Does this marriage have a future???

Question

I am 23 years of age and have been married for only 3 months. Before I met this man I lived a different life in a different Country. I was (and still am) attracted to good looks, and guys with a lot of money. The man (32 years of age) I married is not exactly the most attractiv, but I decided not to judge by looks. It is the person I married, but he has totally changed. He earns alright, but he wastes his money on stupid things. And I can't see much of a future if he keeps on doing this. Because I am stuck with the bills. I am paying off a car. His car is a piece of sh*** and doesn't work. I am working 6 days a week nowadays, 2 different jobs and studying, and doing all the house work. All he does is work, sleep and eat. . And there is nothing happening in the bedroom. I have so many goals, like completing my studies (accounting), buying a house and having a family. But if he keeps on wasting his money like that, I don't know if this has a future. Please tell me, what do you think?

Answer 1

How long did you know this man before you married him? Well your past that now any way so let's get to the core of the problem. I'm glad you didn't judge by looks because looks as well as money can come and go. You need to sit this man down and have a talk with him and tell him that if he continues to spend the way he is he will put you both in financial ruin and since he is the one who is racking up the bills, I know your going to hate this or love it, you will be in charge of all the money including the accounts (put them in your name). Tell him you married him and expected not only a husband but a help mate and you need his help because you can't do it all on your own. You didn't mention the kind of work he does or what time he gets home at night but in my house, when I cook my husband is kind enough to wash even if that means the dishes stay in the sink till he gets home from grave yard shift! Tell him IF he wants this marriage to last he needs to help you a bit more because it's just too much for you. Yup, some men change once that ring goes on the finger! If I were you, concentrate on your schooling, that is the key to your future what ever it may hold and tell him that your future can be with him or without him. As far as helping around the house perhaps after you have your talk with him and he's willing you both can sit down and figure out how he can help. First rule of thumb in arguing, No raising voices, 2. No name calling, 3. No rough touching or pointing fingers in each other's faces! As soon as some one starts to yell so does the other then nothing gets accomplished. Good Luck and God Bless, don't give up so soon, if he's not willing to work it out....it does take two to make a marriage work.

Answer 2

If you are having this many problems with him this early on, I do not have a lot of hope for your marriage. Why did you marry him? Did you not realize all of this before ? And if you didn't, then maybe you didn't know him well enough to marry him. Be a little more picky next time about who you promise your life to. And, by the way, you have to be attracted (at least initially) to the person you marry if it is going to work.

Answer 3

I think you need to leave before you get pregnant. He seems to be the only one "receiving" anything from the relationship. You can concentrate on the accounting and make your other dreams happen with fewer jobs. That's more than a 23 y.o. should have on her plate.

Clear your head and find out what really matters in life, what's realistic, and what you need to do to change the things that weigh you down. Why should/would he change when you allow him to be whatever that is he is being.

Answer 4

karma is a ***** isn't? or is it irony? anyways you are getting the lesson that you should learn. looks and money arent everything, hell im pretty positive you aren't exactly attractive either

anyways, you don't say what "stupid" things he spends money on. if you guys live together then talk to him and have the bill split, no dont make him pay all the bills that isn't fair. thirdly you need to communicate instead of making yourself look like a victim.

thirdly, get over this money and good looks or karma will bite your butt once again.

Answer 5

in basic terms you are able to answer this question. it extremely is sweet to make it a remember of careful and insistent prayer to Jehovah God. additionally it extremely is recommended to contemplate the apostle Paul's inspired suggestions at Corinthians 7:29-37. there is not any longer something incorrect with marriage – it replaced into divinely instituted via God. nevertheless, the only man or woman – if he could make room for it – is freer to serve Jehovah God. Paul says (in verse 29) that the time left is decreased. genuinely it relatively is greater the case as we communicate than 3 days in the past, or 3 years in the past, or ten years in the past. yet in basic terms you additionally could make this determination. Make it a remember of prayer. Hannah J Paul P.S. Your English makes me smile in a heat way. do no longer worry overmuch approximately it. ok?

Answer 6

You've got more problems than I can count.. Geez.. did you know this guy BEFORE you married him? I guess what's done is done.. try talking to him and tell him how you feel. If all he does is work, eat and sleep then chances are he's not content with his life either..

Answer 7

Keep your money in a separate account and tell him you'll pay half the bills. That will help him realize how much money he's squandering.

Answer 8

sounds like you married for a green card. there is no future in your marriage. he got what he wanted: hot young wife, a maid, and someone to pay the bills.

Answer 9

Be honest and communicate your feelings and goals to him and tell him that you guys are WAYYYYY off track in reaching them and that you love him and want to change your financial future together..see if that works!

Answer 10

I think you've made a poor choice . . .. you might be attracted to good looks and lots of money but you forgot to check to see what his other values are. Quality of life, sense of humor, dependablity and responsibility.