Should I have another baby???

Question

Okay I will be 26 in march, and I have been married for 7yrs. We have a rocky relationsip, I'm in college for the first time for my nursing degree, and we have 2 boys. My oldest is 6 and youngest is 2. I have been feeling like I want to be pregnant again even though it's probably not the best time. (but really, when is) I really want a little girl and can't seem to just let it go, and don't know if I ever will. I can't decide what to do. I know I'm being more selfish by getting pregnant again because my husband doesn't want anymore kids. But at the same time I am getting older and I think if I'm going to have another baby it's better to do it while I am younger. What do you think i should do? Wait and see what fate brings?....or start planning a pregnancy?

wow the truth is brutal. maybe I should have asked...should I still be married. Thanks for the advice. I pretty much knew the answer

If you all think I should wait...tell me how I can get over this need to be pregnant. many of my friends are pregnant right now and it makes this urge so much harder.

Answer 1

If you and your husband have a rocky relationship, I recommend to try working on that first. A baby won't make it better. Also, I would try to finish school, too. You say you're in college for the first time and that becomes so much harder with a new baby. I understand not wanting to wait much longer, but what's a couple of years?

Answer 2

Thats a good age to have a baby; but you are saying you are in a rocky relationship and are in college for the first time for your nursing degree. That tells me you are trying to get hire up in the "money chain" AND you are not only going into a field that helps people but you are trying to rase two bundles of joy :) While you are doing all of these great things you are getting stressed by your relationship. I do not think you selfish at all for wanting another child (hopefully a girl :) ) because that shows you love children and Im guessing you must be a very good mommy, I know your Husband would understand if you wanted another baby. You wanting a baby at a young age is not bad at all BUT I think because your life is going to get better for you and yet a little stressful at the same time, you should wait till you do not have to question weather it is the correct time to have a baby or not because, I am sure you will know :)

Answer 3

You asked, right? lol Here is my opinion.

You are in a situation that you admit is already "rocky". You have alot going on with school and kids, and husband ...etc. You yourself know it's going to be alot worse having to deal with all this and an infant. Remember, they can be quite demanding.

I think you have alot on your plate right now. Youare not that old. Trust me! lol I think you should focus on your studies. When you graduate, and you do get a nursing job, your finances will change, the stress should become less without the burden of trying to find the time to study, and having more income, maybe then you can consider having another child.

I don't mean to be negative, but raising 3 kids by yourself isn't easy. If you do become pregnant your husband may feel like its the last straw and maybe feel he can't handle it, and run for it. I don't know you personally, I am just being realistic. Think about it. You have PLENTY of time.

Good luck in your choice. I wish you the best!

Answer 4

You have answered your own question several times over in your explanation. You should never have a baby because of your age, or because you want a girl, or because you think it will help a rocky relationship. You should get your nursing degree, and secure a future that would allow you to manage on your own, work on your marriage, and love your boys. In 5 or 6 years if you still feel you want another child you will be in a much better position to make the right decision.

Answer 5

If your relationship is rocky, I would suggest you work on that first. If your husband is not in agreement, you cannot consider pregnancy. That would not be fair to him, and your relationship could suffer. Age is more of a factor for a first pregnancy, not a second or third, so you have plenty of time. Enjoy your children and your husband. I have 2 kids, and it works out well. The kids don't outnumber the parents! Many women fantasize about babies, more kids. It's normal, but it doesn't mean it's a good idea. Just wait until the time is right.

Answer 6

I think you need to finish school first, and improve your relationship. Unless you like being stressed. What happens if you and your husband get divorced. What are you going to do then. Yes it is selfish. You just admitted you have a rocky relationship and he doesn't want more kids... maybe you have a rocky relationship because you guys don't listen to each other and respect each other. I understand your yearning for another child, but it doesn't sound like now is a good time. I would wait until you can at least support the children on your own. Daycare is expensive, and although you guys may never get divorced, I sure know I wouldn't want to stress about supporting 3 children while still in school and working a minimum wage job.

Answer 7

I think that you should talk to your husband. Tell him how you feel. You said yourself that now might not be the best time. After all you are in school. And your relationship is going through some hard times. Yes your not getting any younger but you will still be able to have kids for many more years. Why don't you just talk to him and see what comes of that and go on from there. Good Luck.

Answer 8

Well keep in mind you and your husband relationship is rocky and he don't want any more kids. So if you get pregnant you may be without a husband. I think you should get your nursing career going work on your marriage and see what you want to do in the next 4 yrs. Good luck!!!

Answer 9

Two things make this answer very clear and easy for me. You say your marriage is on rocky ground, and you say your husband doesn't want any more kids. In a marriage it takes two yes' and only one no! If you both are not in agreement on having another child, and by the way why would you if your marriage is on rocky ground, then the answer is NO!!!! Maybe in time you will both be in a better place in your marriage and your husband will be ready to have another baby with you. Time will tell...

Answer 10

Your husband not wanting to have more children, and your marriage is rocky is sure to put more strain on your relationship. Don't think this will bring the two of you closer. There are enough children being brought up in single parent homes as it is.

Tell you something to make you stop the urge? If living without your husband to help you to rear 3 children isn't enough, then I wouldn't know what to tell you. It would be selfish to take a risk of him leaving by putting my pressure on him and your marriage.