cannot stop being depressed after substaining a TBI and getting divorced shortly after?

Question

I was in a car accident 4 years ago that left me in a coma for two weeks. and i woke up to my wife divorcing me ( I don't blame her though).
I still have not rebounded socially, and contemplate suicide several times a day. I see a councilor and am on an antidepressant ( the one that worked the best of all the ones i have tried) but still suicidal.
My mind seems to have two flavors to it (outward) jealous and violent thinking, and (Inward) Suicidal idealization of self destruction.

I hide this all very well at my full time job and while going to college full time.

I really hate the fact that i am a 5'6" guy, and blame all of my lacking social life on the fact that "girls want tall guys", "not little shrimps" Shorties are supposed to be girls.

Any help for the crazy guy here?
its not as fun as it sounds......

Answer 1

First of all, if your wife left you at the very time that you needed her the most, then you are lucky to be done with her. Don't give her another thought or worry. Consider the experiences that you had with her as life lessons from which you have learned, but which are now in the past, and thus relegated to the background of your consciousness.

As for your concern about your height, we all have burdens which sometimes weigh us down. But, in most cases, we can consciously choose to accept the physical and mental attributes that define us, and work within those set parameters.

For example, you can choose to compensate for a perceived negative physical characteristic by emphasizing positive aspects in other areas, such as intellect and the ability to empathize.

I'm sure that if you total all of your positive attributes, which will be innumerable if you take time to count them, those aspects will far outdistance any negatives that you perceive.

In short, accept what you have now, and start your journey toward positivity in other more important aspects of human interaction and sociability.

Answer 2

My mind seems to have two flavors to it (outward) jealous and violent thinking, and (Inward) Suicidal idealization of self destruction.

Reminds me when I was going thru my teenage years to a tie. Really buddy your best bet, and the simpliest is to find people who have been in your similar situation or that you feel share a similar understanding of how you feel. The reason being that inorder to get past this, you need to find out the truth. Which is beyond this medium. But its about seeing truely for yourself why you shouldn't be jeaouls and also understanding that sucidial ideas of the individual is actually a healthy extention of your need to DIE for a purpose. Since you have none, you just want to die, find a purpsoe to die for, and you'll be better of. The quick fix! CHURCH! Thats right! The hard fix, figure out reality on your own, instead of having someone else make it for you. But it comes down to that old quote buddy

Get busy livin, or get busy die'n.

Ether way you do it, do it for a reason that might help your brothers and sisters, you've got a good heart! You've got a human heart! But theirs some bad, bad people out their, if you going to take your life, taking them out with you. I put this restriction on myself, and its what keeps me alive, it gave me a purpose. Lucky for me I havn't met any pedephiles or rapist, or we wouldn't be having this conversation. But never underestmate the power of purpose. See right how your purpose is to kick your own """"", fix that.....