I left a used condom in a plastic bag on my kitchen. I forgot to throw it out and my mom found it and then confronted me. I felt horrible. She looked and felt very dissapointed at me. I didn't know what to tell her. I'm in a serious relationship and I already finished college, so I think I waited until the right time to be intimate with someone for the first time. She does not understand this because everything in her generation was different. She comes from a catholic family and her strict latino heritage doens't help at all. I just don't know what to do now, what should I tell her or do to gain her trust back? Besides what can I do now so that when I go out with my bf she doens't think that we're having sex every time.
2007-11-05 18:14:07 · 24 answers · asked by SARA RRR 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Bring him around the house more, it will only be akward until you guys break-in eachother.
As for the sex, you've finished college and there are alot of worse things you could have done to disappoint her, and atleast she knows you are using protection, you should probably get onto a secondary form of birth control.
2007-11-05 18:18:51 · answer #1 · answered by Danni D. 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hmmmm i know what u mean exactly, You are old enough to make the decisions you want, she has to accept that you are not a little kid anymore, trust me i speak from experince i also come from a catholic family with a strict latino heritage, The times are diffrent and its not like before, show her you are grown up and that it was youre decision and you felt that it was the right time for you. i know its going to suck because she probably will give u the guilt trip but come one yore grown she cant treat you like a child. Good luck :]
2007-11-05 18:19:45 · answer #2 · answered by onelove 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are an adult and you have the right to make that choice to have sex. Chances are, she won't understand that due to her strong religious beliefs and heritage. Best thing is to try and explain to her that you are an adult and you have the right to make that choice. BUT if you are still living in her house she has the right to say what she does and doesn't want going on there. So you need to respect her wishes if that is the case and by all means don't leave used condoms on the kitchen counter. That is so gross.
2007-11-05 18:18:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
You cannot make your Mom understand your choices if they are vastly different from her beliefs. She is just going to have to realize that you are an adult and you are smart enough to be using birth control.
You do not have to do anything, if she wants to discuss it with you, it is up to her to bring up the discussion. If she chooses not to discuss it, then it in a non issue.
You should think about if you knew that your Mom was coming to visit that you may have subciously left the condom out for her to find....I don't believe that many reasonless things happen in life and you may have secretly wanted to prove that you are an adult and capable of making your own decisions.
You cannot do anything, she is going to believe what she is going to believe and not to be mean, but considering that you are an adult and have finished college....your sex life is none of her business.
If she does choose to berate you, you should nicely tell her that you do not mean to offend her, but it is your life and your choices.
Parents have to learn to let go of their children when they become adults.....my grown kids would be chuckling right now, I still cry when they leave after visiting....so it is all easier said than done...and we can only all move forward to the best of our ability.
Good luck you should be proud of yourself for completing college and being a smart young lady with regards to your personal life.
2007-11-05 18:31:32 · answer #4 · answered by Sue F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the big thing here is the trust issue. You have to communicate with your mom that youre an adult (hopefully over 18). Let her know that youre sorry you disappointed her but you feel like this one is the one you wanted to be with. I guess youre thinking of marriage? Let her know that too. The main thing is to speak with her calmly and reasonably as an adult, because sometimes it is hard for us as parents to see our children as grown ups.
As for how to gain her trust back, that is a tough one. The ideal thing to do make sure she understands that youre making a decision as an informed adult and youre taking the proper precautions...I have had more than a few latina girlfriends but there is always a special relationship with their mothers...it is going to be hard work but it will be worth the effort.
Good luck.
2007-11-05 18:25:39 · answer #5 · answered by walter4p46 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you need to get her trust back? You are and adult and you do not need her approval to have sex. I would tell her that you are sorry that she found out that way but you need to make your own decisions and she should not judge you. I don't know if that will help with her or not. You are going to do things in your life that your mother is not going to approve of. You cannot live to please her. You need to make yourself happy and not worry about her or anyone else. You waited until you were an adult and you used protection. She should be glad that you did. Good luck.
2007-11-05 20:05:36 · answer #6 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you can do is sit down and talk about it. Not only her religious principles and latino heritage is affecting... She feels you disrespected her house by having sex in it.
I don't think there is much you can do, whenever you go out she will be thinking you're having sex every time.
2007-11-05 18:18:33 · answer #7 · answered by Papucho 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thank god it was just the condom with the sperms you brought home. But why did you carry it around in the first place.
Be honest with your mother. Forget what she feels. This is a different generation .... and you will be surprised that if you are forthcoming and seek her help and understanding she will be with you. After all remember she is your mom .... one who is truly interested in your welfare come what may. She may be angry ... but you have to show patience and be cool. She will come around and understand gradually.
2007-11-05 21:52:54 · answer #8 · answered by prad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain your decision to her and tell her you know she might not understand at first because of the generational thing. Do not feel bad. This sort of thing happened to me, but my mom was much more understanding. Do not say things like that your regret your decisions and such. Your mom will always love you no matter what and if she doesn't understand, just let it kinda blow over.
2007-11-05 18:21:14 · answer #9 · answered by *~*BUNNY*~* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not really her problem. I don't know why parents think they can protect their children after they are old enough to make their own responsible decisions (which you did). I respect you for waiting, and so should she.
We're not living in the 50s anymore. You are probably the minority in waiting that long.
2007-11-05 18:20:21 · answer #10 · answered by abcdefghijklmnop 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋