Men only please. Why would you do it? Be kind I am a nice person.?

Question

Just to sum it up..I took my bf back after a 3 yr break up. We are married now with a 7 yr old. We are good parents. When we were just bf and gf we broke up because he left me for another female (our son was 2). Since we been married, he's talked to her on several occasions, before I found out I let him do as he pleased because I forgave and trusted him again. Now I wonder after finding out they've talked several times....what does that mean? He says it's nothing. I don't want to question my husband anymore than he's answered but I can't help but wonder..If it bothers me, shouldn't he respect that? If it is nothing, why does he do it? I want us to have freedom to do whatever we choose and be able to be faithful at the same time.
I feel like I do support him in good or bad situations. I believe in us. I don't ask the question anymore since he answered but
Why the need to talk to her? He says he'd never even have a fling with her so Why talk?

Answer 1

I am so sorry that you trusted him again. But what i think is that they have feelings for each other and can't keep away from each other.. He would rather not lose her then to take your feelings into consideration and that in itself is telling you how he feels about you.. I would tell him that if he feels he needs to be friends with her more then he cares how you feel that, that speaks for him.

Answer 2

I had a friend who could only feel confident if in a relationship. By this I mean, confident with other women. He would sleep around whenever the opportunity arose. Basically, his girlfriends were security blankets. All his girlfriends all had the same traits, kind, loving, supportive and very genuine. His extras on the side, where flirtatious, very wild and basically, the total opposite to his girlfriends. If he couldn't find a girlfriend, he was a lost little puppy and wouldn't sleep with anyone. Your hubby sounds pretty much the same. Why does he do it? Can't answer that with certainty. It sickens me to see women treated this way. You seem to be a very genuine person and I'm sorry if this distresses you. My only conclusion is that he was hurt in the past, in some way, and wants to be sure he has his bases covered if, he feels it's happening again. Sorry to say this but, you're the security blanket!

Answer 3

This isn't a good thing. He has cheated before and what is to stop him from cheating again? Plus he may think that just because he told you that nothing is happening and you act like everything is ok that he can get away with even more. Why does he have to talk to her anyway? And yes he should respect that it bothers you because you aren't bf/gf you are married! What is more important to him talking to this lady that supposedly means nothing or his wife that he has a kid with?

Answer 4

I think he should not be in contact with her. I think (most) guys have it in the back of their mind that once they've been with a girl, they have some "right" to go there again. Why expose yourself to that?

My wife has an expression that I think may fit this situation: "Think the worst and you're probably right." Likely not the words you want to hear, but none the less...

If there is "nothing" going on, why does he need her female companionship? What is he not getting from you that she provides? What if the situation was reversed? Of course you can't ask him tha last one because he'll say "Oh...it'd be fine" because he's doing it.

Nothing good can come from them keeping in touch.

Good luck.

Answer 5

Although, I'm not a guy....imma answer this. Trust is a HUGE factor in a relationship! Maybe he wants to talk to her to keep a friendship goin'? And didn't he leave you for her? so how can he not have a fling with her unless it was another women...try not to bring it up so often...and if u think he's cheatin, catch him in the act or read the emails or wahtever....yea, its dirty..but its the only way u can get a striaght answer right?..best of luck..

Answer 6

You sound like a wonderful wife. Don't let this change you, because it is not your fault. What he does is on him, not you.

People who do things like that are gonna do it if they think they can get away with it. Even if one could force them to be true, it wouldn't be the same.

As a man, I can tell you that he should not be doing what he is doing, whether he is actually having a "fling" or not; because he should not be putting himself in that situation with someone he formerly had a fling with, nor abusing your trust this way.

Again though, HE is the one who is in the wrong, so don't let it change you.

Answer 7

This situation is really bothering you. Your husband knows it, but ignores your feelings. It doesn't sound like your too clingy or ultra jealous. Your husband needs to stop talking to this woman if he really wants your marriage to work. The whole thing stinks with a capital S. Ask your husband to switch places with you and ask him how he would feel if you were doing the same thing.

Answer 8

Someones sexual behaviour isn't the only standards for whats stated as a solid guy. He may be somebody with integrity and a undemanding companion regardless of his previous. If somebody has had dissimilar companions yet in ordinary terms one at one time, its very diverse from being a participant. i do no longer elect to remark on his filming profession. Its unusual yet puzzling to categorise him as a pervert in accordance with in simple terms that. Do you think of he would be dependable to you assuming you're thinking him for a intense relationship. If has been undemanding approximately his previous and you experience you may have faith him it somewhat is all that concerns. He has to end 'performing' as quickly as he's with you, as I reported th in ordinary terms component isn't any count number in case you have faith him or no longer

Answer 9

I'm not a guy but this same thing happened to me. He continued talking with her even after i found out about it... and you guessed it they ended up in bed together again. there is only one reason why i can see why he would still have a NEED to talk with her, she has something that he's interested in. Your hubby needs to make a decision you or her.

Answer 10

ahh, the old trick of having two ports, just in case..........
i did the same , even do he does not feel or have feelings for that woman , just for the thrill of it ,he will likely keep that relationship. that is not good, remember , one thing leads to another, and just like that , they could get involved again. if he married you , he must respect you, and never see the other again, beacause he as a man, can fall.