Say you have a relative or a friend who just doesn`t have a clue..they don`t work, they end up on the streets or in jail over and over, they quit every job they work at or sabotage their life in general and then complain that nobody helps them or cares about them. What do you do?
2007-11-05 10:11:39 · 15 answers · asked by Smiley 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
All of your answers are very good..or at least thought provoking! I think it is time to turn her loose!
2007-11-06 19:27:13 · update #1
You cannot help someone who won't help themselves.
At first you can, but when it's obvious that they are not going to even try, you end up making them worse.
Sadly you have to let them go for a while & hope they learn when they hit rock bottom.
We all have a responsibility to try and help ourselves to improve, change or adapt .
Like the old saying,"God helps those who help themselves".
Tough love is another name for it. Still love the person, but we all are responsible for our own behaviour.
Hope this helps.
2007-11-05 10:29:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I considered this as totally lost case! I have one relative is exactly like what you have described. He would never change to be a better person but I still help him. From an outsider, he is useless and not worth the effort but our bonding is so strong that everytime when he needed help, i would say to myself..oh what next?
2007-11-06 01:08:31 · answer #2 · answered by ANDERSON P 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Stop helping them for one - by helping them you are enabling them to continue being what they are and feeling that they can blame you.
Tell them - once - as calmly as possible what their problem is - and why you are no longer able to keep putting yourself out all the time to help them.
Then stop.
It is very, very hard. But it is the only way they will ever stand a chance to break the reliance/blame culture they have built around themselves.
2007-11-05 18:17:16 · answer #3 · answered by Hedge Witch 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I've got that problem right now.My daughter is a drug addict/ prostitute. She's 22 so I can't tell her how to live her life, and she doesn't want help from anyone.
All I can do is pray for her : the Lord gives, and He takes away.Once He gave me a beautiful daughter, I'm giving her back to Him.
My heart goes out to you, your question is word perfect for how she is.
I will always be here for her.
2007-11-05 18:29:26 · answer #4 · answered by Cyclops 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You'll just have to be strict with him/her, tell them the facts and if they don't like it, say to them your only saying because you care you've got there best interest at heart. Encourage this person to find a new job and stick to it, go out with them abit more so they no your making an effort and might feel abit happier, but if they don't appreiciate it then say i've tried my best with you to help and you no i have but your just wasting my time x
2007-11-05 18:22:50 · answer #5 · answered by DiamondDutchy69 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Some people can't be helped. It's not your fault; maybe it's not even their fault. It's just how it is.
But most people eventually grow up and notice that they're tired of living like sub-humans; then they have a chance.
Good luck to both of you.
2007-11-05 18:24:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can't. If you do, you are just enabling them to repeat their unhealthy behavior patterns. They need to learn from life's lessons. Unfortunately it's the hard way, but you're not helping them by helping them.
2007-11-05 18:18:14 · answer #7 · answered by Suen 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
theres obviously a reason why they want to go on like this. just let them workout their issues and come to terms with the social world. i was just like that, still am but i have a job now..woohooo
2007-11-05 18:20:55 · answer #8 · answered by i am jacks fingers 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sadly, you can't help someone who can't help themselves. I would say turn to the Lord in prayer and maybe He can help this person and his family sort through this.
2007-11-05 18:15:10 · answer #9 · answered by Mom 2 a boy & a girl on the way! 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
except some people are just like that and theres nothing you can say or do to change them
2007-11-05 18:16:19 · answer #10 · answered by Scott S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋