Is this a sign that I am finally over the pain of betrayal and ready to move on? Our marriage may not have been perfect but we were great friends. We could talk about anything. Now it seems that when I call him about our son or he drops by to pick him up he tries to extend our conversations by talking about his family, work, etc. It is sad really. I do not want him to be miserable. Why don't people think of all they can lose before they cheat??
2007-11-05 06:07:08 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have a good heart and you were a good friend to him. Your ex also remembers the friendship you too shared. You are over him, forgive him and be friends it will be good for your son to learn to forgive and move forward. Remember forgiving is for the strong, not the weak.
2007-11-05 06:16:58 · answer #1 · answered by Nettajay 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This might sound weird or stupid to say. But that is what men do. From the beginning of time men cheating has been a double standard issue that has raised alot of eye brows. It's more acceptable for a man to do it. In a way it's kind of expected from them. Women on the other hand are considered sluts if they do the same thing. It's not that he doesn't love you, because believe or not he probably does. But sometimes men want to feel like they still have it. So they tend to do stupid things. Your ex husband still loves you, but he made a stupid mistake that you should consider giving him a second chance about. Especially if you can talk to him about anything and yah have a son together. That's alot of history to just throw away.
2007-11-05 06:52:43 · answer #2 · answered by Pierre 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They don't think they will get caught. I think you ARE finally ready to let go of the pain. It's nice to think that you two can be friends for your son's sake. It also shows that you have a really big heart. Nobody wants to see someone they care about hurting and they fact you feel sorry for him and don't want him to be miserable means you do still care for him-even if it's just as friends. Forgiveness is a good thing. Good Luck!
2007-11-05 06:13:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
that is a good question, in my opinion I guess they have thought about it and some just don't care about what they will lose if they get caught. My opinion its depend on the individuals really wants in life. Do they really wanted to be married and raise a family? Or just get married because it something that they think they wanted? Many cases it seem that the individuals lose that loving feeling once reality set in, especial those who are not sure. Because responsibility is a very heavy burden for those who only think of themselves and only their needs in a relationship.
2007-11-05 06:33:12 · answer #4 · answered by Thomas 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you're beginning to move on. My only warning to you is to remember what he did. Not because you want to be angry at him but because you don't want him working his way into your life again. It sounds like he's realizing that the grass isn't greener on the other side.. He's realizing what he's lost. There is no such thing as a perfect marriage. So not having one is no excuse for cheating. There is nothing wrong with having positive interactions with your ex. In the end, it will benefit your child.
2007-11-05 06:32:57 · answer #5 · answered by Caligirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To your first question, yes you are ready to move on , and you should do so. No brains come to mind, people are never happy with what they have no matter how good it is. They think they can have their cake and eat it too, but when dealing with love and feelings and the heart it isn't such a great gamble. God Luck
2007-11-05 06:22:17 · answer #6 · answered by eeyore6838 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Great question. There is much to lose.
I think it does mean you are moving on.
Don't get tempted; keep moving forward. Rarely does going backwards work.
But then, that's just an opinion, if you feel you can or want to forgive him, some people do change.
2007-11-05 06:12:07 · answer #7 · answered by Think! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well when you start feelings sorry for him remember all the pain and hurt he caused you. Hell yeah he's being nice when he sees you. He's probably praying you'll forgive his cheating butt and take him back. Then he'll have the chance to do it all again. You can be polite to him. He doesn't deserve your pity. He brought it on himself. Once a cheat always a cheat. Hooray for you to leave him. Most don't leave.
2007-11-05 06:24:46 · answer #8 · answered by shellshell 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, I also feel sorry for a puppy abandoned on the street.... if that's all you feel, good for you. But remember that he's got what he deserved, so no real reason to feel sorry for him. Karma gets to you sooner or later. If you've moved on, try not to lead him on and allow him to have longer conversations.... you're ex's for a reason and you should be polite and civil for the kid's sake but nothing else.
I just think people who cheat -- myself included, did it once and never will again -- are too selfish and just think about THEIR needs and feelings, not those of the partner. And we may also be insecure and refuse to drop our "security blanket" till we feel the new relationship is going to work, but not burn the bridges and take the risk.... that's coward and selfish, again.... but it does happen.
Would you answer my question?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/;_ylc=X3oDMTE1MmI4N2IyBF9TAzIxMTU1MDAxMTgEc2VjA2Fuc19ub3QEc2xrA3N1YmplY3Q-;_ylv=3?qid=20071105085116AAKEY6q
Thanks....
2007-11-05 06:22:42 · answer #9 · answered by Lprod 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Cant you still be distant friends ?
I feel for you both- but know not what to say.
His family ? so theres no chance of reconcilliation ?
If he has another family its his choice- if hes miserable its his choice -
I so agree with your last sentence - but mens nether regions rule their brains somtimes.
Ive been married 30 years had chances but thankfully was strong enough inside to resist.
Best of luck for the future xxxx
2007-11-05 06:15:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋