and the lie will blow up very soon if i dont tell her, i dont know what to do, should i make up excuse to break off with her? or should i just tell her about everything and leave her to decide on the fate of our relationship?? i know i screwed up so dont bother to comment on that part!
2007-11-05 23:42:10 · 17 answers · asked by jamesbond 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's better for you to tell her that you lied than it is for her to find out on her own.
Follow your own advice ---
Tell her everything, and then leave the fate of your relationship with her.
2007-11-05 23:48:51 · answer #1 · answered by mt75689 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lying is a very dangerous thing. It rarely goes well. You owe her the truth and the opportunity to decide where she wants to go from here.
But, be ready. If she's ever going to trust you, you're going to have to be trustworthy about everything from this point forward. Even the little stuff. Hopefully, if she chooses to give you a chance, you'll be able to prove to her that you're capable of being honest.
If she choose to leave you, remember you will get past it but don't make the same mistake again.
Good luck....
2007-11-06 00:20:32 · answer #2 · answered by Holly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear James, tell her now. I strongly suspect that the both of you are mistaking infatuation for love. Infatuation, even powerful infatuation is the wonderful feeling of inflation that comes with someone giving your personality and person positive feedback coupled with sexual attraction. Lying to impress the girl is bona fide proof that you lack self-esteem and a lack of self-esteem is a main ingredient in mistaking that inflation for love. She undoubtly has some lack too.
Tell her the truth. It should definitely piss her off, and she should definitely withdraw from you to re-assess her view of you. The result of that re-assessment will give her, and you, a much better indication of whether she has learned to love you, or the guy you described in your lies.
Now, it is far more important that you do a bit of soul-searching and get to the root of your lying. The idea that you have to be perfect is stupid and non-productive. The idea that you are the scum of the earth is stupid and non-productive - although in this case it can become true if you keep lying, cheating, stealing, and taking advantage of the vulnerable.
Look at those you admire. Behave more like them. Look at those you despise. Behave less like them.
Go, and lie no more. I forgive you, and you need to forgive yourself. Time and your behavior will tell if the girl will, or should forgive you!
P.S.: ANSWERS can give you the idea, the thought. YOU have to provide the honesty, will, perseverance, strength of character and ACTION! Its time to be a man. A good one. Do it for her. It will be an act of TRUE love.
2007-11-06 00:10:01 · answer #3 · answered by wordweevil 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the game alot of dishonest men play--the lying game. You played this game to get what you wanted, which is the ultimate deception. Now you want to lie your way out of it, by making up an excuse to break it off. Breaking it off wouldn't be an option if you really loved this girl. You just know your lies are catching up to you and you're not man enough to face the music. Sad.
2007-11-06 00:10:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you are married and that is why you are here in marriage and divorce questions?
You are getting what you asked for. A hellish problem of your own making and choice.
Tell your "girlfriend" or sex partner or whatever ... that you are married and do not ask her to decide your fate. You have a wife and probably children. The sex partner ..the adulteress ( you are the adulteror who tricked her into this ) ... does NOT choose the fate of your family. YOU have the responsibility to THEM and NOT to the "girlfriend". You used her up and now it is time for you to spit her out. The sex partner outside of the marriage does NOT choose the fate of your family. That is stupid to even think that way and shows your penis is doing most of your thinking for you. Not wise. A penis has only nerve endings and if you allow it to think for you then you are allowing a stupid thoughtless piece of flesh to think for you.
Look in the mirror. She does NOT deserve a man like you ruining her life. You let her go. Look at your family and see them more clearly now and hurry. They need your love and affection and for YOU to KEEP the promise you made to THEM.
Your wife does not ned to have her life ruined by a penis, sir. Your children do not need to have their lives ruined so your little penis can have more fun. Kapish?
GET YOUR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT!!!!!!!!
2007-11-06 01:12:17 · answer #5 · answered by Lisa of America 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell her everything and let her decide.. It was very rude and disrespectful of you to have lied to her about almost everything in the first place. Maybe she'll give you a second chance [just maybe] but I doubt that you'll have the same old relationship.. Her decision can be a 'karma' or a blessing, so expect the worst..
2007-11-05 23:48:29 · answer #6 · answered by [275] 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kiss her goodbye,have sex one last time and then tell her.My question is why would you lie?Was it just to get her in bed?You say you didn't know you would love each other this much but she loves what she thinks you are! When you find another woman be honest,if she doesn't like you for who you are then move on.Lieing is never a good idea.She's gone either way,if she stayed around she would never trust you again and that would end it anyway,so tell her and move on!
2007-11-06 00:05:33 · answer #7 · answered by notagain49 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex boyfriend lied about everything when we first met.. and pretended he was buying a new house, just to "reel me in" -- believe me a new house isn't that attractive, i'd rather get to know THE PERSON....
After about 9 months it all blew up in his face... he is over $20,000 behind on taxes, in bankruptcy, doesn't pay his bills, still lies about EVERYTHING... no one would loan him $10 toward a mortgage!!! he makes me sick.
If you love this girl, then you really need to sit her down and tell the truth once and for all. When we like about ourselves we are putting on a false face, and we are not who we presented ourselves to be at first.
It's important to be honest.. and you don't have to tell someone you are seeing your life history. Some things are private...
2007-11-06 00:01:24 · answer #8 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bro,seriously,grow a pair and DUMP THAT WOMAN AND NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER LOOK BACK!! Dont listen to these girls who tell you to be understanding of her "problem". If a guy had that as a "problem",we would get ZERO forgiveness. Shes using her "problem "as an excuse. If you stay with her,Im gonna have to ask you to turn in your man card. Us MEN cannot allow you to keep giving us a bad name. P.S. you had EVERY RIGHT to snoop around if she was doing wrong,certain others who shall remain nameless think that it is not ok to look into something because they are doing the same thing.If she was innocent then you would be wrong for snooping,since she was guilty,you were 100% right.
2016-05-28 02:35:07 · answer #9 · answered by cari 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel it is only right to tell her the truth,and you might also feel a lot better by telling her, and explain (no lies) why you did what you did. Be prepared for her anger towards you. It is only right that she be angry, don't react by been angry back. Also ask yourself and be honest why did you lie about yourself to her? HONESTY'S is the best policy
2007-11-05 23:57:18 · answer #10 · answered by bokkaroo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋