How do I know my husband still loves me and wont cheat on me?

Question

Okay Me and my husband have been together for 5 years. and we have 3 small children. i am 25 and he is 21.
i just want to know How do I know if he still loves me anymore after all these years. He has done some pretty hurtful stuff behind my back im sure you all know what im talking about! But that left me feeling pretty bad and jealous. I t ry to trust him but cant find it in myself. He says he loves me but it seems like just a routine thing when he says it. like there is no meaning to it. He doesnt seem like he is interested anymore. Yes ive put on a lil weight but I still look good and dress up with my heels and what he likes. but I have to fish for compliments or get hurt and cry over it before he says anything.
is it me or him. Does he still love me? or Want someone else?
How do I knkow that he wont cheat again.?
I am and have been completely faithful through out every thing and im still here. so its nothing that I have done. Guys am I just old news or something? i need to know

Answer 1

Well, for one thing, this goes way beyond loving you honey. This is a trust issue and a huge insecurity issue on your part. You are spending all this time worrying about what he thinks, plus being mom, keeping yourself up, etc., that you are forgetting who you really are. You were the one who got him in the first place, you are the mother of his three children, you are the one he comes home to, who does his laundry, cooks his meals, etc., the man would be stupid to screw that up.

And the odd thing about that? Is sometimes you have to make him work for it to realize it. So the next time you are all dressed up, rather than wait for a compliment, kiss him goodbye, tell him when the baby ate last and go and meet your girlfriends. Come home a little late and sweetly apologize. Act as though you don't need him for awhile. (Key word is act), Don't call him during the day at work, forget to make his lunch, and forget about dinner. It's going to get him thinking for a change honey, and when men think something is going on, they tend to wake up and pay attention to the situation. They start paying attention to their wives, complimenting them, and helping out. And if he doesn't, then sweetie, you have to realize that he's only 21. He has alot of growing up to do before he's ready to become a man.

Answer 2

My dear, unfortunately you can't "KNOW" or be sure about it. If he did it once already, being so young, it's highly probable he'll do it again because he still has so many years to come.... he's young, he might feel as if he lost out on some things and didn't live his life to the fullest before getting married etc........ he's almost a teenager!! He doesn't seem to be very willing to do his part for this marriage to work (by not showing appreciation to you, ignoring you, etc...), and in these circumstances it cannot work because you can't hold it together on your own. I don't know if he loves you, only he knows that (or not even him), but he seems to have committment issues and you have to decide if you want to live with this even if you love him and think "he loves you". I think you're too young to settle for an unhappy marriage which will sooner or later affect your kids as well. Don't do it.... I don't think you have done anything wrong, EXCEPT to put up with his cheating and to take his crap and lack of appreciation. But you can stop this...... only you can decide to stop taking this crap. Good luck.


Would you answer my question?

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Thanks....

Answer 3

OK did anyone do that math?? this is what happens when you get married young. I know it happened to me. You were 20 and he was 16. IF you were a man you would be in jail right now for child molestation and you would never had been married in the first place. Now he is 21 with a wife and three kids. I can see at his age he is probably questioning his choices in life. He was 16 now he is older and maybe realizing.I really dont know what to tell you but you might always want to prepare for divorce. What he has done behind your back there is no excuse for however, I hope anyone young that is reading this gets the point about NOT getting MARRIED at such a young age.

Answer 4

Your problem is that you have low self-esteem and a poor self-image. I think subconsciously you expect to be treated like crap. Everyone has the love life they want. Start expecting more and you'll start getting more. You've got to make some major changes in the way you perceive yourself and the world if you want to be happy.

I'm not going to judge you based your age, or his, that would be ageism and a very narrow-minded way of looking at things. There's plenty of cultures around the world where people get married young and are happy so forget about all the people judging you based on some superficial belief society's has told them they should have.

Answer 5

If hes hurt you and you have tried to get Thee trust back and still don't trust him then leave him other wise you are never going to be happy u will always be wondering and that's not fair to you and the kids i went through th same thing and learned that there was a true love out there for me that i could trust and one that wouldn't cheat there are still good ones just gotta find them and to be honest u don't need a man in your life to be happy you and your children can be a whole.

Answer 6

It seems like you've already answered your question. If you know that when he says 'I Love You' it's just a routine thing then you don't need to do any thing more, but take things at face value for what they really are. If you know that you don't trust him, then do yourself and your kids a favor and leave. He can still take care of the children and not hurt you. Tell yourself that you deserve better and believe it. Don't stick around and let him abuse you anymore. LOVE YOURSELF!!!!

Answer 7

You don't know if he will cheat again. The question you need to ask yourself is can you live with the anxiety that you have everyday worrying about it? I could not. I would not forgive for infidelity. It does not sound like a place that I would want to be. If he acts uninterested take that at face value. Good luck to you.

Answer 8

A guy that age has no clue as to what he wants. When looking for a mate, make sure the male is over 30 years old to settle down. Anything under 30 is playing games.

Answer 9

Love is determined by action not silly over-used words. He is obviously tired for doing too much too soon. What man in his right mind wants 3 kids at age 21????????? Move on.

Answer 10

Think of his age you guys have been together since he was 16 and you were 20? He was way too young to begin with.