Is there a need for stronger men since women are stronger now?

Question

since the majority of women (whether wanting to admit or not) like a man who is stronger and more dominant than them...and women are becoming stronger, wouldn't we be putting more pressure on men to become even stronger to handle today's women? I wonder how much pressure men feel.

I know the question got too strong with too many strongs, but read it twice if you must :) And I'm not talking about physical strength.

Cloudcity: you're right there is certainly room for d debate when one measures strength. I would argue that my grandma was as strong in so many ways. However, based on financial power, holding higher professional positions and equal legal rights---women's mentality is changing...if you don't believe it, look at the divorce rates filed by women. The dynamic of relationships is changing with women having more power. This, I would base the strength statement on.

When a woman makes as much money as a man or see more options than staying married, she's certainly more powerful, reflecting in her mentality and personality. Today's ideal man has to handle this change to keep the balance.

Portwine: Can you elaborate?

Juniper: I agree about the confusion created, just not sure about the "losing temper" part LOL

Steve: I understand the "professional" strength aspect, but I'm referring to the overall status of women...Are you telling me that their higher status in society (compared to last generations) hasn't created a different power dynamic in relationships? Even if you put profession aside? I don't think the overall dynamic can just be left outside of the home.

There is a reason why more and more file for divorce--we feel more empowered, yet we're in the same need to have the man as the strong/dominant one. So in reality, the "equality" is bitter-sweet because we still want the guy to overpower us and less and less men can handle it. Kinda hard to explain, but you can feel it when you're a woman LOL

Sarah: I'm pretty independent and strong, but I still need a MAN who can do it better than me and be the head of my family....Alot of people react strongly to the word "dominance"...but this is no submission, S&M kinda deal LOL

I have to agree with Jack. It's the not-feeling intimidated, supportive mentality that a lot men don't have because they feel threatened. Although, a lot of men, even from the older generation (my dad included) confident men actually enjoy having a strong woman by their side. I have to say while there are men like this (steve I'm assuming you're one of them) the majority of men haven't established or developed the ability to be that way because they didn't have to in the past.

Cass: You kinda lost me with legal troubles...you may be coming from a personal experience with your analysis...but I'm not sure how law enforcement would fit into the picture. Are you saying that dominant women abuse? Or that women wrongly accuse men of abuse? Kinda lost me there.

I meant strong *men* abuse?

Answer 1

One of your many great questions.

Men need to be strong only in their self confidence, self-regard, and ability to act, to form their opinions without worrying about whether they conform, and to respect the right of others (wife, girl friend, s.o., etc) to chart their own course.

Men need to be strong enough to applaud the strengths and superiorities of their mates.

It's not zero sum.

Answer 2

I don't agree at ALL with the premise. Women are not stronger. Women are having the opportunities to pursue a wider range of goals and are having their accomplishment recognized, but I wouldn't call them "stronger" at all.

However, the idea that men now feel they must not only compete with other men to be seen as successful, but also need to be as successful (or more so) than their prospective partner, probably does put pressure.

It doesn't help that some women (a minority, but vocal) will not only expect the man to still have more money, etc., but will also belittle men with the idea that a woman has to work twice as hard to achieve the same success, while men have it easy

It's not a pretty picture for guys. And of course, many feminist's response is "boo hoo hoo, you're just whining because you no longer have privileges you never should have had to begin with."

Answer 3

Only if they can't set the professional/secular persona aside in personal interactions/relationships, and just be his mate.

The kids will not care what your job is, you're just mom or dad.

I know people who *become* their jobs or professions, or educational accomplishments. It comes to define who they are, how they behave and interact 24/7. They can't take it off! And must remind everyone who they are, what they've accomplished, etc.

I'm never so impressed so as to be intimidated by secular/professional accomplishments because I've accomplished more than most will, but I know I'm just a guy tryin' to make it. We all are.

For example, I deal with MD's on a consulting basis. Some are humble, some are pompous and supercilious.

Though I am not intimidated (e.g. if they call me by my first name, I call him/her by their first name, if they call me Mr., I call him/her Dr), I prefer to limit my social interaction where possible, because it's unpleasant.

Bottom line, if some women want to feel like he is the dominant person, but at the same time can't take off the professional cap as reminder about how "strong" she is, I guess he's got to learn to deal with the constant competition for dominance.

But, I think it would become exhausting and he'd eventually want off that treadmill.

EDIT:

I guess what I'm saying is that I recommend leaving all that stuff at the door, be it him or her. My friends and family will tell you that I am the same now personally as I was right out of college.

I don't feel higher or more empowered based on accomplishment. I'm the same guy, just a bit wiser hope. I don't see why women should be any different.

Answer 4

I do think that many men feel more pressure lately, but I don't think it's because women are any stronger. I think they just don't know what their new "role" is. We keep telling guys that we don't need them to earn money, we don't need them to take care of us when we're pregnant, we want them to help with the housework (but not in their own way, we want them doing it our way!), and the guys are understandibly confused. Every woman is different now - some want a breadwinner husband, some wouldn't be able to stand it. Some women expect a boyfriend to offer marriage after a surprise pregnancy, some would be upset at the inference that they "need" a guy.

I think you're right that men have to be stronger these days - if only in not losing their temper at the many inconsistencies among modern women. Some women have changed some things, but other women have not. So I do feel quite sorry for the guys who have to puzzle this out.

EDIT: LOL, I just wasn't sure how to put it into words. I can just understand the aggravation of men who are unsure of what we expect from them.

Answer 5

Men are strong enough. Men were made to be strong. It's in our nature. I know now women today have become more empowered, but that's only because alot of us men have dropped the ball, so women have evolved into what you see today. Is this a good thing yes and no?

**For the record: 'a man doesn't have to dominate his woman to be stronger than her, and vice versa.'**

Answer 6

Your reasoning is too linear on this, I think. Yes, women tend to want a man who is taller, stronger, and makes more money than her, I don't think it necessarily follows that men have to do so much more now that women are stronger in some ways. I think the real issue is that men wish women were stronger in the direct communication and fair scorekeeping departments.

Answer 7

That could be the longest run-on sentence I've read today. I'm not for Hillary but it isn't because she is a woman. I believe that a woman will be elected president and I believe she will do a pretty good job. Other countries have had women as head of state and they did just fine. I just hope and pray it isn't Hillary.

Answer 8

I dont think it changed a lot. "Strong men" are just viewed differently today, and the majority of men are aware of and adapting to domestic violence laws. Quite a lot of women who need a man "who can handle them" wont find such a man, because they resist the inclination to handle their mate due to the risks it bears, like retailiating using what she agreed to against him. Thats why difficult women get sex from dominant men, but no relationship, because there is nothing in it for them in the long run, quite the opposite, the longer a relationship to such a woman, the more likely it is to reach the point where it eithier ends or he gets in trouble with the law.

If you are referring to your personal situation, not beeing able to cope with a man who is lesser in income and status thats less about personality and personal inclination and more about exterior factors.

Answer 9

Interesting frame of reference, using the other gender's personal development (instead of strength) to measure your own. I think there are more pressing issues such as poverty and overpopulation to justify personal development (strength).

For Women I wonder why they even want a man, but I guess only becomes evident as Women get older and realise that what men bring to a relationship is not really unique to the male gender. The flip side is why would anyone want a weaker partner.

Answer 10

I don't think people should try to be anything that isn't part of who they really are. One of the most uncomfortable things for me personally, is to have to put on an act just to please my partner, I'd rather be accepted as I am and be happy being me, I would want the same from my partner, for him/her to be who they are and accepted as such, that to me, is strength of character, to be true to oneself.

Being emotional or sensitive doesn't necessarily make a man less strong, I think strength involves qualities such as loyalty, responsibility, treating her as a friend, companion and equal, respecting himself (as an individual and man) and expect respect from her, etc, not really an attitude of dominance, but rather, confidence and assertiveness.

Good question. :-)