I married this man a little over 3 mths ago, and dont get me wrong but i do love him, and his daughter which is 8 yrs old, but i am feelin at my wits end, his WHOLE life revolves around his daughter, hes on the verge of superoverprotector-he just got a new trk and guess wht this is his daughters, shes a great child, spoiled, but shes great. I hve tried to leave sev times but keep going bak some rsn, also her mom is here and we get along good, so no conflict there. I am so depressed abt this, now my hubby wont be intimate with me-fyi---hes 42 and im 22, i hve needs, and he refuses to be intimate becuz he says i snore at nite, and is punishing me frm having a bad attitude, but if u lived with him u would hve a bad attitude also!!! I am wanting to get a plce of my own, but im having a hrd time affording it, i just got a new job 2 mths ago, so im tryin to get on my ft, and mve, but i dont know if im doin the rite thing, im married but SO LoneLy : ( Please n e advice appreciated...
2007-11-05 12:58:04 · 17 answers · asked by alleybug_2003 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i married becuz i WAS married and got a divorce and thought wow this is the man of my dreams, he was awesome when met, his ex wife says he did the same with her, abt the sex, i feel like crying. my parents live abt an hour away, my other fam make me feel like a burden, and that SUX, any one here live in arkansas area, looking for a roomate??? just kiddin im tryin to find a room for rent or soemthing, but we'll c how that goes. and the reason i wont leave my job, is becuz its got awesome py and advncemnt oppurtunities! I found out saturday he was married before and did the same exact thing 2 times! So im # 3 wife! i was raised that marraige was important, i know i have been married 2 times, but the 1st guy was my highschool sweetheart and we were kids, and divorced a year ago. i think i really just need me time....
2007-11-05 13:11:31 · update #1
is there anyone out there that will love mem for me??? im just a lil curvy and sweet to everyone and i snore....email me...i need someone to talk to...im so lonely i could cry
2007-11-05 13:19:04 · update #2
A lot of people would say, GET OUT... but if you truly love him I would suggest counselling. Sounds like there's a whole lot going on here and I don't think you're going to find your answer on Yahoo... sorry hun, but you need to seek professional help.
2007-11-05 13:03:50 · answer #1 · answered by Angie_B3 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like he just married you for a babysitter....sorry if that hurts; but, sometimes it's best to accept the pain the truth offers...cut your losses and move on...unless he really wants to reconcile (doubt it).
You snore..like that that's a conscious action you should be held accountable for??? He's just making excuses for not honoring his commitment...to have and to hold....love, cherish..etc.
Get to know the guy a lot longer before you get married next time (if?)...I'm sure there were warning signs of this before marriage...that's why it's also a good idea not to sleep with someone before you get married...it clouds the judgement...yearning for intimacy causes everyone (almost) to ignore the red flags that pop up about a prospective spouse...
I hope you find a nice young man closer to your own age and interests to share the rest of your life with....I know this isn't pleasant; but, if you learn from the mistakes made here, it will not be in vain.
2007-11-05 13:11:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did you just start snoring? If not, he married you knowing that you snored and he didn't have a problem being intimate now. He's not being honest about his feeling. Either he is upset with you because you and his daughter doesn't get along or his feeling have changed.
Either way ask him....flat out "What's wrong"? How long did you date before you got married?
He's feeding you some BS, something has changed and he owes it to you to tell you what it is.
2007-11-05 13:10:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would leave. He punished you for snoring? I think that this is just a preview of what the rest of your life will be like. What is he going to take away when he really gets mad at you. You are not a child that needs a time out. Cut the ties once and for all and go.
2007-11-05 13:50:05 · answer #4 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you would be better off out of that relationship. Sounds like he hasn't let go of his previous one. You are so stressed now. I can see it in your words. Maybe get a second job and stay out of the house longer. Save the money up to get your own place, even if it's not that great of a place. If you can find a friend or a relative that can put you up until you are able to stand on your own, then call them. The important thing is to get out of what you're in now. You don't need that, nor do you need him treating you like that. Find someone who can appreciate you and what you have to offer more. Don't waste anymore love on him.
2007-11-05 13:07:00 · answer #5 · answered by randmthots 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not going to get into the why's of marrying him, but do you have anywhere else you can stay? If not,then maybe you could take some money from your job every week & put it away where he couldn't find it so you have something to live off of when you do leave. He is playing mental games with you (not to mention he is 20 years older with 20 years more experience than you).
2007-11-05 13:04:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he refuses because you snore are you sure he's not 10. That's a stupid reason. If you have to move back home save your money then get a place of your own. While your doing this slap him with divorce papers. If he acts like that he doesn't deserve someone like you. You can find someone whe will treat you like you should be treated.
2007-11-05 13:08:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you need to get out when you can. If you can't afford it right now then save money at your own pace until you can leave. You don't need someone withholding affection...that's verging on mental abuse!
Anyway, you're only 22. It may not seem like it, but you're so young and you have your whole future in front of you. Be determined, and with time you can leave and do what you need to do.
2007-11-05 13:07:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get out ASAP as you are still very young and outgoing while he wants to be an old fuddy duddy. They say age diffence doesn't matter but in the long run, it does. Just look at your predicament now. You are young enough to start a family but he is getting older and won't want anymore. Just DITCH him, he makes me mad. You are a hell of a lot better person than him.
2007-11-05 13:15:16 · answer #9 · answered by Ms Angel 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
divorce him
don't use the excuse of lack of money either
you have firends or family do you not?
then do it tomorrow
serve him
and leave
a spoiled child is not a nice child
they have their flaws since the child will believe they are entitled to everything
so get it out of your head that his daughter is perfect
she is not
and this is what you get when you marry someone with such an age difference
unless your are a filipina, it generally does not work out with such extreme age differences
2007-11-05 13:04:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋