her & her husband face this brick wall when busted.
It is her own making to see how far he'd go & he is taking it to the sky. If this has become her obsession & sounds like it has, then she should fight this battle on her own.I personally believe they need intense marriage counseling to save the marriage,both willing to do so.
2007-11-06 02:47:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont know that I would go as far as to say that she has brain parts missing because I have been in the same place as her. I did this to my fience and it only caused heartache. If she thinks that he is going to cheet or could then that is possibly why she is doing this. I think it is wrong yes, and has I known what would happen when I did it I wouldnt of done so. But if he is responding then he is in the wrong as well!
especially if he is giving a room # so that the so called "online stranger" can meet up with him.
2007-11-06 02:13:05 · answer #6 · answered by gennsss 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think she is SMART for doing what she is doing..but i"m not sure why she continues to do it. Maybe if she thinks he is talking to the fake person, than he's not cheating cuz its her, and the fake person will take whatever this urge of his is to talk to another woman and get over it fairly soon. I think its great the woman went that far to find out what he's up to...and the husband is just a stupid male *** for falling into such a stupid trap.
2007-11-06 02:12:13 · answer #7 · answered by tw9165 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No matter how she went about to find out if he was cheating, the thing is she did find out, and she must have had reasons to be suspicious to begin with. You sound highly judgemental and opinionated and also a busy body about other peoples business. You did her a favor by not responding to her emails or phone calls, who needs a friend like you?
2007-11-06 02:58:39 · answer #8 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why would you stop being her friend because of this. This is her relationship not yours. It's really none of your business anyway so why stop being someones friend because she is having problems in her relationship. You should be there for her, tell her that you think what she is doing is wrong but don't just cut her off. Friends are supposed to stick by one another, her relationship is obviously not headed in a good direction so just be a friend and do not judge. You don't know what happens behind closed doors.
2007-11-06 02:20:20 · answer #9 · answered by Amber B 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
They both are playing a dangerous game...and with enough rope they will hang themselves....Just stay out of it.....people who play these kind of games will destruct in due time....
Good to know that you aren't involved and are ignoring this so called friend.....They both are doing wrong by each other....In my opinion...neither is justified in doing what they are doing....
2007-11-06 02:14:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋