Any advice for kids dealing with divorce?

Question

I am 11 and this is not a typical divorce. My parents REALLY do not get along. They cannot be in the same room with each other for more than 10 mins.I have not been to my dad house in about a year. he is not able to maintain cleanlyness in his home so child sevices wil not let me go to his house. Child sevices interviews me once and a while. I am a total daddys girl, but my parents really put me on the spot when I have to go to court with them. in 3rd and 4th grade I missed several days of school do to court and stuff. i have told my mom about this and she does feel bad but there is nothing she can do. please give advice! And yes, I do see a phycologist and my school guidance counselor.

My dad is a good father, to all you creeps who are saying that he is a terrible man. he is depressed, and he can't help it.

Answer 1

You just have to keep your chin up and realize that what your going through is not your fault. If you are a daddy's girl, then it is obvious that he has been doing his duty as a father. I know there might seem like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, but eventually things will work themselves out. Have faith and do your best to show both parents you love them equally. Especially, if both are good parents. As far as your dad's cleanliness is concerned. Tell him to put on an apron and grab a duster or hire a maid.

Answer 2

Faith,

You have to remember the divorce isn't your fault. I know you want to believe it is......but it isn't. I think what you need to do is tell your physiologist that you want to have a meeting with both your mom and dad and the physiologist. Then, being as strong as you can tell them what you wrote here. A 11 year old child shouldn't have to go through all this.
I know you are a daddy's girl.....and that is fine. But you can't fix whatever is wrong with your parents. The best thing you can do is to tell them how much they are hurting you with their behavior.
I saw my step daughter go through the same thing when she was your age. She tried to protect both her parents and fix them as well. All it did was cause more problems for her until she asked me to step in. By that time she was 18.
Now be brave and tell your parents how much they are hurting you. But remember that they both love you.

Answer 3

I would say that the most important thing is to have a relationship with BOTH parents.

I am an adult child of divorce and one of the greatest gifts my Mom gave me, was to promote my relationship with my Dad.

The Courts drag things out, so just concentrate on being happy and enjoy what each parent contributes to your happiness. .

Answer 4

cling out with your little brother and notice how he could experience with regard to the divorce and enable him understand which you're consistently going to be by way of his part no rely what occurs. Ya'll being close will advise a lot to him by means of fact he's going to wish somebody to anticipate. enable that individual be you.

Answer 5

you seem like a bright kid.. stay strong. your parents are selfish for making you go through all the court crap.
that's a shame that he's such a slob that he will not clean up so he can see you.. he sounds like he's really depressed or something like that, but child services should help him get straightened out so you CAN see him. a kids should have TWO parents...

Answer 6

Sounds like your getting put in the middle of their feud.

Sit them down and tell them with another responsible grown up present that it ends NOW!

The Rat

Answer 7

Do what I did. I refused to go to the court hearings. He wasn't interested in me so why should I bother.

Answer 8

it is NOT your fault. This is between your parents. Always remember that.