I have trouble getting my husband to own up to his financial irresponsibility. My name isn't on the bank account he uses to deposit his weekly check so I am powerless to control it iin anyway, unless he leaves me an atm card. Over the weekend he clains to have lost 30 or so dollars, and seems to have drawn more than $80 out of the account for his "football weekend" (gas, food, drinks) While I spent the entire weekend taking care of our 1 year old alone. I get chastised for taking forty dollars out. He showers first when we both need a shower, and just really prioritises himself over us in weird ways. What can I do to get on a more even playing ground with him? How can I get him to take Putting me on the bank account more seriously?
2007-11-05 04:23:12 · 9 answers · asked by tenpointsgirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I suppose I forgot to mention that i am 8 months pregnant, and we can't afford child care for what I can make working part time right now... and $80 is a lot of money, when your six months to a year behind on hospital bills and car payments. We're talking about prioritizing here.
2007-11-05 04:56:12 · update #1
I don't know what to tell you. You've basically gotten yourself in a mess that I don't think that answerers on this forum can tell you to get out of. Take it like this...It's a learning experience. After you have your baby, do what you need to do. You can get a job, apply for welfare so that they will pay your childcare costs and move on.
2007-11-05 05:31:14 · answer #1 · answered by lawstudntbynite 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a job? Open your own account?
Personallhy - I don't see $80 being spent on the weekend being any big deal. If he goes away every weekend then I would have an issue with it, but once in a while no biggie.
As far as the shower - my husband always gets in first because he is in there a fraction of the time it takes me. What's the biggie?
2007-11-05 12:31:17 · answer #2 · answered by Susie D 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if there is a way to force him to add your name to the bank account. Perhaps you can call up a family law attorney to see what your options are. In my understanding, the income either of you brings in belongs to both of you, but as far as I know, he's not required by law to add your name to his bank account. I think it would be useful to chat with a lawyer and make sure you understand the options. Other than that, I don't know how you can get him to "take you more seriously" at this point, if you haven't stood up for yourself so far. Sounds like you have in essence been empowering him to do what he's doing; what could possibly motivate him to change? He has you where he wants you.
2007-11-05 12:42:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have always worked, and had two children. I had my own bank account and my husband and i divided things up evenly. He made more money than i did, so he paid more bills...
But i had my own money and paid daycare... took care of the kids' clothing, as well.. bought my own car.
That's my best solution. If your husband has activities which he is involved with a lot of the time, then why not do things too?
take care
2007-11-05 12:37:55 · answer #4 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
HI,
I believe both of you don't talk the way you are suppose to talk. Stop complaining for a while and talking to him try and show him love he will change because love conquers all problems.
Tell how much you care about him. let him know don't bring about the money issue yet because it can break your relationship with him.
When the love is establish again then the money issue can come up in an understandable manner.
Thanks
2007-11-05 12:35:14 · answer #5 · answered by daniel65ng 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have never believe in having same bank accounts. Both my husband and I have separate accounts. We also have an agreement as to who pays what bills. However, if I need money, he lets me have it and if he needs money I let him have it. If you are working then have your own account and let him have his. However, if you aren't working, you should at least have a certain amount of it forked over to you and that amount should be determined by you.
2007-11-05 12:46:17 · answer #6 · answered by Pinolera 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him and tell him how you feel and ask him everything you want him to do nicely. You have to be sweet and choose words when talking to your man. For some reason men seam to respond better when you calm and nice and you may have to say it more than once to get your point across. However, do you work ? is he the only one who works in the family that could be taugh on him and you too these days is hard to make it with one income. However he should ad you to his account regardless. good luck
2007-11-05 12:31:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to have to tell him you need to get me on your bank account or tell him you are not going to do the things that you need to do for him you wash close right you pay the bills right you take care of your baby well he needs to help to and you are going to have to put your foot down. And show him that you need money to. And that is that.
2007-11-05 12:40:29 · answer #8 · answered by Lost 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get your own job...then who cares about the bank account....quite possibly that is his dilemma...that he makes the money and you do not contribute...and as far as child care goes...you can work a shift where he is at home so there is no cost of child care
2007-11-05 12:41:05 · answer #9 · answered by sunbun 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋