He's been lying. I kicked him out for a couple of days to give him an out if he needed it. I agreed to not have the same argument which was about him lying if he agreed to be honest in counseling. So he came back. And is still lying. He has lied about looking at porn (which really isn't even a big deal to me. my only problem is that he lied about it.) He lied about talking to "a friend" on the phone that he has known since middle school. He said he only sent her a message saying that she looked good in her pics because she just broke up with her boyfriend. After I confronted him, he said he changed his email for myspace because he was trying to cancel it and needed to get a notification and couldn't remember his password to his current email, but I pressed forgot password, it sent his new pass word to his same email. I can't stand being lied to. He says he loves me. My father did about the same thing and my parents ended up divorced. I don't want to wait 20 yrs to divorced
2007-11-05 12:16:34 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
one kid. one on the way.
2007-11-05 12:24:27 · update #1
Got kids? If so, go to counselling and do whatever you can to fix your marriage.
No kids? Up to you.
2007-11-05 12:19:41 · answer #1 · answered by Mike 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Let me see if I have this. He said one thing and you didn't like the answer so you pressed hima dn he changed his story. Another issue, same response from you same from him. etc. etc. etc.
Heck, I wouldn't tell you the truth either. You won't believe it anyway. How do you know it wasn't the truth then a lie?
You say you don't want to wait 20 years to get divorced, then by all means put it on the fast track and get divorced now. You won't be happy until the divorce is final anyway.
2007-11-05 12:41:01 · answer #2 · answered by Randy 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Obviously there is a problem. But the real question here is, do you still love him? Are you willing to do what it takes to get him help and make your marriage work or are you finished?
Counseling can always help IF both parties are willing to let it.
He needs help. Try to, either by talking to him, or through counseling, get to the real reason that he feels like he has to lie. Is it b/c he is just a compulsive liar or is it b/c in the past you have made him, for whatever reason, feel like he has to lie in order to keep from fighting or whatever.
I would try counseling, but only if you both are willing to give it a good and HONEST try.
2007-11-05 12:22:48 · answer #3 · answered by Lindsay G 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I'm sure you've told him this but really sit down and tell him you would rather him tell you the truth and it be an answer you don't like than have him lie to you. Give counseling a try but if not call it quits. I agree why live miserably for a long time and then get divorced.
2007-11-05 12:20:58 · answer #4 · answered by chillinginchicago 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I wish I could tell you that there is a way to change him, but the truth is it's not likely to happen. Even when I thought my ex was being honest, he was lying. I regret wasting 22 yrs. trying to make an honest man out of him. The only one we can change is ourselves.
2007-11-05 12:55:47 · answer #5 · answered by bonnieboobabe 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't bother if he lies to u now then he will lie in counceling and he'll get his way u deserve some 1 who isn't going to be a jerk to u. Find a guy who RESPECTS u. and he says he loves u who knows if he is lieing about that?Think about it u r oging to be miserable if u continue to be with him. And it is eventually going to get u 2 the point where u urself is going to be in a counselers office b/c u r losing ur mind. Don't put urself through it every body deserves to be happy.
2007-11-05 12:23:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
You should try counseling only so you don't have to wonder, years down the road, when you are old, decrepit, and alone, if it would have worked or not. Seriously, this guy is lying to cover up lies. Only you can answer if it's worth it or not.
2007-11-05 12:23:45 · answer #7 · answered by colder_in_minnesota 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Well, before you settle on divorce...maybe you should separate and try the counseling. Be clear with him that you will not put up with this behavior and constant lying.
If after six months nothing's changed, then maybe you should file for divorce and move on with your life. I give you props for being smart and standing up for yourself and the future. Alot of women make up excuses and just put up with it.
2007-11-05 12:21:15 · answer #8 · answered by darkening_hope 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think that you both need to separate for a while ---you both need a time out. But, you both need counseling to find out if there is any chance of saving your marriage. However, it takes two to make it work--he needs to show some active desire to make your marriage work. Don't give up too quickly.
2007-11-05 12:43:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It doesn't sound good. BUT! if you have a child on the way, go to counselling. Do everything you can. I would give it a year, and hopefully things change.
2007-11-05 12:52:45 · answer #10 · answered by DesignDiva1 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋