Rape????????????

Question

My 14 year old daughter was raped by my ex-boyfriend. I'm her mom so I'm suppose to know what to do all the time, but I feel as scared as her because he left before anyone could get a hold of him.??what am i suppose to do? I know that he is capable of A LOT

Answer 1

How about calling the police and have him arrested since you know he is capable of a lot? And since you did know that he was, that kind of makes you an accessory to the fact doesn't it for not protecting your daughter? You also need to get her examined immediately in case she became pregnant or was infected with an STD. If you do nothing, the authorities can in fact hold you responsible for child neglect and endangerment and remove your child from your home

I have been a victim of rape, and your daughter will need counseling to help her to recover from this.

Answer 2

You are supposed to call the freakin' cops. What do you think you're supposed to do.

If he's capable of a lot, then why the hell did you have him around your 14 year old daughter in the first place?

Teach your daughter that you stand up for what is right - you don't bow down in fear. He left before anyone could get a hold of him??? I seriously doubt that he's gotten so far that the police can't get him.

Your daughter will suffer MORE damage if you just let this go, instead of following up and making sure yoru scumbag boyfriend gets what he deserves.

I'm more likely to think you are a little worried about your own hide. Like why your scumbag ex-boyfriend had access to your 14 year old daughter and where were you. You know as well as everyone else, that the police will have lots of questions for you, too.

Answer 3

First of all, you need to call the cops and report what happened, and get them looking for this creep. He's guilty of statuatory rape, taking indecent liberties with a minor, offensive touching, and a whole host of other crimes. I also know that if it can be proven that you left your daughter alone with this a**hole, then it's likely that the police will arrest YOU too, on charges of felony child endangerment, among other things. Where the hell were you when this was going down, lady? If you knew what was going on, then how come you didn't call the cops at the time- surely, you aren't one of those perverted idiots who believes that your daughter enjoyed getting raped?

Now, about your daughter- she needs to see a doctor right away, and she also needs to talk to the police herself and give them her version of what went down. After she's been examined ( and contrary to what one of the other writers said, yes, they can prove she was raped, even several days after the fact, by looking for tears, bruises, and other evidence that the sex wasn't consensual) she needs to see and talk to a counselor at the local rape crisis center.

YOU ALSO need to talk to a counselor, because you need to learn how to help your little girl, and also why it was so important for you to be in a relationship that was clearly abusive to both you and her. Do you want what happened to your daughter to happen to another little girl? If your answer is no, then perhaps you can see why it's vital that you get the authorities involved in this case. If your ex has done this once and gotten away with it cleanly, then it's only too likely he will do it again to other young girls and women, because he now knows he can get away with it. This is a tragic situation, and it was also preventable, as I am sure you must realize.

Have you even thought about what will happen if your little girl turns out to be pregnant as a result of this? There is no truth to the myth that women never conceive during a rape. For a lot of victims, that one time is all it takes to make them pregnant with a child they neither wanted nor are capable of handling. What about the possibility that your ex could have AIDS or some other STD which can't be cured? If he does, your daughter has now been exposed to whatever he has- and some of these diseases can kill.

I urge you to get off your a** and call the police, and take your daughter to the hospital for a checkup. Enough said.

Answer 4

File a police report. My guess is this happend a few days ago if not longer so all the evidence is gone, so you cant actually prove what he did, but I think if you go to the police that would be good. Possibly file a restraining order if you think he will come back...

And as for taking care of your daughter, I suggest taking her to counselling. I know something like this can change a girls life forever and she is going to need a lot of help and support.

i am sorry that you and your daughter had and have to go through all this..I hope healing comes to you, your daughter, and your family soon.

Added:
Please for godsakes ignore the asshole who blamed you for this. This is in no way your fault. A person who would say such a think has no business here or responding to you. I am sorry you had to see that.

Answer 5

If you haven't reported this to the police, do it now. You need the protection that a police force can give you. Your daughter (and possibly you) need to get some counseling. This is a horrible thing to be going through, and your daughter may have a tough time getting through it. Also, be very vigilant about who is around your house. If you can afford a house security system, invest in one. I'm sorry you have to go through this. No one should have to be afraid in their own home.

Answer 6

If its just happened get your daughter to the hospital immediately. They will need to do a rape kit. If its gone past that, and you've only just found out, she will still need to go to the doctor to rule out complications - pregnancy, infections.
Then its a trip to the police. He can't be allowed to get away with this. He needs to be forced to face up to what he did.
She will need all your love and support whatever happens next. Be prepared for a lot of mixed emotions, anger, fear, acting out and depression. Get her help to cope, some counseling.
Above all she will need your understanding and protection.
And be aware next time, that anyone you let into your life, will be in your child's as well.

Answer 7

There is nothing you can do but contact the police and let them know exactly what happened. In a case like this , they're the only ones that can help you. The cops will also provide you with security so stay calm and hope for the best.

Answer 8

GET OF THE COMPUTER AND CALL THE POLICE LIKE YESTERDAY! TAKE HER TO THE HOSPITAL! GO WITH HER AND STAY SOMEWHERE HE DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT. THEN MOVE AWAY PERMANENTLY FROM WHERE YOU LIVE NOW ASAP!

I'm sorry this happened....take her to a counselor and apologize to her... She needs to know it's not her fault. That's the #1 thing rape victims think after they are raped. You brought this person in and you have to take some sort of responsibility.

Good Luck!

Answer 9

Get the authorities involved asap. Get a restraining order, and file a report also most importantly get your daughter some help as soon as possible. She needs to speak to a professional about what happened, I have no doubt you are a good mother but this is something that you will be limited to help her with on your own...

Answer 10

First, get ahold of the authorities. Let them know whats going on- they have the resources to find him and hold him accountable for what he did.

Second, find a local (or not so local- your call) women's shelter, and see if they have any beds available. I would recommend staying there for at least a few nights, until the police have your ex in custody, and your daughter feels safe going home again.

Third, find a good counselor for your daughter, and one for yourself as well. Rape situations are very stressful, and you need the assistance of someone specially trained to handle them.

Good luck!