my mom and dad have been divorced for about 4 years now
i dont think it was my fault
they are still friends
i see my dad every other weekend but
he has a fiance
they want to have kids but my dad already has 4 kids including me
i think its really selfish of them to have kids
is that wrong?
2007-11-05 12:06:21 · 9 answers · asked by lillyisverysilly 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ok i know its his life but he chose to have kids and we are part of it
2007-11-05 12:16:19 · update #1
1st it is NOT your fault. 2nd he can have as many kids as he likes.
Believe it or not, you may like it. He will NEVER love the child more than you, if that's what you're worried about. People have enough love to go around for everyone.
2007-11-05 12:58:37 · answer #1 · answered by DesignDiva1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK as long as he can afford them it is OK for him to have more kids but, if it is taking from his first kids then know he needs to know he can afford more kids and not take out of the other kids he had first. as for the part of you being selfish no that is not the problem you are just feeling a threat feeling and not understanding is part of being a kid believe me i had 2 step kids and 4 of my own it can work and you can find love for the new brother and sisters but, it will take time just try having an open mind on it and if he does decide and do it what can you really do about it don't throw away a new sibling just try to be opened minded OK good luck wish the best for you
2007-11-05 12:50:37 · answer #2 · answered by daisy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry you had to go through a divorce. It is never pretty.
Your dad is a person, just like you. Him leaving your mom had NOTHING to do with you. Please know that.
If your dad wants to remarry and have more kids, that has nothing to do with being selfish, it is just like when your dad married your mom. They love each other and want kids.
Look at the bright side....you will have more brothers and sisters (even though only half-brothers and sisters).
Please talk to your dad and tell him how you feel.
2007-11-05 12:12:40 · answer #3 · answered by Richard F 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with having children as long as you can afford them and the marriage is sound. Perhaps subconsciously, you don't think they should have more children because that is the start of a second family that might also not work out, or perhaps you may think that this is another person to compete with your father for his affection. You can talk to your father about this but I am sure it is nothing to worry about as long as he can afford to support all of you. My mother had 7 boys from 3 marriages and we all turned out fine.
2007-11-05 12:22:47 · answer #4 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its totally understandable for you to be feelin that way...you need your dad and you wouldn't want to be sharin him with other kids..my best friend's parents are divorced as well and her dad has also married someone else and is thinkin about havin kids. i know how hard it must be for you...but you know what, you can't do anythin' abt it. hes movin on with his life and so should you. its very easy to say that cuz everyone needs a father in their lives. but how long are you gonna sit there and wait for him to listen to you and not to have any more kids. he should be thinkin' abt it rather than you. you don't just keep on havin kids. you gotta take responsibility for them. you gotta be there for them. if your dad really cares and loves you, he would be thinkin abt you first..
2007-11-05 12:17:07 · answer #5 · answered by Joanne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always thought it was important to discuss a decision to have more children with the children. Not!!!
A few weeks before my wife died from cancer, she told me that her only regret was that we never had a child together. First, I had no idea that she felt that way. Second, I thought it was impractical since I have had a vasectomy and she had a tubal (both sugeries before we met). It leaves only one emotion behind....regret. Do you want your father to regret a major part of his life so you can push your feelings off on your father? Very mature.
2007-11-05 12:49:32 · answer #6 · answered by Randy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no cause there nothing wrong with ur dad having kids long as he is taking care of them u are mostly upset that he is with this other woman when u really deep down want him and ur mom back together but i can understand that
2007-11-05 12:10:17 · answer #7 · answered by J R 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is it's selfish of you to not want them to.
2007-11-05 12:12:56 · answer #8 · answered by TheMightyOne 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
nooop. He has the right to redirect his life;it's his life, not yours.
2007-11-05 12:14:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋