What do you think my son has?

Question

I already have an appointment but I need to know something before or get an idea. My son is 17 pretty much a good kid likes to be alone but there are certain things that are concerning me:
has no emotional feelings.We just lost our cat yesterday that weve had for yrs and all he could say is That sucks Hes always been like that. His father died when he was 9 he said he's better off. Hes verbally abusive to the younger kids and I catch him yelling or smacking the 6yr old in the head when I have told him not to!
Doesn't seem to care about anything.Today we are meeting with a social worker to determine if our family needs any help.People came to my house uninvited yesterday and my house is a wreck im alone with a clingy toddler I asked him to please stay home from school just for today to help me out with the baby(he's never been absent, yet fails all his classes)and he said he wanted to go to school. I begged him and he said no.I told him we might be separated,no emotion.What is it?

He has good hygiene, always likes to look nice, is not a thug, pretty much respectful to us, lies like you wouldn't believe, finally has a couple of friends but never have I seen him with anyone.
I can't believe he had no emotion when I mentioned the risk of the family being separated (long story) He wanted to go to school. I told him I might not be here when he got back and he said OK. I said grandma is coming to stay with you while I'm gone, he said OK. I told him I have nobody to help me right now and it's a very important day, guess what he said OK
I just let him go. What's wrong with my baby? He doesn't care about anything and sometimes he blurts out the weirdest things, like he's 12. I've looked on the net and I can't figure it out

Penny, I've tried everything. All he can say is that he just doesn't think straight or he's slow in "getting it" Thanks though, I'll keep trying

Grand Inquisitor: I don't understand your answer. I'm talking about my 17 yr old's behavior, I do protect my 6 yr old, he is disciplined when he is verbally abusive or anyway. If I didn't care I wouldn't be here asking what you think. He's my first born, the one the others are supposed to look up to. I want him to succeed. I've never hit them, I've sold his ps2 and his xbox to see if that will help with any emotion. He didn't care, loved his games but didn't care that I sold them. It's very disturbing the way you answer. That's why I only come here when there are no other answers

Mitch and the other mtch, yes we have an appointment next week. Eventually we'll get to the bottom of this but I would love to get ideas on how I can help in the meantime since he's going to have confidential therapy

RLW: Thank you!!!! Soon after his father's death I lost them to the system. I'm ok now but they are making sure we're ok. That can be it! Thank you SO much! God bless you

Ironic: Because I CAN, and he's watching 1 child and the school knows why he's staying home. Don't call my son a truant. Nice that you care about 1 day of school when I'm really needing to help him mentally and emotionally.

I can't stand dumb b*tches like you. If you have nothing to say to help, shut F up

Peaches: I am with him all the time, he comes with me grocery shopping, to the mall, to the arcade, I do take time out for him, he's firstborn, my baby. The other children also get their time but my son is never ignored, he's spoiled rotten as a matter of fact.

And I'm all over the school issue. He goes to school everyday, he attends all his classes, the principal has shown me his attendance record, perfect attendance, never late, never absent, never missed a class. I'm working on the school issue but without knowing how I can help him, I don't know what else I can do about his school work (believe me, I've tried tutoring, sitting with him, the teachers email me a weekly syllabus (sp?)

Melissa thank you so much! Yeah that toddler, he'll be 2 on the 10th. The other ones are 12 and 6, the 12 yr old being the only girl and that's a whole other issue. I just want my baby, he's a good kid, but he's so loopy, and I hate to say it this way but "duh" he stares at you like a robot. I don't understand. Love your advice, thank you

Oh, and I remarried but I'm heartbroken from something that I found out a couple of weeks ago. I have to take one thing at a time and my priority are my children, I'll deal with the cheating dog later

Haunted: Yes of course, but mostly anger or extreme happiness when he gets money or gets something he wants, in between that, nothing. Here are his eyes. What do you think?

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y25/Brenda2006/IMG_1439.jpg

Big Rich: He never leaves the house, ever, just to school and back, never late, never anything at all. I know they can sneak those suckers in the house though. I'll check that out too. Thank you

Answer 1

Sounds like RAD - reactive attachment disorder. With so many losses in his life at an early age he has to "shut down" emotionally to deal with crisis and problems. It is a protective mechanism. Lots of kids in foster care have this disorder. It is something that can be worked through but only with lots of counseling, lots of love and patience. It sounds like you have your hands full. God Bless!

Answer 2

I'm going out on a limb here because I haven't been around him enough to really formulate an educated guess. My first suspicion would be drugs of some sort. That is a big problem, but it's actually better than the alternative that he may have sociopathic tendencies. The drugs can be stopped (although there are underlying reasons for using them that need to be addressed). The other could take years of therapy and still have no results.

I would lean toward the drug theory, though, because an actual sociopath can put on a good face and would probably do better in school. The drug user just flat out doesn't care.

Either way, the boy needs some professional help, it seems.

Answer 3

The emotion problems you are describing in your son is called "blunted affect". There are a plethora of psychological disorders of which this is a symptom (asperger's, oppositional defiant disorder, early onset schizophrenia, and schizoid personality disorder, just to name a few). These are possible, but not likely.

Many parents have to deal with a maturing adolescent - one who has frequent mood swings, delinquent behavior, and a superiority complex, especially toward parents and authority figures. However, this is still fairly common activity for adolescents, so maybe you need to get some social support for yourself so that you can live and cope with your son's actions while waiting out these rough times until he matures more.

Seeing a licensed professional about your son could be very helpful for both of you, that is, if your son would even be willing to go and if the counselor is good. Just describe all of the symptoms as you've already done here, and you could suggest a personality disorder, but the counselor should be able to draw conclusions on their own.

Answer 4

It could be anything. He sounds depressed. But he also fits the diagnosis of a sociopath. I think its a good Idea to get family counceling and for him to see a psyciatrist independently. And for that clingy toddler (I sympathize, I have one too.) Get a super yard or playpen, and put them in there while you pick up. They may scream there heads off (mine does) but things have to get done, once I realized this I started getting my housework done and I felt so much better and confident. Your oldest son sounds like he has some serious things going on. I feel so bad for you, but if you see him smack his younger siblings, you definatley need some intervention. Do you have a brother or a man that can step in and help be the authoritarian? I really hope all turns out well for you, I send you a hug and an ear to unburden yourself with, just send an email if you would like to chat.

Answer 5

He's absolutely NEVER showed any emotion whatsoever? Can you post a photo of his eyes? Sounds like a sociopath to me.

Research some more sites as well, please.

His eyes show a deep melancholy, which you can't really blame with all he has been through. I've just seen people who show NO emotion. I mean, even when they smile their eyes never light up, if you know what I mean. Just a very cold gaze...nothing is there. I wish you nothing but the best!! I hope things work out for you guys, and your son gets the help he needs.

Answer 6

Do people not comprehend that Christ is termed and refers to Himself as "the Son of guy" 40 3 circumstances interior the KJV New testomony. for sure there is not a difficulty between the words.

Answer 7

You have made the right first steps. Do not miss your doctor's appointment. Keep seeing the family social worker.
Do not expect a 'quick cure' to all the problems.
Do not give up.
Tell your children you love them.
Do not give up.

Answer 8

It sounds like he's holding his emotions in and you seem to preoccupied with the other children to take time out for him. If he's going to school everyday but yet failing why haven't you checked into the matter to see why he's failing? He's probably hanging out at someone's house.

Answer 9

have him see a therapist, or at least the school counselor (free), he obviously has some issues he has trouble confronting. A therapist will be able to get see things that you probably can't see just by the way he acts, and knowing his situation at home.

Answer 10

why are you asking your 17 year old to truant school to stay home and look after YOUR children? Its not his responsibility.

It sounds like he is maybe going through depression - maybe all linking back to his dad dying?

He needs to see someone (councilor, doctor?) on his own - without you - and be able to speak freely and in confidence to someone... then start with family counciling...

Edit: I didnt call your child a truant. I said you were asking him to truant. Also, I am giving you a suggestion to help your child with issues - as I suggested he should speak in confidence on his own to a doctor or whoever. You dont know me - Don't call me dumb.