Am i lazy?

Question

My husband called me lazy today because i'd rather stay home and watch our soon then go to work. I am an abled bodied professional with a very good job (medical field0. this is also my first child, his third and i just think that I should be responsible for my son not people that i don't know at a day care. what do you think/

Answer 1

Raising a child is a job; you are not lazy

Answer 2

I don't think you are lazy at all. This is something the two of you should have discussed before you were married, but certainly before you decided to have a child. As a teacher, I believe that children do best if they can have a parent at home with them for the first 3 to 5 years. After that, you can feel free to go back to work with confidence. This does not mean that children in Daycare can't be well-adjusted and grow up just fine. But, it's a fact that kids in daycare DO get more illnesses than children at home during the "tender years." If your husband wants your child to be healthy, and you enjoy being the caregiver, then I don't understand why hubby is complaining so much. This is HIS child, too, and he should want the best for his son. Perhaps, if you need the money, and you have a job in the medical field, you can work part-time nights or weekends when Hubby can babysit and bond with his son. That might be a wonderful option. Think about it.

Answer 3

He probably feels some sort of stress, either from money or because hes going off to work and youre not. It's silly the way men think some times because its so hard to take care of a child..you have to constantly watch and care for him every second of the day. I totally understand that you dont sit around and do nothing, taking care of a child is stressful too, because you give up so much of yourself in the process.
I think you should sit down and talk with him about it and consider part time, like two days a week just to shut him up. Besides it will give you more time for You. Although i completely understand your concerns, so much crazy people in the world caring for other peoples kids. Do your homework about that person and make your husband help in the process.
Im sorry about your situation, im stuck there too, even though i havent had a child yet i get the feeling it will got here too. I wish men understood our position and helped out.
and for the record, youre not lazy, youre a great woman and your child will thank you some day.
My mom stayed home with us and i liked having her there for us all the time. Its moms like you that make the world better.

Answer 4

Nope you are not lazy at all.Infact you a diligent, loving n caring mother who takes good care of her baby, besides u r a medical professional ofcourse hardworking then. Tell your husband to stay at home taking care of the new born baby and u go to work for earning then he will understand what is to be a nurturing mother,caring and looking after the baby .
If theres financial crisis problem, so ur husband hold grudges against you then its another thing, you two must have understanding and do accordingly :)

Answer 5

I agree with you. Im a stay at home mum and its the hardest profession in the world and one that lasts a lifetime. Teaching and nurturing a little person to grow up and become a responsible member of the human race is the best job in the world and if ur husband dosent like it then tough. You are not lazy. He is small minded.
well done for putting ur child/children first.

Answer 6

This is a normal argument between new parent's.

Could it be that he thinks your wages would assist with the family finances? Could it be it's his way of expressing worry over certain bills or anything?

I'm presuming you do all the housework, cooking, cleaning, etc while watchiong your Son.

My mates Brother goes out to work @ about 8 everymorning, comes home @ 7 / 8 most evenings THEN has to cook his supper, wash up for the day, do anywashing that needs doing & help bath the three children just to get to spend anytime with them as she then puts them to bed.
In all this his girlf dosen't work, she spends the days being a "Housewife" but as the house is always trashed & nothing's ever cooked he's beginning to suggest she goes back to work so he dosn'nt have to work as hard to supoprt a family of five on a single wage.

Talk to him, point out all you do & may be point out that if you went back to work all your wages would go to the childminder making it a slightly less financially beneficial idea.

Answer 7

My mother stayed home while we were babies and then when we were all at school she took a part time role that fitted in with our school hours. I really do no feel there is a right or wrong in this, of course in an ideal world it is better for one parent to stay home and look after the family, sadly not everyone can financially afford to do that. I think if you can afford it then it is a good thing, but I cannot condemn parents who have to work to afford their mortgage and bills.

Answer 8

he calls you lazy then you call him selfish. because to me he is selfish this is his child as well as yours and you could'nt possibly do anything better for this child than to stay home and raise it. Now if you guys are starving that is a different story. but all in all maybe he is jealous of you . maybe you are closer to the baby than he is . anyway i would tell him to shove it. you are his wife and now you and he have a baby , you guys are his family and all he cares about is that he has to pay the bills , he is being selfish and you should tell him so. I am a stay at home mom of3 and i feel that it the best thing for the kids.

Answer 9

There is an issue here ! Seems like your husband's holding grudges...
Was he happy with the pregnancy ? Do you still carry on with things you used to do together or do you just live for your son ?
In all cases, there is an issue lying there that needs to be solved quickly. You should ask your man, tenderly, why he's called you "lazy" and let him know it hurt you. And, after you've solved the problem-together- make love passionately but take your precautions...

Answer 10

I'd rather the real mother raise my son than a bunch of strangers. He just wants to buy toys for himself with the extra money.

Anyone who thinks being a stay at home mom is easy never had kids.

Answer 11

Are you lazy?Only you can say.Do you guys have enough money without you working?If more money isn't necessary,then do what you are doing.Personally,I think when a mom can stay home with the kids,they will be better off in the long run,as long as they aren't being spoiled.Giving kids TOO MUCH,just ruins them when they get older.