Ok, so there's this married guy I work with. He flirted with me a few times, stares at me when I'm not looking, and I notice him come by my office more than usual. To me, that hinted that he might possibly like me and so I started falling for him.
However, when we're in the same room, he walks out or is gone before I even know it. Why is he avoiding me like that? Is it because 1) he likes me and knows it's wrong, 2) is it because he likes me and just is intimidated by me or 3) he doesn't like me?
Am I taking this too personally?
2007-11-05 12:45:25 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This guy is MARRIED . That means he has promised to love, honor and cherish only the person he made those vows to and that isn't you. Men are visual and so no matter how old or young they are they are going to look. You reacting to his obvious notice means that a woman other than his wife can still see him as a sexual being, but it does not mean that he is interested in cheating on his wife. Move on girl. This guy is taken.
2007-11-05 12:53:22 · answer #1 · answered by Mama Mia 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you know whats best for you, stay FAR away! It sounds to me that you need to really find out what marriage MEANS. There's a huge price to pay for adultery. Read proverbs 5 in the bible. If you don't understand it then get someone to explain. Adultery is a HUGE sin. Don't take it lightly. Think also about if they have children. Do you have any awareness whatsoever as to the pain involved in that. Nobody would intentionally hurt a child, but the pain caused by this, that IS TOTALLY AVOIDABLE, causes their lives to change considerably. If you don't avoid him for your own sake, then at least don't hurt the children. Learn about marriage. If for whatever reason you two do get yourselves involved, expect some very serious consequences to your actions. God loves us all and knows exactly when to allow for disipline and correction. Don't get dis-illusioned by this. Nothing but trouble and lots of pain in the end for EVERYONE involved, mostly you and the lusty one. Get your head on straight girl. There's lots of un-married men that you could see, long or short term, and be happier, with no quilty pain to deal with. Be a winner, not a LOSER!
2007-11-05 15:28:11 · answer #2 · answered by Dorothy G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're reading more into it than what is there which in the future, has the potential to cause a multitude of problems for you, your co workers, him, and his family not to mention both of your jobs!
1) He is a man, he is going to "look" at you when you're not looking. Maybe he finds you attractive, maybe you had a stain, who knows point is he's a man and men usually look at
members of the oppistate sex. So taking a look when he doesn't think you're looking means absolutly nothing.
2) A lot of men flirt. Whether married, attached, single or other, especially if they have a flirtacious personality. Two things to consider about this apparent flirting that you noticed A) It's very possible that he was NOT flirting with you and you misunderstood his friendly demeanor for flirting. Maybe "thats just how he is" with everyone, but perhaps if you aren't used to that in a man and the only time a guy really engages in friendly talk with you is when he's flirting then you could have easily mistaken this mans intentions, he was probably just being nice.
B) It's also very possible that he WAS flirting, but it truly means nothing to him. Some men are just flirts~ especailly with their co workers. I don't know why, but they are... My husband is one of those men and trust me I'm no stranger to women "assumming" that my hubby's flirting is an invitaion for some secret love affair.
3) The fact that he started comming by your office more also means nothing (especially since you were already looking for clues as to whether he liked you or not) Your mind's eye just probably started picking up on him more so therefore you noticed things that always were, they just never stood out to you before. Or maybe he had reason to start dropping by your office more, or maybe its just coincidence.
Bottom line he probably doesn't have any sort of "special" feelings for you and from the details you've given it appears you are taking it WAY too personally. Best advice I can give you is STOP falling for him NOW or you could end up in a world of hurt. It could be true, maybe he does have a thing for you...now what? He's married, are you going to want to start an affair with him and pick at his wife's scraps? I certainly hope you value yourself more than that... I'll spare you all the lines married men use to bed down their"other women" but its usually along the lines of "I'm not Happy" "Only there for the kids" "My wife doesn't have sex with me anymore" "we are getting divorced" Those seem to be the most popular lies and statistcly speaking married men VERY SELDOM leave their wives for the other woman especially when there's kids involved...though he may tell you that he will. Spare yourself the heartache, you'll be the only one with "feeling" for him (besides his wife) and to him the "realtionship" will only serve a sexual purpose. Also do you really want to be part to blame if this goes any farther and a family ends up getting ripped apart and destroyed not to mention the pain his wife would be put threw.
You have a lot to think about including yourself, your life and your fellow woman. Why on earth would you want to sleep with another woman's man and cause her so much pain??
Maybe he likes you and knows its wrong and he doesn't want it to go further and thats why he avoids you... nothing wrong with that so don't push. Swallow your pride, dry up your pants, think with the right brain and find a single guy. Unfortunatly whether this one likes you or not, whether you like him or not 1) He is married and is some womens (his wife) dream, probably her entire world who are you to destroy that? 2) Should you consider to keep going with this you will end up used and hurt. What woman in her right mind or with an ounce of dignity puts herself in that situation?
3) There's more than enough single guys out there, don't waste your life on a guy with ZERO potential.
4) Karmas real and it comes back to bite you
5) He's your co worker...even if he was single workplace dating is its own recipe for disaster
6) He's married and he's hands off so get over yourself
Good luck
2007-11-06 03:09:10 · answer #3 · answered by busymum 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you even be interested in someone else's man? He goes home to his wife and what if they have kids? Do you want to be known as the woman that took daddy away? Do you even have any morals? i know that you cant take someone away ..they have to be willing but what if he does like you and you start seeing him? Do you have something between your legs that no other woman has? Do you honestly think that he would not cheat on you?! And he may start thinking that if you were with him while he was married you obviously dont take marriage seriously and may cheat on him. There is no happy ending to this Fairy Tale!
2007-11-05 14:40:49 · answer #4 · answered by bella s 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just let it go. Stop dwelling on a married man. Maybe he did flirt with you because he thought it was fun, and feels like he took it too far and is now avoiding you. You shouldn't have fallen for a married man to begin with, it never ends up going well for anyone.
2007-11-05 13:29:02 · answer #5 · answered by Zyggy 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Avoid this man whenever possible. He's MARRIED, afterall. Not only do you not want to be "the other woman", but it'd be hurtful to his wife..and remember: If he'd cheat on his wife with YOU, then he'll probably turn around and CHEAT on you as well. Honestly, do you really want to be with a guy that'd be that immoral? Beware.
2007-11-05 12:55:27 · answer #6 · answered by :-) 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Slow your roll. lady. You said that he HINTED that he MIGHT... POSSIBLY... LIKE... you and you started falling for him. Why? A lot of people MIGHT POSSIBLY LIKE you. Don't fall for all of them.
And, he is off limits for a couple of reasons: 1) He's married and (2) He's your co-worker.
Class up and try to remember not to play and work in the same place...and the only married man for you is the one you will marry some day. Remember that.
But slow your roll.
2007-11-05 12:59:19 · answer #7 · answered by CoCo220 D 3 · 3⤊ 2⤋
he probably doesn't spend alot of time around you because he knows your dangerous to him and his family. know this sweetie they never leave their wifes--very rarely--especially if they have kids. even if she finds out about the 2 of you she's likely to forgive him. he's probably not getting a lot of attention around the house and guess what you give him that. and make him feel sexy by your obvious appreciation of him. be careful! be very careful sweetie people get weird when it comes to their family ( with good reason) and you should really think hard before going there, more than likely he'll just break your heart.
2007-11-05 13:29:15 · answer #8 · answered by Debbie A 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
this guy is trying to decide whether or not he wants to cheat on his wife! Keep a lot of distance and find someone who is not married because any married man who would get too involved with you would play around even if he were to get a divorce to be with you. there has to be single men around in this world somewhere that you will meet and make you a lot happier.
Good Luck to you!!
2007-11-05 12:55:09 · answer #9 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It doesn't matter what his intentions are. He's married. You need to get away from the thoughts of having anything to do with him , thats more than being just co-workers or friends. Stay out of other peoples marraiges.
2007-11-05 13:11:07 · answer #10 · answered by The Wižard 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋