Is pursuing my Phd the right thing for me?

Question

I was accepted into a very prestigious Phd program in the United Kingdom. Recently, however, I've been calling into question whether this is the right environment for me to be in. I guess one could chalk it up to an existential crisis of sorts ("why am I doing this? why am I here?"). I'm just not seeing the "real-world" application of my studies (critical film analysis) and in the face of everything that's going on in the world I'm feeling a bit like a blip on the radar, slowly creeping into the oblivion of intellectual discourse never to be heard from again.

The biggest pro is that I'd get to teach: that is huge. Honestly it's the reason I wanted to do this in the first place. But, a big con is I also feel a large amount of guilt as my fiance is back home in the States finishing his MA (the plan is for us to get married in July, then he'll move over here and start a Phd program of his own). He's sacrificed a lot and I'm just generally worried about how complicated things have become

Answer 1

If you want to become a college lecturer/professor you have to realize that it is not about teaching -- it is about research.

If you are not driven to do research, then you should not get a PhD. If you are -- then being able to teach and do research is a great life.

you don't really have to decide now. You can enter the program and see if it is right for you. If not, you can leave with an MA and get on with your life.

Answer 2

Remember that God speaks to us through all mediums, including film, all the time. Since you have spent so much time and energy in that field already, I would continue that pursuit knowing that God could use me in any capacity to help heal the world. As far as my fiance goes, I think that I would love her on a different level, one that does restrict me from living my own life to the fullest without feeling guilty. Fear and guilt are our only enemies.

God bless.