My 2 month old cries when daddy holds her!???

Question

It's very frustrating...I find that a lot of tmes I (TRY TO) leave my 2 month old at home with daddy for some much needed ME TIME she fusses and sometimes cries non stop until I come back, or until she falls asleep in his arms from crying so hard... I feel so bad because he feels that she hates him & he gets upset. He works almost 12 hour days; 6 days a week, so maybe it has something to do with that...I dont want to leave her because I feel bad, but I am a stay at home mama with a 3 year old as well, so I think I deserve to go to the gym 3 hours a week! HELP! What do you suggest I do?

Answer 1

She misses your scent and your voice. It's not that she doesn't want to be with him, it's more like she doesn't quite know him yet. You are her security blanket so maybe try (this is going to sound weird but) having your husband wear one of your t-shirts when he's home alone with her. I mean you take it off before you leave and he puts it on. This might help ease the transition.

Something to keep in mind is that she probably fell asleep crying in your arms several times until she got comfy with you too. Good luck with this because you DO deserve some you time.

Answer 2

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RE:
My 2 month old cries when daddy holds her!???
It's very frustrating...I find that a lot of tmes I (TRY TO) leave my 2 month old at home with daddy for some much needed ME TIME she fusses and sometimes cries non stop until I come back, or until she falls asleep in his arms from crying so hard... I feel so bad because he feels that she hates...

Answer 3

Same thing here! Don't worry, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I am a mother of three (5,3, and 4mo.). They all did that. It is really hard to get me time when you know that baby is screaming in it's daddy's arms. My youngest is four months old and just stopped this. Don't worry, the baby will soon realize that daddy is a safe place to be too. It just takes time. I am a SAHM too and really need me time. Like I said, I just started getting it. Let daddy hold the baby while you are there. Let him find ways to hold her, change her and feed her. It is something they (dad and bab) need tyo work out. The best way is with you in the other room, that way if it gets too bad, you can intervene if need be.

Answer 4

He may be tense holding her. Babies like comfort. My SIL was very nervous holding my baby and my baby would cry every time she held her. Yet her twin sister was very comfortable with babies and my baby never cried.

He needs to hold her more often. 12 hours a day isn't 24 so he's home for a good portion of the day when he's not asleep. Have him be the entertainer. My baby was really upset this last sunday and I wasn't holding her. Her daddy was so I just let him deal with it.

You can't save your husband every time your baby cries. That will teach her she can't trust her daddy. He needs to hold her and take care of her. If you're nursing you can feed her then hand her off. If your not then let him do some of the feedings as much as he's home and awake.

Answer 5

You need to let the baby cry when in dads arms while knowing you are there. It sounds like the baby has learned that if she crys long enough etc....she will get her way. I don't say that to be mean, but I bet that is what happens when you both are home. She is used to you, not him, because you have always been there 24/7 since birth. She needs to learn that daddy can comfort her just as well, outside of brestfeeding of course. I feel bad for him, and YOU are the only one that will be able to convince him to not take it personal and that she does love him. YOU will have to let go a little and HE will have to be patient. Leave her with dad as much as possible even when you are home, but just re-assure her that she is safe if daddys arms.

Answer 6

My son did the same thing at that age. My husband was very offended like he did something wrong. But, the truth is babies just prefer their moms and being at home, like me, you probably do 99.9% of the caretaking. It is just a phase, she will grow out of it. Around 4 months my son started recognizing daddy and now everytime he sees him, he smiles and laughs. I am just the maintenance lady! Although he still prefers me when he is really upset. It will pass but I know what you mean about some me time! I have been trying to get to the gym myself with no success! (My son is 5 months) The only time I can go is after 8 p.m. and I am dead tired by then!

Answer 7

Try to have your husband relax around her a little more, if he is nervous and upset she will be also be upset. mens hands are a bigger, stronger and sometimes rougher than moms so a much gentler touch might help even wearing some soft gloves may help. Babies can get over stimulated very easy. Also it could be his colgne, deoderant, or even work smell. Babies are very sensitive to that,and it just might be overwhelming her.but remember she has been in you for 9 months ,she knows your voice, touch ,your smell, just give it sometime, she will recognize dads own touch, smell and voice soon and before too long she will be daddys little girl and you'll be thinking WHAT ABOUT ME!? Good luck

Answer 8

First off, you need to relax about leaving the baby with your husband. Babies can sense fear. Try leaving your nightgown or tshirt you've worn lightly once close to the baby; maybe in her crib or on your husband's shoulder when he's holding her; simply having your scent around is reassuring to babies. And lastly, give it time. Maybe your hubby and the baby just need a little time to get adjusted to each other. No matter what you do, always try to make your gym appoinment; it'll be good for everyone. You'll have less stress and you'll be able to cope with everyday challenges better.

Answer 9

I know I'll probably get a few thumbsdown for this but--
Any chance "daddy" says she cries not stop while you're gone to try to guilt you out of going to the gym? Also how often does "daddy" shave? he may have sharp stubble on his face. Other than that he needs to help more with her when your both home so she can get used to him. Might also try having him use your hand lotion so she will still have your smell around her while you are gone.

Answer 10

I have 6 kids. Each was different in the way they reacted to my wife, other and myself. One would cry when my wife held her, another when I took my turn. Some cried when they were by either of us. You might try having Dad put the baby on a the couch while feeding her, while talking or singing in low tones. With time and love all things change.