My sibling and I were separated as children since we were adopted by different parents. We found each online and fell quickly in love with each other. We had so much in common.
However, after being married, we discovered recently that we were in fact siblings.
Has anyone experienced this? How do you cope? Do you divorce or work it out? We have children together. How do you get past this?
2007-11-05 05:09:23 · 24 answers · asked by G's Random Thoughts 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I cannot begin to imagine how to answer this one. I'm assuming the baby is alright yes?
-- some states don't require a blood test. Were you married in the US?
2007-11-05 05:20:27 · answer #1 · answered by Emperor Insania Says Bye! 5 · 7⤊ 0⤋
Since you had no idea until now the blood relationnship is irrelivant (there were even some cultures that encouraged this sort of marriage like the Egyptian royals often married family, siblings, cousins, neces nephews etc to preserve the purity of the bloodline). Since you weren't reaised together there was not emotinal sibling tie to contend with. The ONLY thing you migh want to look into is the fact than the marriage my not be legal becasuse of the blood relationship (I think that sibling marriage is illegal in most if not all states so the question of whether or not to stay married may be a non-issue you should check the laws in your state).
If you have had agood relatioship until now, and have been happy toegether then this new information should not change that, or any OTHER aspect of the relationship. Although if you haven't told the kids yet, you might want until you work out what you are going to do before telling them.
If it were me...I'd keep things the way they are, a good relationship is hard enough to find, no reason to let someting like this ruin what would otherwise be a happy family life.
2007-11-05 07:44:51 · answer #2 · answered by kveldulf_gondlir 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW!. I think you need to focus on both your lives and your kids if yur children are healthy and you love each other then well whats the problem so myou share some DNA. It's not like you planned on marrying your sibling but maybe it is the similarities that have made you guys such a close couple. I think it comes to how does this make you feel can you personally still have a strong sex life and great relationship knowing that you are married to your sibling. Most people would probably answer this by saying absolutely not really ask yourself this question and that should give you a clear answer on what you should do.
Sometimes it is just best to end something that you feel is wrong and well damaging to your mental well-being.
On a personal note maybe it was meant for you to meet and bond like this?.
2007-11-05 05:22:55 · answer #3 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
this one is a bit new to me, and I thought I had heard just about everything.
I would talk to a medical doc and get genetic screening. While the world would loath that you are together, you are. I would offer no other advice than that.
both of you have to deal with it in your own way.
Do not let the world know of your situation as they will condemn you, but at the same time, if a risk of genetic trait being passed along that is devistating, you might want to skip making kids if the risk is 100% for sure
2007-11-05 06:52:18 · answer #4 · answered by magnetic_azimuth 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have children, I would keep the secret you and your brother have. Stay married, keep it quiet, and give the kids two parents to grow up with. You can make just as good of parents as anyone else. However, for the kids sake (since society tends to frown on sibling love), I'd keep it quiet - if you want to tell them the truth when they are older that is fine, but you don't want them to have to endure the teasing from others while they are young. This is another reason why not to split up - word would get out and they would be teased.
Good luck.
2007-11-05 05:37:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I assume that your children were born free of any problems. This, of course, is the major problem with marrying any relative, sibling or otherwise. I do not believe that you should get divorced. If you love each other and your children, that does not need to change and you do not need to feel obligated to tell anyone about your recently discovered relationship. No, it's not normal, but that doesn't mean you can't make it work. There are several Biblical couples that had a familial relationship before being married. It is taboo socially and due to birth defects, if you have avoided those problems than why sacrifice your happy marriage?
2007-11-05 05:20:38 · answer #6 · answered by itsjustme 2 · 4⤊ 3⤋
Oh I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this.
But its not either of you's fault.
You have some difficult decisions to make. What you have as a marriage is illegal in the face of the law, but do they need to know?
You can't turn back time and erase your children, or your love.
Personally, if myself and my wife could live with it I'd just keep quiet about it.
Although religions tend to look down on incest, you didn't know it was when you were doing it.
And it was made a legal offence because some small communities were becoming so inbred that latent medical problems were coming to the fore regularly.
Good luck in the future, i seriously wish you the best.
2007-11-05 05:22:13 · answer #7 · answered by paof2 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I would seek advice from a religious friend or maybe a pastor or something like that. Some people on Y!A are only here to hurt other people.
As for the guilt issue, it wasn't your fault. You didn't know that you were related before you got married and had children.
2007-11-05 06:55:13 · answer #8 · answered by moon&stars 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You don't divorce. If you're within the degrees of consanginuity that is prohibited, your marriage was never valid in the first place.
You have basically two choices. Move apart or keep your mouth shut and hope nobody else finds out. As long as nobody else knows you can let things stay the way they are. As long as nobody can prove you knew you won't go to jail for committing incest or whatever they think they can charge you with.
2007-11-05 05:45:11 · answer #9 · answered by Paul R 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
they have a saying in wv about that but im not gonna do it lol dude that is just messed up hope it aint for real but to me it seems wrong and sorta wierd but it wouldnt be either ones fault now would it the question is do yous still love each other in the same way
2007-11-05 08:07:44 · answer #10 · answered by the_orc_1 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋