Should I be mad?

Question

My wife comes home last night and starts argueing with me about various things. Mostly about her feeling overwhelmed with the baby and that I dont help enough or give her enough attention. Heres the situation, she is a stay at home mom and she goes to school in the evenings. I work six days a week to pay for the bills which includes her school and her car. I take care of my son at night while she is in school. So to get to the point should I be mad or does she really have a point. My blood was boiling but i just bit my tongue and said nothing.

Thanks everyone, I just needed another opinion. And everyone gave great advice.

Answer 1

I'd be pissed....tell her if she doesn't like the arrangement then she can quit school and get a F*ing FT job.
I'd love it if there was a man in my life who'd pay for everything and watch the babe while I went to school.
Instead, I'm a single FT working mom who pays her own way completely. I can understand feeling overwhelmed and needing attention...but sometimes it doesn't get any better than it is. She should be counting her blessings that she has it as good as she does!

Answer 2

Here is my suggestion-----she said that she isn't getting enough attention. Concentrate on that. The fact that she isn't getting enough attention could lead her to look at EVERYTHING, such as the dishes not being done or getting annoyed by every sock that is left on the floor. Give her attention. One night after putting the baby down for bed, do something romantic for her. Get some wine and a movie and cuddle up on the couch to watch it. It doesn't have to be extravagant...just show her that you do still find her attractive and want her. It is very common for new mothers to not feel attractive because their body has changed as well as their whole life. They now can't just have sex with their husband whenever the mood hits, but have to wait until the baby is asleep. The baby takes up so much of both of your time and energy-that by the time you are able to, you might just be too pooped. Let her know that everything she does, you appreciate. Be straight forward and just tell her, Thank You-you are an amazing mom, an amazing wife and I don't know what I would do without you. She, in my opinion, just needs more attention and to feel attractive to you again. Tell her she is beautiful. Tell her she is your world.

Answer 3

How old is the child? Her hormones might still be out of wack if the child is relatively young. Or, she might be on her menstration and just be overly emotional.

Otherwise, she really has no place for arguing. If you pay for her schooling and her car, and you do your equal share for everything, and you work to pay for the bills, then she really has nothing to complain about. She may feel a tad overwhelmed during the day because she you work, and she may feel a tad alone because you two are never home together, but just remind her that you do your share and that eventually the workload will lighten and you will be able to spend more time together.

Answer 4

weather or not she has a point is not the problem. The fact is she is feeling overwhelmed for some reason. Don"t take it personal. Maybe there are some things you can help out with. A good rule of thumb is fight to love and not to win. If you fight to win you both loose in the end. Try to find out why she is overwhelmed and help her out. going to school and taking care of a baby can be difficult and so can working and taking care of a kid in the evening. Maybe she just needs a break from the pressure. so go communicate and find out why.

Answer 5

Atention??? You work six days a week and pay all the bills. She should stop worrying about herself and try to help you so you both can pay each other a atention. There is no reason why she should be staying home. I know she wants to go to school and get her education but i do too but i have a prority and that is take care of my girls work so they can have the things they need and also take care of hubby and help him so he won't become overwhelmed with it all. I always try to find solutions as to how we can make time to give each other the attention we need. It is not easy but you two have to work together. Raising a baby yes its overwhelming but once you prioritize and put what matters first it will all work out. YOu have feelings too she needs to focus on that as well. hth..

Answer 6

Honestly, it sounds pretty even right now. You're both part-time parents and you both have jobs (school for her and job for you). What's probably bothering her more is lack of attention from you. Man, women can be demanding huh? It was good to bite your tongue in the heat of the moment but you should have a calm convo with her today about needs (both your and hers). Explain that you feel like you DO help out at night and financially and ask her specifically what she needs and what would help out...then decide if it's something you can do or offer a compromise.

Answer 7

That's what it is she's just overwhelmed with alot of things. So since you are the closest thing to her right she going to take it on you. Until she finish school she going to ***** at you every day. You're a good mad from the sounds of and if it get to bad then she won't understand it until you leave her how much help you was really giving and she didn't appreciate it. But just try to be patient she'll come around.

Answer 8

Doesn't matter who is right or wrong. It only matters that she feels there's a problem. Start asking her questions - try to get as much info as posisble about what she feels is wrong and how she thinks you can fix the problem.
She probably just wants to know that you care, and that you actually listen.
We all see things from different view points. If you both go on believing that you're right, things will never get any better. that's just stubbornness.
You could also start by making it a habit to comment when you notice she's cleaned the house or made a special dinner. We all get comfortable in our relationships, and she probably feels like she's being taken for granted. Just do everything in your power to make sure she knows how much she means to you, and I think most of your problems will solve themselves. People are like mirrors, what you give is what you get.

Answer 9

Hi:

I think that if the things are happening like you are saying (I`m sure that she has a different point of view) , that it doesn`t matter the effort that you are doing, she never gets satisfaction.

I think that she is being terribly selfish and maybe she wants to be and to do the things that her classmates do. It is OBVIOUS that she is not getting the things in the real sense. She has a husband and a baby to take care of, and maybe she is losing the floor and she is trying to forget her life.

Try to talk with her in the better possible way, without arguing and let her know that you want her to be happy, but that she doesn`t have to forget where she mainly belongs.......to your family.

My best wishes and keep on going be supportive to her, if she is a good woman in love with you, she is going to realize the trouble, otherwise........................ be alert because maybe she is not in love with you anymore.

Goooood luck from Mexico.

Answer 10

You have every right to be upset. Sometimes people don't know how to express themselves. She probably feels overwhelmed, but not taking into account the things you have been doing for her. You did the right thing by not blowing your top. You guys need to talk it out. If you guys can afford it, you should have a date night, take the stress off of both of you for a little while. Hire a sitter and go out and have some fun.....it'll make you feel better. Good luck.

Answer 11

She's frustrated, tired and was very likely just venting.

She wasn't being critical of you even though it seems that way.

What she really said was, "I'm getting burned out and tired and I miss you".

React to what she really said instead of what came out of her mouth.

You guys need a date day. Try to get a babysitter and take her out somewhere nice if you can. If you can't, go for a drive and talk, listen to music, make-out - whatever.

Take a break from the baby, work, school and spend some time with each other - even if it's only a couple hours.