My husband use to be a womanizer. He went to strip clubs and bars to flirt with woman. Since we married he seems to have changed. I'm just wondering deep down is he really capable of changing these habits? or is he doing them without me knowing? We have a 3year old and planning to have another baby. I really need someon's opinion.
2007-11-05 12:27:18 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I did get married to him knowing his history. Recently he's been going out for a drink with his co-worker/friend. I'm worried this could spark off bad habits again.
2007-11-05 12:40:26 · update #1
I was with my hubby for 22 years. He started cheating when our son was born. I was very nieve and always had one reason or another to take him back. It's been a very emotional rocky road I've traveled, only to end up filing for divorce. Lookig back, I would of been so much happier without him, this I know. Don't get caught up with all the lies. Get yourself some help to catch him. If you find out he's cheating, DON'T hesitate to get rid of him or you'll go through some(or many) serious trials in the future, I don't care how much he says or shows his love for you. Men don't really think about love, they think about sex, but the keepers are the one's that will think about the respect they have for their wives, and get far away from temptation, before they're drawn in. If you think he's a player, then don't take any chances. He could bring home more than just the bacon..... if you know what I mean.
I suggest you visit cheaters.com. Also you can navigate his cell phone with gps service. Call the cell phone provider, they'll fill you in. I did this to my husband & found out plenty. You can check his where-abouts any time, using your home computer, after you've activated his cell phone ( as long as his phone is kept on). Don't assume his where-abouts. If he's anything like my "soon to be" ex, he's a damn good liar. Don't be fooled and don't settle for less cause the only one you can blame in the end is yourself, if you don't take the responsiblity for your own life and happiness. He may be your hubby, but he's a man and they don't think like women do. It may seem weird at first, like your invading his privacy or you may feel like your one of those overly possesive wives, but let me tell you something, this is the #1 way that men (and women) are caught cheating these days. Thanks to good-ol technology, hey! Don't be afraid either. Better to know the truth sooner, than to look back on alot of time spent in vein with him. Don't be taken for a fool and don't pretend he's not capable. You know as well as I, men cheat. Yes women do too, but their not real women, otherwise they'd end a relationship before they got involved in another. Their usually insecure and feel they can't be alone. Insecurity causes lots of problems for women if we don't deal with it and get past it(read "co-dependant no more"). I mention women but men can be just as insecure. Good luck to ya honey.
2007-11-05 16:01:57 · answer #1 · answered by Dorothy G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I echo asking if you can join him after work for the drink.
Also, make sure you take care of his needs. I know with young children it can be tough, but knowing his past, you should be aware that he will act on his needs if they aren't being met at home. If you don't get babysitters often, get one and go out. If you have family or a close friend, leave the child with them and go out for an overnight or weekend getaway.
Just because he occasionally goes out for a drink doesn't mean he is doing anything wrong, but it also means he could end up in a position where he could...make sure he knows he'll be happier when he gets home! If meeting him for drinks isn't an option, call him while he is out and say something naughty to him to entice him home sooner.
2007-11-05 20:53:02 · answer #2 · answered by Curious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
going to strips clubs and flirting does not make him a womanizer
sleeping with women and telling them he loves them and using them does
but yes going out to bars for drink can very well lead to such behavior
at least you acknowledge you married poorly in accepting him as your husband
now you must right your wrong by divorcing him
2007-11-05 21:01:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to spy and find out don't wait tell you have a lot of kids and then walk in on him that is just plain silly most of the time people don't really change from cheating they just learn how to hide it better so i think all people need to spy and make sure cause if he is not then at least you will know the truth.
good luck
2007-11-05 20:57:11 · answer #4 · answered by daisy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Worst adddiction, I ever had,I was always able to sore with the hotties, and it is tough to stop!! It takes time,desire (to quit), love,and plenty of extreme loving at home!! Been fsithful for 14 years!! good luck
2007-11-05 22:14:08 · answer #5 · answered by happywjc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See what he says when you offer to join him after work for a drink with his friends/coworkers. If he insists no, then go anyway. See and feel his reaction. That'll tell you something.
2007-11-05 20:47:35 · answer #6 · answered by Becky J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Beth,
Well you married the man knowing his history so why is it different now?? Did he do something to make you think he's reverting back to his old ways?? Please communicate to him how you are feeling...Communication is #1 in a relationship! Good luck :o)
2007-11-05 20:32:22 · answer #7 · answered by Dee31 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Its probably in your head, why don't you ask him instead of putting your business out in a public forum.
2007-11-05 20:44:10 · answer #8 · answered by zrunner04 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tslk to him... there r man that r womanizer but chnaged when they got married to someone they trully love
2007-11-05 21:39:49 · answer #9 · answered by angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
did you find evidence of something wrong? or are you just having doubts now?
2007-11-05 20:35:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋