About 2 years ago, it was brought to my attention that my husband had a relationship with a man right before we met. When I confronted him about it, he of course denied it. It's been haunting me ever since. Just recently, the man he supposedly was with, emailed me that we needed to talk, and that I knew what it was about. I never new his name but had my suspisions of who it was. And I was right. He pretty much confirmed everything that I had heard, and then some. Supposedly, they've been together a few times since we've been married. I don't know this guy from a hole in the wall, but I've questioned my husband on more than one occasion about this and he denies it every time. I'm not sure where to go from here. How do I investigate this to know for sure who is telling me the truth. My husband is a liar, I know that. But is the other guy telling me the truth? I don't know anyone that knows him enough to varify anything about him and how he opperates. What do I do?
2007-11-05 13:21:59 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Maybe your husband hasn't accepted the fact that he is bi or gay. I once was there, married, seeing a guy on the side- by the grace of god I never got an STD or HIV that I could have given my wife.
Your biggest fear should be HIV and STD's. if he's having sex with another man or men is he using protection? Most guys don't think about getting an STD or HIV let alone giving it to a wife- but it only takes one time and you could have a gift that will never go away. You should have a full STD/HIV screening and IF you are still having sex with your husband insist he's using condom's until he gets tested. WIth HIV there ia a 3 month window peroid ao even if he tested negative, use condom's for another 3 month and insist he retests.
No body can tell you want to do, IF you have the chance to talk to the "other man" again, get specifics, ask if he knows about a birthmark or mole that isn't visable- that will confirm your concern. They you need to think about what you need/want.
Good Luck
2007-11-05 14:52:37 · answer #1 · answered by flowerman 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He is telling you the truth, the truth of the matter is I am sure he is bi and hiding it. Can you live with this or not that is the big big issue here. If not then leave before it gets too complicated, a relationship based on lies will only hurt you in the end. Get out while you can.
2007-11-05 21:26:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems the more important question is why is your husband being unfaithful to you? If what you have been told is true, then he is cheating on you just as much as if he were seeing some other woman. He might be bi or he might be gay.
Either way he is cheating. If you love him enough, demand counseling and see if you can work this out with him.
2007-11-06 00:14:40 · answer #3 · answered by marystoy_2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have to use your best judgement here. Obviously you can't really trust anyone in the situation. Something is clearly going on or this wouldn't be coming up, right? So approach him, give him the opportunity to come clean (as in, "I know that something's going on, here's your chance to tell me what..."). If he doesn't, then you should leave.
2007-11-05 21:31:23 · answer #4 · answered by Miss Brown 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Time to demand some real honesty. Let your husband know that you want to go to counseling and you expect complete honesty. What you have to ask yourself is, "What am I going to do once I know the truth?" Think about it.
2007-11-05 21:28:02 · answer #5 · answered by Delta D 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
this story is just like brokeback mountain "im just going on a fishing trip" and hes actually having it off with a guy. I'm afraid to say but it sounds as if he likes men :(
2007-11-05 21:27:41 · answer #6 · answered by towninthemorning 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow gurl it sounds like some drama time for some hair to be pulled. But really I woudn't trust that other guy because he probably wants your husband back.
2007-11-05 21:27:11 · answer #7 · answered by Matra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋