I'm pregnant with my second child and it was planned. But for some reason I haven't even started planning for the actual baby to be here. I haven't bought a thing and I keep thinking I will when I get to it. I know the nesting thing is supposed to be kicking in now that I'm 5 months pregnant but that hasn't either. I'm not saying I'm not excited about having a baby I'm totally excited I can't keep myself from poking around on my belly trying to get the little fella to wiggle around and from bragging about him.
Has any other moms felt really lazy about their pregnancy or uninterested in the details of it all?
My mom mentioned with her first baby she filled in the whole baby album and then with each child she had afterwards she did less and less?
2007-11-05 05:31:44 · 24 answers · asked by Emily 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
It's not that it's less "significant" or "important." Having your first baby is very scary and NEW for moms; they want everything to be perfect, they plan every detail, they buy every baby product they see. Pregnancy is just such a huge step from what ladies are used to... having your first baby is a huge deal for new mommies, it's scary, it's different... and every new mom tries to be Mrs. Clever. ;)
You're just more relaxed and comfortable this time around. You know what to expect. You're being more realistic... more of a Roseanne Conner. ;D
2007-11-05 05:37:44 · answer #1 · answered by Jherek 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a 3 year old and a 5 month old and I know how you feel. The first time around its all new and exciting, and you have all you spare time to think and plan for the new baby, but with baby number 2 you are busier between work, home, spouse and a toddler(in my case). I cried when I delivered my firstborn and I didn't with my second baby and I felt so bad for not doing it. Its not like there was less love but I guess I knew the feeling already. After 5 months I feel so close to my baby and seeing him interact with his big brother is priceless. There is a whole lot of different feelings the second time around, I'm more confident as a mom, I know what to do so I'm making less mistakes. I haven't started the second baby album yet in fact, we have less pictures of our second baby but the love is not less in any way, if anything I really believe I'm closer to my second child.
2007-11-05 05:45:02 · answer #2 · answered by mari 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if this is your second, it could be that you have a toddler or preschooler in the home, and that is tiring and time consuming.
Also you don't have as much money to decorate or go shopping like you did with your first.
I agree with mom, my first baby got all the pictures and the baby album filled in. By the time 3 & 4 got here they didn't even get a baby book (I'd write on the calendar certain milestones)
Also you will notice that there are a lot more pictures in the packages that you buy, that you end up not needing. I still have sheets of my younger kids school pictures. They are parents now.
You'll get it up pretty soon, and be back to nesting and planning.
2007-11-05 05:36:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes, and don't be so hard on yourself. Many mothers feel this way during the 2nd preg. - because during the 1st one it is a brand new experience, you read all the books, panic about every little pain, have all the general fears of delivery and how to care for the new baby. The 2nd time around, you are more wise, less anxious and worried, and more in tune with your body and what pregnancy is all about.
And my mother did the same thing with me regarding the baby books. I was her first so she kept up with everything, then my sister came along ten years later and she didn't even start a baby book for her.
It's not a big deal. I know you are a loving mother and you shouldn't feel bad for not being excited like you were the first go around! Just go with what you feel!
Good Luck!!
2007-11-05 05:40:08 · answer #4 · answered by Ohwhyme? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nesting usually doesn't kick in fully until right before labor. My second pregnancy dosen't seem as "eventful" because I am too busy with a one year old to sit and read everything about the development for each day.
I am still just as excited and will love the baby just as much, but it is not the first for everything.
Sometimes, I get more excited, because I know that this will be the last time for everything.
2007-11-05 05:36:34 · answer #5 · answered by s7e28w81 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh, hon, lots of people go through this. It's not that you're not excited or don't care as much, it's just that you know what to expect and you're a little more used to it all. You aren't as worried, you've been there, you've done it. And you're busy taking care of your firstborn.
Think of your friends who are planning their wedding. It's ALL they can think about. Yak yak yak. You roll your eyes. Then when you're pg with your first child, you do the same thing. All the experienced moms just smile and nod; it's your moment to shine. Now you are the experienced one and you can just sit back and enjoy the ride (it goes by soooo much faster this time).
As for once the baby comes, it just gets worse. My first daughter's baby book was full of cute things she did, the second daughter's is empty and the third child (a boy) didn't even get a baby book. I love them all, but hey, I'm taking care of three kids right now and really don't have the time to write down descriptions of every little thing that goes on.
2007-11-05 05:39:40 · answer #6 · answered by momma bear 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not that you don't care--it's just different this time because of the reality of having another to raise already that takes up so much of your limited time and energy.
The baby book thing is entirely true--it's just the time/energy factor. My poor daughter has very few pix of her, and most of them have big brother in them, too. The ironic/sad thing is that he isn't sentimental and could care less about all the scrapbook stuff I saved for him, and she would have appreciated it more!
It's not that you will love this one any less--and in some ways it will be easier/better this time because you may be less intimidated, scared, overprotective, etc. My daughter is much more easy-going and less selfish than her big brother because she hit the ground having to share where he had 6 years as an only child to be self-centered.
Maybe you can "make it up" to this one on the tail end somehow when the oldest is grown and gone and this one is still at home. Chances are the oldest will gripe then about how the baby is getting by with stuff they never could and you are buying/doing more for them. It all evens out somehow!
2007-11-05 05:39:12 · answer #7 · answered by arklatexrat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was the same way, I had a whole list of things that I wanted to accomplish before the baby came...I didn't do most of the items. The ones I did were done about a week before my due date.
The one thing I felt contributed to my procrastination during my decond pregnancy was the fact that I had a two year old daughter that I didn't have when I was pregnant the first time.
Congrats!
2007-11-05 05:36:04 · answer #8 · answered by ak0840 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had a boy, then a girl, so I was super excited and anxious just like I was the first time around. However, with my 3rd pregnancy, I felt exactly as you do now. Its just a phase and probably a little bit of hormones. You're an "ol' pro", so you don't feel the need to rush around like you did the first time around. Things are far more relaxed and you'll be less anxious. Its perfectly normal. Good luck and congrats!
2007-11-05 05:34:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think when its your first baby you have never experience it before so it seems more exciting to buy all the new baby, cute stuff and when its your second child you have done it before so maybe its not as exciting. Also depends on how far apart your children are mine are 8 yrs apart so it was exciting allover again....everyone is different. The excitement will set in just give it time,,u still have 4 months lol
2007-11-05 05:36:56 · answer #10 · answered by ap262000 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋