How do i deal with divorce?

Question

My mom and dad got divorced when I was 1 year old and i have never had a problem except for the back and forth.since i've turned 11 now 13 i've been fighting with my mom almost everyday.we might get in a fight about losing something and then she brings up my dad and says why don't you live with him.she also said a few days ago that she didn't want to see me anymore and that i didn't love her, but i do every child does.i am really mad that she said that. she even called me at my dads right after she dropped me off and said if you want to stay just call me and i'll bring your stuff over.when we were in the car she just kept saying mean things i didn't know what to say.i just sat there crying I didn't know what to do.it was the worst thing that has ever happened to me.you know my friend has experienced divorce and her mom is almost never there but this seems much worse.It is not good but i think im depressed and sometimes i have thoughts of just getting my life over with and killing me

Answer 1

Well first let me say - you deserve to be loved and your life is definitely worth living. Sometimes when people are sad and don't know how to deal with their own problems - they take it out on others like your mom is doing with you.

Try talking to her and telling her the truth about how she is making you feel. If nothing changes, it may just be best for you to move with your dad. That doesn't mean you don't love her but right now - your life is at stake with the emotions you are feeling and you need someone to be there for you. You are still a child.

I wish you the best and I will put you in my prayers.

Answer 2

Unfort. divorce is very hard and the kids take the brunt of it. My parents divorced when i was 8 and it was really tough, esp. when my parents both dated and remarried and my sister and i were in a constant tug-o-war with them. Whenever my Mom would get upset about something or we would argue she too would say why dont you just go live with your father then! It was really hard to hear, but you have to understand going through a divorce is a difficult thing and your Mom is probably taking her frustration out on you and is still bitter and angry about it. It's not right but when she says stuff like that you need to try to let it not bother you. Throughout my life its been a constant bicker about money, us kids, and other stuff with my mom and dad. You unfort. just have to be strong and take it sometimes.....you should talk to your mom though and let her know how you feel, but just know it will get better as you get older...Good luck!

Answer 3

Oh don't kill yourself, you have a whole life yet to live. Don't let your mom get you down that bad. Live just to spite her. You still have dating and marriage and maybe children and grandchildren that need a chance to be born. There is so much in life to do and see and you will miss it if you let your moms bad behavior destroy your life.

Talk to a counselor at school, tell them what's going on at home. Life is a precious gift, don't throw it away because you are hurting, get some help your will get better. Hang in there.

Answer 4

You and your mom are going through the same thing EVERY tween girl goes through. It's part of the growing up process to start having major differences with your mom about EVERYTHING!! It's the way young girls assert their individualism.

Your mother, unfortunately, doesn't understand this, and is acting somewhat immaturely in her reaction. The divorce, and your dad, are just a convenient relief valve for her -- she doesn't want to deal with your rebelliousness so she just tells you to stay with your dad.

You and she need to see someone who can help both of you understand this difficult time in your growing process so that it can be negotiated gracefully rather than badly!

I wish you both luck.

Answer 5

I dont think it is the divorce causing this issue. You and your mom need to talk to somebody like a professional. It will be ok. Your mom doesn't mean these things. Just treat her very nicely even when she is being mean, if possible. And suggest to her that you and her talk to a therapist. If she won't do it, then talk to your school counselor. I wish you the best.

Answer 6

well i don't know what wrong with you mom who want it to be divorced your mom or dad? i'm divorced my kids live with their mom i go up there and visit all the the time we have no problems at all i know you love your mom and dad i got married again my wife has a 11 year old daughther she goes back and forth i love her like a daughther so talk to your mom and your dad maybe they do something about it or stay with your dad maybe your mom would realize she is making a mistake well good luck to you. a friend gerald

Answer 7

Don't do anything like hurt or kill yourself. Your mom does love you. Honestly the age you mentioned that you started fighting with your mom was about the age that my mom and I started arguing alot, its called growing up, everyone has spats with their parents when they start entering the teen years, its normal. You just need to have a serious sit down talk with your mom, and explain how you feel. Make sure you listen to her and that she listens to you, it'll get better if you do =)