Baby very frustrated, constant crying, and we find it seriously frustrating?

Question

My 2nd baby is 7 weeks old today... a few weeks ago we discovered that she has reflux, and thrush. She is just about over the thrush, and the reflux is doing a lot better too.. she only has it in the evenings for a few hours. We tried giving her cereal to help calm the episodes, and it seems to work, but the next day she eats very little and is extremely unhappy all day long. She is only happy and not crying when she is asleep. My husband and I both are finding it very frustrating.. and I just need to know if anyone has any ideas on how we can help each other relax... and gain more patience with the little one. I feel terrible for getting so angry at times with her... I had to walk away from her 3 different times yesterday because it just vecame too much.

The doctor told us to give her cereal in the bottle... she said to give her one teaspoon per ounce, and if it doesnt work to up it to 1 1/2 teaspoons per ounce. So far, we have given her less than 1 teaspoon per ounce. She is drinking similac isomil because similac advance was too hard for her to digest.

Thank you everyone for your answers :) I think I get very frustrated because everything that is suggested has been tried... she liked the swing for about a week but now hates it.. she liked the bouncer chair for a while, but now it only works some of the time. Driving her around helps, but everytime I have to slow down she wakes up and screams. I feel so bad for her, I know there is something wrong but the doctor and I havent figured it out yet. I just need help finding ways to cope with it... my husband works full time and goes to school full time, so it has definately been a bigger work load for me. My 2 year old is great, she is a big help with the baby.

Answer 1

HI there. When my little guy was 8 weeks, I was ready to pull my hair out. I was in the same boat as you, except I did not get angry or lose patience with the baby - I got very angry at myself and what I though was parental inadequacy. I snapped constantly at my better half. I cried a lot. It is so very frustrating until the reflux is more in hand and your happy baby emerges - but it will happen!

I would encourage you to take her to a pediatric GI specialist. If she is still unhappy, something else is at play. She may need Alimentum or Nutramegin, because she may not be able to break down cows milk proteins as well (as is the case with many reflux babies). It is SO worth a try - you will see a happy baby emerge in about a week. Also, the GI can adjust her meds to ensure that she is properly dosed.

Here is a site with some support from other moms of reflux babies. They will give you support, a shoulder to cry on, and encouragement: http://infantreflux.org/

Answer 2

7 weeks and giving her cereal? Not a good idea. But the fact that it seems to help a little tells me that it is probably a tummy problem. Babies cry for a reason. Unfortunatley, as you well know, they can't tell us what is wrong. Since your baby had thrush and reflux, I'm betting that she also is suffering from the pain of the acids in her tummy. Our middle son had a problem that way too, from meds he was on. There are some liquids designed for babies that will stop the burning/hurting in her tummy and are perfectly safe. Just check with your doc, or pharmacist to make sure they won't affect any meds she might be on now, and give her the drops orally as directed. This will really calm down tummy problems. My Grandson is now 8 months old, but from about 1 month till he hit 3 months, he also suffered from tummy problems, and fussed and cried a lot. The drops cured his pain and he stopped crying so often. Your baby could also be lactose intolerant, so you should have her checked. Are you nursing her? DO NOT give her milk, use soy based formula if you are not breast feeding. See if that doesn't help too.
It's been a long time since our 3 children were that little, but I still remember my share of sleepless nights. And, with 3 grandkids, it's all coming back to me!! ;0)
Hang in there, it really will get better. It all boils down to finding what the problem is. Get help from your doc, that's what he is there for, start at the top and work your way down the list of things that could be causing the baby pain or discomfort.
It's good that you walked away to get a little space and calmed down, but you really need to find the problem, so all 3 of you can get some sleep.

Answer 3

You should try taking a hot bath/shower and maybe getting out for a little while together. I know a crying baby is hard, but if it only happens in the evenings then you're lucky. It could be all day long! Do yoga or meditate to lower your anxiety levels. Light some candles and read a book. Get the grandmother over to help. Did your doctor tell you to give the baby cereal already? That could be one of the problems. Ask your health care professional what the best recourse is.

Answer 4

Sounds like she has colic along with the reflux. She's in pain and doesnt know how to relax and let it subside- its part of being a baby.

Try to remember she's not crying and fussing to upset you, she's trying to express and react to the pain and discomfort she's in. Its frustraiting as parents because you're doing everything you think ought to help, but its not, and you cant think of anything more.

Stay calm, the more tense you are, the more uptight you get, and the more strained your voices are the worse it makes it for her. That energy around her makes the colic worse.

Get a baby pouch sling. They sell them on ebay- theyre GREAT for colic babies since it feels comforting like the womb, and they have your heart beat and you have two hands. Theyre life savers.

Get her out of the house and into a more stimulating environment (but not when shes tired or during nap time), like taking a walk with your sling (you can actually sit her in it and put your pregnancy coat on over both of you, or your husbands coat, its great that way, just make sure you leave it open near her head). Get some soft music CD's and play them and get some toys with lights- ANYTHING that will help disgtract her.

Give her warm baths after eating, or when she's most fussy. Keep the bathroom or kitchen extra warm while you do it so she doesnt tense up from the cold air.

Take car rides on gravel roads. Sing to her, rattle toys, flash lights, anything that will distract without upsetting her.

Most of all, REMAIN CALM. If you're losing your patience, call your inlaws or your parents and take a break. Just one instant of lost patience, one accidental quick move, is all it takes to break or kill a newborn. It doesnt make you a bad person to need a real break. It saves lives.

The biggest thing I can offer are the slings, they really give you back a lot of your sanity.

Answer 5

Have you tried switching formulas if you are not breastfeeding? My friend went through a similar situation and I was over there constantly trying to help it took going through about 5 different types of formula before we found one that was right. One I would recommend if you haven't already tried it is Carnation Good Start in either the milk based or the soy. They seem to be less harsh than the others. Also try the football hold their head is cradled in your elbow crease face down and the legs are stradling both sides of your arms. rock your arm slowly back and forth making the shhhh-ing sounds. Not only does this relax her but it also relaxes you and daddy the longer you make this noise. Remember most of her anxiety is coming from you two so when you get a free moment take turns giving each other massages and also take shifts so each of you has a chance to cat nap. Hang in there honey it will get better. If you need me you can always email me.

Answer 6

First of all - find support. Do you have a friend, relative or acquaintence who could help? If so, let them help you. If you don't have help, and if you can afford it, I would check into the services of a doula in your area. They are like a mother's helper who are experts in childbirth and newborns. http://www.dona.org/mothers/index.php

Next, is the baby breastfeeding? If so, check your diet - are you eating a lot of spicy or gaseous foods and dairy? They could be giving her tummy trouble. If you are breastfeeding, I suggest you contact the La Leche League. http://www.llli.org/ They are a great resource. If you are formula feeding, maybe she's needs a change. You could talk to your doctor about that.

Car rides sooth some babies. Mine liked and practically lived in a sling. Some like swings or vibrating bouncing seats. It will take some trial and error to find what soothes your little girl but she and you will find it.

Most importantly - please get some help / support. When you are stressed out the baby senses that and it makes her even more upset.

Good luck and God bless - this too shall pass.

Answer 7

I remember those days. Yes, it can get frustrating at times. I would suggest giving each other a break. Maybe your husband can watch her for an hour while you go to the store and vice versa. That way you both get a break. Make sure you bring these issues that she is having up to the doctor again. Maybe they can run more tests to see if their is another issue your little one may have. If you can find the problem, than it can be resolved for a much more peaceful life. Good luck!

Answer 8

I understand how you feel. Walking away is the only thing you can do sometimes. She's too young to leave w/a baby sitter just yet; But just be patient, in a few weeks ask a family member or trusted friend to sit with her for 2 hours so that you and your husband can escape for a while.

Answer 9

Did the doctor say it was okay to give her the cereal? I've never heard of giving a baby that young cereal in her formula.. maybe that's an issue? She might be colicy, unfortunately.. I know it must be terribly frustrating for you. Lavander scents are sometimes soothing for the baby. Try 1/2 tsp every day - twice a day of karo syrup in bottles for now, if no better in a couple days, should see the dr. Could be build up of gas or other things, may need an rx to help.

Answer 10

do you have any friends or family who can come help out? even if its just for an hour or so. try and set yourself up with some helpers just so you can look forward to time alone or with your husband.

if its just the two of you, then you really have to listen to each other. if you see that he is getting freyed, tell him to go take a walk for a few minutes. if you feel yourself getting overwhelmed, tell him you need a few minutes, and take a shower.

you have another child, so you really can't sleep when the baby sleeps, but during those naps, try some quiet time with your other child.

when my daughter was first born, my son and I used to sit in the quiet and read stories or color pictures. he liked it because it was just the two of us, i liked the quiet

hang in there! just remember how fast they grow, it'll get better soon.