My cousin has a 1-year-old daughter and at the time she got pregnant she was sleeping with 2 different people. She TOLD the guys from the start about her infidelities and neither of the guys offered to help with the pregnancy/ baby. She just now had a paternity test to see who the father was. She gets welfare assistance and that was one of the stipulations was to receive child support. Now the father is claiming abuse to the child because she didn't have the test done sooner. Is that really child abuse? She says the neither guy stuck around or tried to help her out until they could determine who was the baby's father so it didn't matter to her. That might have not been best for the baby but is that really abuse??
2007-11-05 15:34:25 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Also, I forgot to point out. He says he will "agree" to child support but that he shouldnt have to pay back pay because he didn't know the child was his. What do you guys think? Any advice from experience or the legal profession is much appreciated!
2007-11-05 15:35:26 · update #1
Thanks to everyone for their answers! This may be the first question where nobody posted a smartass or crude remark! YAY!
2007-11-05 16:10:51 · update #2
I did not find out my daughter was mine until she was four years old. I joined the Air Force and unknowingly got her pregnant prior to my leaving. I have lived up to my responsibility since. I was required to pay back to the birth. At first, it bothered me a little, but I soon realized that I helped bring the child into this world. Therefore, I should be financially liable whether I was there in the beginning or not. As for your other question. No, that is not child abuse. He has some growing up to do.
2007-11-05 15:39:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
I read an article about a guy who didn't know he had a kid until the kid was 20 years old or so and he had to back pay, if it's your kid its your kid. It's only fair to back pay. Plus, the guy skipped out when she told him. Also, I don't think that it can be considered abuse if she didn't get a paternity test. It just doesn't make any sense. But each state is different with their laws. Good luck to your friend.
P.S. it does not matter if he didn't know the child was his. The matter of the fact is that it is his child and she does have to right to back pay of child support.
2007-11-05 15:53:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your sister should be have been more responsible and not gotten pregnant. While birth control is the responsiblity of both partners, it is unltimately up to the woman to protect herself against becoming pregnant even if the male doesn't use protection. It is after all her body. That being said I don't think the father of the child should have to pay back child support. The moral to the story is don't get pregnant and then expect the father to "help" out with a child they did not choose to have.
2007-11-05 16:08:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is one of the few times that child support can be retro active. She informed both men of the possibility of them being the father so they were informed. They chose to not be around. As for abuse, this idea is stupid. It is just something made up to scare the mother. They don't want to support the child and they think if she will believe she will be arrested or charged with abuse, she will leave them alone. Get support and don't worry about the abuse.
2007-11-05 15:41:37 · answer #4 · answered by baseballdad69 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Regarding the father claiming he shouldnt have to pay back child support because he was,nt aware of being a father, isnt gonna fly, they dont give a crap about anything but collecting money, so sorry about his luck, he should have thougt about that before making a baby with this woman.
2007-11-05 15:43:30 · answer #5 · answered by penelope 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
this guy sounds like a jerk and willing to do anything to get out of paying child support and NO THIS IS IN NO WAY ABUSE if it was then he could be charged the same way for not sticking around as for him AGREEING TO PAY BACK SUPPORT IT IS NOT UP TO HIM TO AGREE IT IS UP TO THE JUDGE i have never seen a judge not order back support in fact she can also get half of all her medical paid for by the father for her pregnancy including doctor visits medications delivery and the whole nine yards if it was medical and involved her pregnancy, by the way a year old baby dosent know yet what she missed if this guy truly wants to be in his daughters life BUT he sounds more like a guy that needs watching as he seems willing to do almost anything to get out of paying support please make sure your cousin knows all this
2007-11-05 15:47:46 · answer #6 · answered by Dale T 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think your friend has made a real mess for herself and should do everything she can to raise this child without the drama or the courts and welfare.
Sounds like she learned to be real good at playing men..maybe she could learn to play the stock market too?
She owes this child a positive life and positive direction. None of that comes from a check or the courts.
2007-11-05 15:41:18 · answer #7 · answered by Hubby . 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Does not sound like abuse to me.
And no, he shouldn't have to pay back child support if he didn't know the baby was his.
2007-11-05 15:46:30 · answer #8 · answered by rorybuns 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
No that isn't child abuse. He will have to pay back child support, just because the child is his.
2007-11-05 15:43:52 · answer #9 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's not abuse and he doesn't have to "agree" to anything the court will decide how much he pays and he will pay or go to jail! Guys you need to think about this BEFORE you have sex!And women!
2007-11-05 15:44:44 · answer #10 · answered by notagain49 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋