How does one broach the conversation of divorce?

Question

Give me specifics on what you did or had to deal with. Thanks.

Answer 1

Just say, since we aren't getting along, I have hired an attorney to settle our differences. That way you can avoid using the word divorce and it sounds nicer.

Answer 2

I take it from your question, you are considering divorce. Well, I suggest carefully. My first marriage ended when she ran off with another man, so that was really easy. I contacted an attorney the next day after she ran off. I also changed the locks on the house right after contacting a lawyer. Then it was simple, file the papers and wait for her to get in touch with me, and once that happened, have the process server deliver the papers. My second ended when she simply said she did not want to be married anymore and went to live elsewhere. After 6 months of trying to at least start a conversation and attempt to fix things, I gave up trying and consulted a lawyer and filed the papers and let the process server tell her when the papers were delivered, which by the way, made her VERY angry, since she was served where she worked as I did not have the address of where she was living. Over the six months, I tried to initiate conversation where she worked and nothing, so I told her I was going to file, and did that same day. The process server delivered her copy the following day and that's when I got the scathing phone call about how I had embarrassed her at work. Splitting the assets was a bit tricky. She thought she was entitled to half the value of the house. ($40K, and she demanded it in cash, no less!) That bubble got busted when she found out that all she would get is a few dollars from her half of the equity, at the time about $5K. A house bought with no down payment on the GI Bill does not have much equity for the 1st 1/4th of the mortgage. But, she owed me half of all the back child support her ex-husband had NOT paid, which coincidentally, more than equaled her equity in the house. She kept the whole asset of the back child support she was owed and I kept the house (and the whole mortgage too!) The fact that she had not gone after her ex-husband for not paying, was not my fault. Once we were married, I was owed half for the entire time. After we divorced, I heard she went to court in an effort to get him to pay the back support.

YMMV

Answer 3

Generally when you divorce there's a specific reason, isn't there..... or it's been brewing for a long time.

You need to communicate and ensure if this is not something worth working out. Does your spouse even know what you're thinking?

I have been through a divorce... and am now happily married - the first marriage was fairly emotionally abusive so that died a fairly natural death..... there was no "divorce conversation" as such.

Answer 4

Funny you should ask...email. This just happened today: a couple we've know for a decade has been married for 16 years and warring for the last three. They live in the US and tonight he's on business in Scotland and just wrote her an email saying he's coming home Thursday to pack his bags and leave forever. She's gonna let him.

Answer 5

can i talk openly about whats going on in my mind with out you judging me or becoming upset or angry . i feel confused about were we are going ,/ it seems to me we are holding each other back from our true wants and needs../ im not really sure what they are but i feel its time we went our seperate ways

Answer 6

just set down with her or him and tell them how your feeling and where you are or arent in the relationship. good luck

Answer 7

well hon i have to tell you something. i want a divorce. simple. ?