Short version of the story I have had a best friend for 10 years and she got this bf that has completely taken over her life setting him aside she take on average a week or more to call me back, after telling me she would be down for dinner on my bday did not come down. And she knows I am going through one of the hardest time of my life with my dad currently dieing of cancer. I just feel as though I can not count on her any more and this has nothing directly to do with him it has to do with her not being there as a friend for an occasional call/text/im/email. I need to tell her this but the only way I seem to get a response somewhat quickly is through email. I need advice....below you will find a copy of what I am planning on sending to her please let me know what you think
2007-11-05 02:09:36 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Xxxxxx,
I need to get something out in the open between us. I am going to start with I love you more than anything & you are my best friend & my sister. I am so incredibly happy that you have found that person that completes you & he is an amazing guy. You could not be any luckier. You have a great job & found a great place to live. Everything is going right for you! I could not want anything more for you. I am always going to be here for you no matter what. But lately I have come to find that I just can't count on you the way I used to. I am going through literally the hardest time of my life & for the most part hardly get any support from you. Frankly I get more support with what is going on from people at work than I get from you. Just a call/text a couple times a week just to check in or at least return my calls. I am running on empty with whats going on. I have my bf but there is something about the support of a best friend I miss&can't be replaced by a bf.....
2007-11-05 02:17:11 · update #1
continued....
But also when it comes down to it I can't put this much effort into a friendship with almost no return with everything that I am going through. I want more than anything to tell you everything that has been said about my dad and just talk through it with you because you are to me a part of my family.
Please remember I love you like a sister and I am so happy that you have found your other half and what seems to me a very amazing caring guy, along with your job which you love. I really could not be happier!!! But I need to be able to count on my best friend to be there for me a little more as I am going through this stuff with my dad, we are coming to the end of his long road of suffering and I need some support. Please don't hate me for this
2007-11-05 02:21:16 · update #2
that is what I am planning on sending and everything in it is genuine and I don't think it is something that should hurt our friendship because I know if I knew her father was dying I would be calling he just to see how she was and how he was doing despite my own life. I know I can make time and I am working 2 jobs right now, plus helping to take care of my father and my family. as well as doing everything else to keep my life as normal as possible. If this was something my dad was going to get over I would let it go but its not. I don't think I am asking for much I am just askin her to be a little more of a friend make 5 minutes for me. i call her all time and send her text to see how she is, how her job is going and everything else.....trust me i am no asking her to do something I am not willing to do for her because I am calling her and asking about her and genuinely to see how she is not just to talk about me
2007-11-05 02:25:53 · update #3
i do have other friend and I talk to them but it is just not the same. She is like family we have been through everything together. She has been to family events and my mom even thinks of her like a daughter. this is just hard
2007-11-05 02:28:20 · update #4
Im sorry to hear about your dad and the rough time everyones having. My best friend also has recently gotten a new boyfriend and I have totally lost for a long time. I kinda still have and thats my fault cos i couldnt say the same things that you could (in your email) and i really wish i had. So please send the mail, once she realises hopefully she will come out her bubble long enough to support you. And I know you are truly happy for her as any bf would be, but she needs to give you a little back. I really wish you lots of luck. And send the mail, its perfect!
I found though that i had a larger support system from other friends than I thought. I spent time with alot more different people and found some old friendships! Ask on others too!
2007-11-05 02:23:37 · answer #1 · answered by Athena 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear about your daddy. Please do not send your 10-years best-friend anything that would harm the friendship. Yes, I understand that you are going through a hard-time. Maybe she is too. The guy, is possibly someone whom she wants to spend the rest of her life with - be happy for her. Dont blame her for not showing up. I'm sure there has been other times where she was there for you and all.
In life, you usually cant count on many people - learn to stand strong. Good luck.
2007-11-05 10:19:36 · answer #2 · answered by tanpanjang 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, you should have like a backup bf I mean b/c if you could barely count on your BBF then you should get a more reliable one, one you know will be there for you or you could just talk to ppl. here @ yahoo answers.
you could even talk to me if you want........
you might get an answer the next day but it will be helpful.
srry bout your dad.....=, (
sleep on the letter (not literally) see if you feel that same way tomorrow if you do, send it.
2007-11-05 10:21:30 · answer #3 · answered by *~Jessy~* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look... everyone goes through these situations. I know a core group of friends that got too busy because of their relationships... all of them got busy at once, and all got un-busy about the same time. Hilarious.
Just because she isn't all that "available" to you doesn't make her not your friend. Give the girl some space and go in search of additional friends you can introduce this old friend to when she comes out of her cocoon.
It really sounds like you are very needy and need a crutch.
2007-11-05 10:26:45 · answer #4 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You said that it doesn't really have to do with her bf...but it possibly can. You just have to be honest with her and tell her what's going on. Maybe it hasn't even come to her attention that she's been ignoring you and now she'll understand. I'm sorry about your father. :( -hug- God bless!
And yes, I think that sounds perfectly fine, you're definitely getting your point across. I hope she understands.
2007-11-05 10:17:01 · answer #5 · answered by Smileyy :D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋