Am I being unreasonable for wanting a little more out of sex?

Question

My husbands idea of bedroom romance can be summarised as:"in out in out in out in out in squirt squirt squirrt out snore snore snore"

Am I being unreasonable for wanting something a little more? something maybe a little "deviant"?

Answer 1

Not at all. If you'd like - email me what you have in mind.. Perhaps I can help you find ways to talk hubby into it. (email availiable in my profile)

Answer 2

only you know what is best for you and your baby. It'll be hard either way for dramatically different reasons. An unhappy family equals an unhappy baby though. I went back to work 4 weeks after delivering my daughter. She was at the babysitter's from 5:30 am until 5:15 pm, I'd get her home, feed her, cuddle her and her, my husband and I all went back to bed to start all over again. It was difficult, but on the weekends we spent every waking second with her, making sure she was well adjusted and happy. It was definitely worth it because there was no stress in the house about finances or her care, and we still spent time with her. I became a stay at home mom while I was pregnant with my son and it was a totally different world. my husband and I stress about money more often, we have a very small amount of disposable income and we fuss at each other more. It creates a little more tension in the home than we like for our kids, so we have to make a conscious effort to keep our cool and be happy. In the end, you have to do what is best for the baby, even if it's not exactly what you'd like to do. I wish you lots of luck in making this choice :)

Answer 3

You ought to leave well enough alone; cause the other stuff can land you up in a divorce, never satisfied, & maybe even sexual diseases. Court him, the way you did before you were married; fix up, smell good, fix some good drinks, & concentrate on HIM & suggest renting a few dirty movies. If he's completely a bore, you may have to move slowly & not shock him by coming on with all this too strong or fast. If you have children, take them to a baby sitter once a week, & have some time with just you & him; the expenses of having a family can be a severe on anyone's sexual drive; so you need to set aside a little time for the two of you.

Answer 4

You aren't unreasonable. You can always try to talk to him about this....but you know how men are...so here's a little 'creative' way to tell him about this so that HE will understand (men understand 'word pictures' MUCH more clearly than words).

Tomorrow morning, tell hubby that you are planning a FANTASTIC dinner. Pick his favorites (let's say he loves steak, mashed potatoes, and chocolate cake....so use those) and go on and on about how you are looking forward to dinner tonight. Don't say anything about HIM having dinner, however.

When he gets home, you should be sitting at the table eating a juicy steak, mashed potatoes, and have a big piece of chocolate cake next to you. Make SURE there is NONE for him, just dirty dishes.

When he gets upset about it, look confused. Then say "Did you want some, too, honey?" and try to look sorry and say "I'm sorry. I was so concerned about enjoying this myself I didn't think about making any for you."

Then get up, smile, and offer to heat up some leftovers.....and say "You know, you look just like I do after sex. It's so disappointing when you just worry about your own pleasure and don't take the time to make me happy, too."


He WILL get the message.

Answer 5

Most will say to talk to him. Sometimes, that is harder said than done. Why? Because of the male ego. I would suggest you write him a sexual fantasy. Vividly describe each of the the foreplay acts you want. Describe in detail what you can do for him. Give it to him, ask him to read it and see if it helps. It's a start. What ever you do, do not put him down, the male ego is very fragile. It's a very sensitive subject. (just like women are when we think we put on a couple of pounds). Good luck. email me for suggestions on the fantasies.

Answer 6

No, you deserve more pleasure. I would start slower (with more foreplay or maybe watching something naughty together) before going deviant.

Some wedding ceremonies even include a vow to provide sexual pleasure (too bad the traditional American ones don't include that!).

Answer 7

I think after awhile we fall into this pattern that needs to be broken by someone. Maybe he feels YOU'RE confortable with his delightful methods (I'm being sarcastic there!) and doesn't think that you'd be into something more "fun". What if you were to bring up to him one day that you had a dream that you were a stripper or something...see if he takes the bait. If he gets excited about it, go on and pretend like you really had this dream. See what his reaction would be. Get him into the fun.

If this turns you on, maybe it's something you could employ all the time. Also, I would just try talking to him about it to see if there isn't something that he'd like to try.

Answer 8

Be vocal! Next time you're in a sexual situation, whisper, "I love it when you do ..." or "When you do ... I get really turned on." Or you could be really daring and SHOW him what you like. If he doesn't know how you please yourself, how is he going to know how to please you?

Another tactic might be to watch something racy together and say, "You know, it might be fun to try that..."

It's not unreasonable to want to enjoy sex and want to keep things fresh and exciting in a long-term relationship - it's perfectly natural. It might be that you've both maybe gotten a little complacent. Take the reigns and spice things up - you might find there are things he'd like to try that he was too afraid to mention before...

Have fun!

Answer 9

No, not at all. In fact this is one of reasons why women cheat on there husbands. You have the right to be pleasured more. I would love to know what your definition of deviant is, hehe.

Answer 10

NOPE!!!!
Nothing worse than a spouse who makes you feel like you're nothing but a hole to him. Sex is about two people, if he can't see that...then he should just jack off.
Women deserve theirs too!!!!!!
Believe there are men out there who do care, and really don't enjoy themselves if you aren't getting off too. Oh, and they will hold back until you get yours, and if they slip, they'll make up for it after the fact in other ways.

Answer 11

If you're not feeling satisfied sexually, it's not unreasonable at all. I'm sure if you wanted to spice things up, he'd be into it too!

Just do lots of research, and be open when teaching him how to do things. Help him teach you how to do things too. After all, you both just want to rock each other's worlds.