I have been with my husband for almost 3 years now. We just got married 5 months ago and 2 weeks after he got up one morning went to work and never came home. I knew where he was and what he was doing( partying, drugs, sex with another,crimes,ect.). Recently he was arrested for 3 felonies and still sits in jail. He sends word to me that he wants to see me and would I go visit him. When I go visit him he expresses that he wants to work things out and get back together, he is sorry for what he did and blames the drugs for his actions. During our seperation I started seeing someone from my past that I was very comfortable with and really cared for alot. I don't know what to do. I love my husband very much but I care for this other man too. What should I do?
2007-11-05 12:05:41 · 25 answers · asked by marcy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think it's pretty plain on what you should do. Your husband has shown you how much he cared for you and the marriage.
Your mind knows that it's time to move on, so go with it.
2007-11-05 12:12:20 · answer #1 · answered by darkening_hope 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Most likely, he will be in jail for a while. I don't know if he can truly change. It's easy to place the blame on the drugs, but the real blame is on himself. He needs to acknowledge that and not use the drugs as an excuse. Do you think you can wait for him? Do you believe that he will change? Will you have to go through this again in the future? These are questions that you must ask yourself. Then decide what you really want.
2007-11-05 20:17:35 · answer #2 · answered by randmthots 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, your husband is a felon who went off on a drug and sex binge while you waited at home. Now he's in jail and sober, of course he's sorry. Everyone in jail is sorry, and reaches out for whoever will help them.
On the other hand, you have someone who you really care for. And chances are, he's a better man than your husband. I'd get a divorce and go for him.
Let me tell you, your husband will be right back on the drugs when he gets out of jail. I know this from experience. Move on and save yourself the grief.
2007-11-05 20:10:55 · answer #3 · answered by Eraserhead 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
love is a tough thing that can tear families apart for whatever reason. given ur situation, I suggest that u should weigh ur options on if ur marriage is going to keep sustaining these types of blows (ie. felonies, cheatings, etc). Then look at the other guy and what he has to offer? Is it stable or what? It might even be best to take some time away from both of them and really think this one over. face it, with three felonies, he will probobly be behind bars for quite some time. U have needs too so think about that!
kevin
2007-11-05 20:40:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what you can to work or end things with your husband before you start another relationship. YOu don't want to be labeled as a cheater.
What your husband did was so wrong on so many levels but if you are still married you have to fix/finish things first.
Good luck
2007-11-05 20:30:02 · answer #5 · answered by Lindsay G 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Anyone who brings that amount of toxicity into your relationship is only going to hurt you. I'd ditch the husband. This has all happened for a reason. People come back into your life for a reason and LOOK! Conveniently at a time when your husband was gone.
Think about that...
2007-11-05 20:15:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i went through the same thing. i had 2 kids with my ex and he was on drugs ect. so i moved on. i wrote him the 'dear john' letter and told him that i had to move on for the sake of my children. he and i were supposed to get married. we bought marriage license and the day we had planned our wedding he never came home the night before and ended up disappeared fro about 3 months. to much water under the bridge. have you heard that? sometimes you just have to move on. write him the letter. and move away where he can't find you when he gets out. my ex would get locked up and say the same things to me and when he would get out he would have sex with me then go running to his other love...drugs. i told him that every time he ran off that he was cheating on me with the drugs. so i finally took the opportunity to run when he went to prison the last time. he was gone for 6 yrs and just got out about 2 months ago. he still wants me and he swears this time he is different. but it's to late now. i married someone and had more kids. i even tattooed my husbands name on me to insure my ex that i wasn't leaving my new man for him.
hope this helps.
they never change.
move on... you deserve better.
2007-11-05 20:16:12 · answer #7 · answered by neverlie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will give you a very BLUNT answer -- Sounds to me like you need to seriously seek out professional help to sort things out before you make ANY decisions.
You need to understand WHY you settled for this guy in the first place and second, WHY you would EVER consider dumping him so quickly for someone from your past.
Look in the Yellow Pages under "Mental Health" and make an appointment to go in and talk to someone who is trained to sort it all out
You need to understand WHY you make such poor choices in men.
Good Luck and God Bless you dear
2007-11-05 20:18:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do Not go near the husband! He is bad news. Cut your losses (which is actually a gain in this case) while you can. Do Not look back!
Run girl! Run for the hills!
2007-11-05 21:01:18 · answer #9 · answered by DesignDiva1 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In any other case i do not believe in adultery and i still do not, your husband lied #1, and #2 he is in jail, which he put his self their because he wasn't telling you the truth. So my dear ask your self what you want to live with. Wasn't much help but,, good luck
2007-11-05 20:13:38 · answer #10 · answered by sweetemtation_123 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋