Live in Cargiver, Family does not help.?

Question

I am a live in cargiver for a patient, the family does not help. I get 30 hours off a week, I do not have to pay rent, but I do not have a life either, I am praying and asking God if I should stay here? I am also afraid of what might happen to my lady if I leave. I feel I care more for her than her family does. Please help.

Thanks to all that has answered so far, I am close to burn out. It is so easy for me to say if her family can live less than a mile away and will not come see her, check on her, no contact till someone come from out of town, or we go to the docter (after me pressing the issue) they are all concerned then and only then, I have been ask to give up some of my time off but they will not even watch her a couple of hours because that interrupts their life. Again I know my reward is in heaven but during the 30 hours off most of the time I go to my moms house and go to sleep. If the family does not make sacrifices for their sister and aunt, why should I. When I started she was on hospice, now she does not qualify for hospice anymore. THANK GOD.

Answer 1

You ought to be commended for your charitable, kind and caring heart. Whatever money the family is paying you to care for this patient will never be sufficient to compensate for your generosity. But you know what, even if the family doesn't acknowledge you. Somebody up there would see kindness. Remember, what Jesus said to His disciples. "Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers, you do unto me".


I too was a caregiver, for many years. Initially, it was my first husband who died from cancer. Thereafter I took care of my mom until she died of cancer. Then it was my father's turn who died from a stroke. Mind you, I'm not the only daughte in our family nor the eldest. In our culture, it's expected of the eldest one to care for aging parents.
I was drained physically ,emotionally and financially. I was skin and bones.


Your needs become secondary to the person you're taking care of. I bet that patient of yours lasted all this time because of your TLC.


Your rewards awaits you in heaven. But you should really take care of yourself. You should eat nutritious meals. You should try to take days off to recharge your batteries. You should try to get some semblance of life for yourself outside of the patient. Otherwise, you might get sick and "burn -out "and and won't be able to care for your patient.


Advice to Caregivers: Seek and Give Support to Others

It's no secret that being a caregiver is extremely difficult.

Often, caregivers suddenly find themselves thrust into a situation for which they have not been prepared, but nevertheless wanting to do the very best for the person for whom they are caring. The price that caregivers pay in terms of their own physical health is recognized by others.

However, in part because we are society that is not sufficiently tuned into mental health, the mental and emotional factors associated with caregiving are less recognized. Yet the constant worry and uncertainty of caregiving does take a significant toll.

Much of the emotional burden of caregiving is imposed upon the caregiver by the situation itself, but assessments of caregivers have shown that a caregiver may develop behavior patterns that contribute to the emotional costs of caregiving.

For instance, they may set impossible goals for themselves, expect to find a solution to every problem or expect never to make a mistake. Indeed, they may come to expect perfection of themselves.

Answer 2

I too was a caregiver for 17 + yrs. I started very young (23) and would still be doing it but my back gave out and I am now disabled. I didn't live in but I had MANY clients that had families that didn't seem to care. Sadly it's something we have to get used to as caregivers. I found myself worrying every time I had days off or after I went home. It's a difficult but rewarding job. We can't answer if you should leave or not. If you are feeling overwhelmed though it might be time for a break. Or you could seek out a caregiver support group. You sound like a caring caregiver so I hope you don't give up. They are very hard to find, especially the live ins. I'm sure your client appriciates how much you care. What ever you decide, I wish you all the best. God bless you for doing one of the hardest jobs out there!

Answer 3

Thank you for taking good care of this lady. 30 hrs. per week, what can you do on your time off?
Go shopping for yourself. Go to a movie, get together with a friend or two. Go out to lunch with a friend. Or dinner.
Find a pool you can go swimming in in the community. Go for walks, read, get your hair/nails done.
Take care of yourself on your time off. You are important too.
Too bad the family doesn't understand what they are truly missing--time with this relative--that they won't ever be able to make up.
Take care.

Answer 4

Gee, hon...I'm a live-in caregiver too..It's spiritually rewarding to be of real help to someone, but, if you're doing live-in shifts,
and not getting a minimum of $100 a day on top of that, you should change patients...There's a real shortage of people
here in California to do the overload of work.I can give you some email addresses if you want to work where you can be better appreciated.