Should i take her back...?

Question

Right here goes....

2 months ago i was in a really happy 2 year relationship, then out of the blue she said she needed space and a week later she dumped me (on msn i might add) i fell to peices deep into a black hole but i manged to pull my self together after a month. Now i met this other girl on saturday shes really nice but we arnt going out. but we have planned to see eachother later this week an on friday she is staying round. Last night my ex txt me saying she loves me and miss's me so we met up and had a chat about things. she wants me to wait untill shes got her job sorted (in 3 months) and get back with me because then we would be stable. I still love her, she never cheated or anything just got scared. so what am i going to do?

1. Stay with the new girl ive met and keep seeing her for 3 months then go with my ex?
2. stay with the new girl and ditch the ex.
3. tell the new girl *something* to put her off me and wait for my ex for 3 months.

you can see im well lost

For all those that asked, i havnt a clue how i feel about her anymore, 3 days ago i was deeping in love with her still.

no for some reason i dont feel anything for anyone, not hate, or love.

She txt me today saying she was wrong she regets it all and that 'I am the one'.

I am 21 she is 20.

Answer 1

The next time you maturbate, make a note of which girl you were thinking about. Stay with that girl, but don't marry her. You're not ready for any kind of committed relationship.

Answer 2

Hello! You forgot one option...be by yourself and get "self" together. Question?...why would she want space out of the blue? and then dump you a week later? She breaks up with you on MSN...not in person, not on the phone.....online!Sounds like a lack of respect. I don't know how old you both are and I don't want you to get offended by what I'm going to say but listen UP!....You deserve better! She wants you to wait until her job is sorted out? To be stable? A job HELPS with stability. A good foundation in your relationship will make you stable no matter what. Oh please! She wants to see if the "new guy" is going to work out. What does she expect you to do while she's "sorting"? 3 months??? How do you know that this won't happen again? Aren't you going to wonder if she'll dump you again? Think about the fact she texted you to tell you that she misses you. What's wrong with a phone? She couldn't just show up and plant one on ya?
It sucks to be unsure about someone's feelings. One thing you can be sure about is that you can get other girls(maybe the "new girl") and life went on when she dumped you.
Now let's get REAL.......if you love her and really want to be with her then be with her..... knowing that at times she may be unsure about her feelings for you. I've been there and no matter what people say you do what you want anyway. affairs of the heart are tricky. It's great to be in-love and be loved. The good times seem to erase the bad. What's that saying? "It's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all".But don't leave the new girl hangin. Think about how you felt when the ex dumped you. Also keep in mind that the new girl maybe..or maybe not....a great person that you have alot in common with. What ever decision you make except the consequences...good or bad. I hope I didn't offend you. Like I said before, I've been there...it ain't pretty!

Answer 3

Well, it's not that difficult really.
Your ex treated you really badly; Fair enough, people do get scared and because of that they behave in the most weird way sometimes.
Now, you did manage to pull yourself together and it wasn't thanks to her.
She sent you packing with a text message, after two years???
Now, she wants you to put your life on hold for 3 months while SHE gets herself ready?

Well, you two probably needed a break anyway, but the way she went about it wasn't mature in the least.
I think that there'll always be an issue of trust in your relationship if you two were to go back together.
I think that now that you have managed to pick up yourself, AND got some freedom, keep it.

Your girlfriend was not ready fort a commitment, but, this still doesn't explain the way she let you down after a two year relationship. She is not reliable, and I don't think she deserved a second chance on that basis.

Still, you've been to hell yourself when you've been dumped, and probably felt used; So, why on earth would you do that to someone else who hasn't done anything to you?
Is it what you learnt from being dumped from your girlfriend?

Well, maybe you do deserve each other after all!

Answer 4

I can see the bind you're in. No simple answers here. The main, driving issue should be "do you love her"?

If yes, and if you haven't fallen for the new girl yet (which I doubt happened so quickly), then maybe you should think about giving it a try again...as long as you believe she really loves you and isn't just yanking your chain.

If you're not sure about any of that, then you’ll have to come up with a compromise. Personally, I wouldn’t wait for someone to make time for me after they broke my heart AND after they ask me to wait for them for three months. But that’s just me.

What you might want to try is total honesty with both girls, telling them where they stand. Tell the Ex that you’re not going to sit by the phone for three months while she gets her life together, that you plan on dating and going out until she is ready to prove she’s committed to making the relationship work this time. THAT in itself might spur her to hurry up her time frame a bit and snatch you back before someone else comes along. If it doesn’t, and/or if she doesn’t take that too well, I’d explain to her what she did when she broke off with you in such a cold way and that it’s her responsibility to repair that. Then tell the new girl you’re not over your ex yet and you don’t know if that will work out or not, but that you like her and want to see if there is anything there, but you don’t want to rush anything. Date platonically for a while and give yourself time to regain your focus and reorganize your priorities. Keep asking yourself every day if you still love the ex and remain honest with the new girl. Keep your options open until you’re sure of which direction to take.

Of course, there is a high risk that you might come out of all this with neither girl, no matter what decision you make. Girls don’t like be second or placed on hold anymore than you do, but jumping to a decision before you’ve explored all angles of the situation would be even worse.

I hope something here gave you ideas on how to handle the situation. If the new girl is honest and caring, don’t discount her off the bat. Three months is a long time. The ex may never get around to being with you again, or she could sort it all out tomorrow. The new girl deserves an honest look to see if she might be a better choice all the way around.

Good luck.

Answer 5

You need time too, to heal from a broken relationship. When your ex girlfriend broke up with you, the relationship has probably run its course. Let the relationship end. Don't go back.

If you stay with the new girl, you are on the rebound from the break up. Chances are your relationship with this new girl will not work either, if you still have feelings for your ex...She does not deserve that kind of treatment from you if you just want her to keep you from being lonely.

Find time to grieve first, get over from the past relationship, learn something out of it, find yourself before getting emotionally involve with another girl. Don't go into a relationship just because you are lonely, chances are you might end up hurt again.

You don't need a woman or another person to complete you. You have to be whole again before you could enter into another relationship. Enjoy life. You can be alone but still be happy. Or you can be surrounded by many loved ones, but still be lonely.

Answer 6

What gives this ex the right to tell u to put ur life on hold in case she comes back!!!!!
You've met someone who's really nice and ur going out and having fun, nothing serious yet but it could be, enjoy the new girl, the old one needs to sort her head out, if she can dump u after to years on MSN then well she's hardly got any respect for you has she?.. really she isn't the sort of person I'd want around let alone be in a relationship with....U would be stable as she has a job??...and she's not cheated on u? and for someone who's 'scared' she's set a very rigid timescale as when you'll get back together...Hmmmmmmmmm.....sorry mate but i don't think things add up here.......
Good Luck but I'd go for the nice girl who's met u, likes u, what's to have fun and see where things go, not someone who says yes we've been together for 2 years and i can't say it to ur face but we're finished, i need 5 months to get my head together then we'll get back together..........NO!!!!!!!...

Answer 7

First of all, does your ex know about this new girl?? If so, then maybe that is the only reason she is sniffing around again... you know the old saying 'you don't know what you got till it's gone'.

However, if she knows nothing about this new girl, then maybe she really does want to try again. I have to say number 1 and 3 are bad answers - either way, you are deceiving the new girl, and that isn't fair. She doesn't deserve that. If you are emotionally unavailable to her - tell her. Don't string her along.

I personally think number 2 is the best option, however, only you know how you feel, and if you are still in love with your ex - then you need to take it no further with his new girl. Be fair to all involved... it's called 'karma' :) Good luck :)

Answer 8

Option 4 - (you left out)
Meet the new girl since you really don't know where this is going. Your girlfriend is busy taking care of her life (without you). Why 3 months? She's a wack job. How can anyone say they'll be ok in 3 months?

She's playing you and for you to wait if foolish.
Go out with the new girl and see where it goes. You'll know better in the 3 months and will not be waiting for her to show up and want you back.
What are you going to do if after 3 months she says she has decided to blow you off? Fall to pieces all over again.
Get on with life.

Answer 9

For now just enjoy ur single life. U can't sit around waisting ur life waiting for someone just because they say they will come back to you. Over those three months things could change they way both of u feel about each other. I dont think u should forget about her but keep ur eyes open. if u want to talk to the other girl then do so and see what happens...ur heart will tell u what it feels and if u and ur ex are meant to be then it will happen but dont waste 3 months of ur life just sitting there not doing anything. LOVE CONQUERS ALL! AND ONLY TIME WILL TELL
GOOD LUCK!

Answer 10

Don't just be readily available when the ex comes back. She left, let her suffer a little to see if YOU want HER back. When people dump others they know the pain they are inflicting, but they still go ahead and do it anyway. She didn't think of you, just herself. So I would say, continue to see the new girl and when the ex comes back meet with her once in a while, at your convenience and when you're not seeing the new girl. Do not move in with the ex, but take the time to explore your options. How do you know she wont leave again. Don't be, or act desperate whatever you do.

Answer 11

do you really want to be at the beck and call of this woman she is jealous that you have got some one new if i was you i would not Wait the three months that's to much to ask of anyone try seeing where you go with the new girl if it doesn't work with her then you have lost nothing and the other girl will still be in the back ground she has walked of once what is there to say she wont do it again think on this before you make your mind up good luck in the decision you make