I hear so many people talk about "if the trust is gone, then there is no love". Problem is love and trust don't don't tie into each other so is the new "love" actually trust? Think about this before you answer because I never hear someone say , "I'm staying with this person because I trust him", they say they love them, that's why they stay and work things out! I know both do play a role in a relationship, but I'm tired of hearing people talk about if there's no trust, theres nothing (which is not true). Society's easy button from staples I guess. Oh, and I am not a victim of this at all...
2007-11-05 04:07:39 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
id think if there is no trust then how can there be love or be in love with someone. if i didnt trust who i was with i would choose to not be with that person.
2007-11-05 04:11:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
In my opinion, there is SOME truth that "if the trust is gone, there is no love". I feel that once the trust has been violated, at least in my experience, It is hard for me to express the love in fear of getting hurt/lied to again. In a protective move, I begin to withdrawal and building a wall, so to speak. And eventually, the wall gets so big and so thick, that the love can't through anymore and well, it just goes away. I stop putting forth the effort and working on the relationship because deep down, I feel that they will just hurt me again. So I fall out of love with them.
But I have never heard someone say that they are staying with someone just because they trust them. I would not stay with someone just for that and I don't think anyone really does. I think other factors come into play that they are just not voicing, such as financial security, them not wanting to leave "the comfort" of being in a relationship, and whatnot.
I guess what I believe is that there can be trust without love, but there can't be love without trust. If you believe you truly love someone but cant trust them to not cheat on you, be there for you, and stand beside you when they need you-then I think you may just not really be in love, but in that "comfort zone" of a relationship-where you don't want to leave because it is all you know and it sometimes, living with someone you don't trust but can tolerate is better than facing the fear of the unknown and the what if's. I have been there and it took me over a year to realize that I wasn't in love with the guy, but just scared to be without him. I had been with him since I was 16 and he was all I knew....He was my first love and the only true relationship that I had experienced, so it took me a while to figure out that this wasn't how a relationship was supposed to be. That I should be able to rely on him to be there for me and trust him in general not to be stupid, for lack of better words.
2007-11-05 04:20:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well trust is one of the many building blocks of love. W/o it, the relationship feels severely lopsided, which is too much for most people.
But I agree that people give up on trust too easily. Trust lies in many aspects of a relationship, not just the commitment part. So when the commitment is broken, why is all of the trust suddenly gone?
I think the commitment aspect just represents trust in one's mind, so when that is shattered, the view of the relationship is shattered as well.
2007-11-05 04:23:52 · answer #3 · answered by rorybuns 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think trust is a big fatcor because if you can not trust the one that you love how is your relationship going to grow for instance I love my husbadn with all my heart 5 years ago eh cheated on me we are still together but til this day I can not trust him and I have come to see that I have been building a barrier so that i will not love him anymore to where if he leaves it will not hurt me as much as I thought it would. I still love him with all my heart but I do not love him to the extent if he leave it will not hurt. So Trust I feel is a be factor in my relationship if you can not trust that person how do you love that person I have been able to pass trust but I don;t think that I can love him anymore then I do. SO TRUST
2007-11-05 04:21:47 · answer #4 · answered by Lost 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I believe some people confuse the two words. Me personally, I don't know if I could love someone if I couldn't trust them. I would probably still care about them which I think the word "love" is confused with "caring". I think that you can build a relationship with love because love is unconditional. When you trust someone, it is earned. When you trust someone, it's like you're putting your faith in that person not to hurt you in anyway. Think about it, you can "love" or care about someone if you don't trust them. For example, your spouse cheats on you, you still can have love that person, but the trust is broken which needs to be rebuilt.
In a different perspective on being with someone you trust. Let's say that you go to your accountant for taxes every year. One year, you found out that one of his employees is using your ssn and trying to steal your identity. You don't love your accountant, but you trust him with your taxes and identity. Once you found out that one of his employees were misusing your information, that trust is gone. Would you stay with them b/c you trust them? So in essense, love is unconditional, trust is earned, more personal. I believe without trust, a relationship will eventually die.
2007-11-05 05:00:15 · answer #5 · answered by bitterly_sweetness 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust can bring out a pure and great love, whereas love without trust is bound to be doomed. Love without trust, brings jealousy, suspicion, uncertainty, and loss of loyalty, which leads to hurt feelings and in some cases abuse, nothing good can come from a love with no trust, the love will diminish over time without it.
2007-11-05 04:16:03 · answer #6 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You can believe what you want.....we all have our own opinions on this matter....I personally feel that if there is no trust and if I can't trust the person that I am with.....there is no way that I can still love that person with the same intensity...the love will disappear.....Now if you are talking about your children.....I will love them no matter what...that love is unconditional....even if I couldn't trust them....
2007-11-05 04:14:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I absolutely believe there can be love with trust. Now, I didn't say there could be "healthy" or "satisifying" love without trust. But, yes, love can exist even without trust.
I certainly don't want one without the other. Of course, that's just me, going for the healthy satisfying kind of love.
2007-11-05 04:22:38 · answer #8 · answered by Holly 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
trust and love DO tie into each other. if you don't have love then your trust for the partner is gone as well. same as the other way other way around.
2007-11-05 04:16:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's pretty close, but I'd go with Trust.
Love comes in many forms, can grow stronger, can cool, can evolve. It can die. It can also be reborn. Love is forgiving.
Trust, however, pretty much gets only the one chance. Break it, and it's gone. Under VERY fortunate circumstances it can be mended, once, maybe.
2007-11-05 04:49:40 · answer #10 · answered by Chipmaker Authentic 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋