Wife of one year just stated therapy for a sleeping pill addiction a second time. Had her third meeting with the therapist Friday and missed it because there were to many people that had called in sick that day at work so she could not take the hour off. She was unable to get a hold of the therapist to reschewal as of the end of the day on Friday. The big thing they talked about the first day she went to therapy was that she had to make her 1# over everything including work and marrge. I am so disappointed that she didn’t go I just don’t know what more I can do make her relies how important it is to get the help she need. How bad is it that she missed her 3rd therapy session? Is this common in rehab situations? How do I get her to understand how important the therapy is to our marrge? I just moved back in 7 days ago!
2007-11-05 02:01:58 · 8 answers · asked by irishfirefighter762 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i am almost ready to leave. I am tring to be veary suportive. I do think she could have left hir job for 1 hour. This is very taxing in our new marrge if she dusent get beeter i cant stay merried to hir I cent rase a family with a addiick
2007-11-05 02:24:45 · update #1
we have no kids
2007-11-05 02:25:10 · update #2
She needs to get her priorities straight.
2007-11-05 02:12:56 · answer #1 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if she misses again you could suggest she supliment with an NA meeting at night. don't be discouraged about this being her 2nd time around. i worked with adult addicts for about a year and actually they say the 2nd or 3rd time in therapy is best because they actually BELIEVE what they're being told. The first time through alot of people are cynical and think they know best and can do it alone. The 2nd time they realize they CAN'T do it alone and accept the help. You cannot do much to convince her other than continue to support her recovery and make sure not to enable her. If you really want to be supportive, go to Ala-Non or Nara-Non meetings yourself. Often they offer meetings for both the addicts and loved ones in the same buildings at the same times. Even if all you can find is an AlaNon meeting, go to that, it's still addiction based and can be helpful to both you and your wife. This is not just her recovery, you need some understanding too!
2007-11-05 10:16:45 · answer #2 · answered by laura1977 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a former perscription drug abuser I think I can answer this question? Her sobriety needs to be #1! Before anything, or she will relapse, studys show addicts who put their sobriety before anything else in life, have way more succsess then if not. I see you moved back into the family home just 7 days ago? Do you think this was wise? I dont know all the details of your marriage but I can assure you that this may be a no win situation? As us addicts are very vulnerable during our 1st year of staying clean, so you can do only so much, the ball is in her park, she must want this more then anything in life, so I do hope she has reached her bottom and she remains sober. Also have you tried Alanon? If not I advise that you do, as you may just be as ill if not worse then she is. The family members of the addict are usually just as sick as the addict, you may not think it but you are! So, look up Alanon on the computer or your local yellow pages and attend a meeting, I really think you can benifet from this. Good Luck, its not gonna be easy, but it can be acheived!
2007-11-05 10:16:28 · answer #3 · answered by penelope 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that while her sobriety and attending meetings is important, you may want to put yourself first this time. How is this effecting you? I agree with the others who said to get help for yourself! Attend meetings, or doing some reading on how to live or not live with an addict, find a therapist for yourself. Also maybe if she sees you actively taking a part in your mental and emotional health, she will be more inclined to follow. Maybe lead by example!? Its far easier to sit and critizize someone than to participate actively too. That will also show her you love her, you care but you also are getting help for yourself! If you get some good help for yourself, your path (on whether to stay or leave) will be revealed to you in the right light.
2007-11-05 10:31:50 · answer #4 · answered by nonameblonde 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your wife is serious about her addiction to sleeping pills and is wanting to get the help she needs...She will make those meetings....no matter what! Are you absolutely sure that she couldn't take off an hour to make the therapy session or did she just come up with this excuse to miss it? Talk to her about not missing her appointments....if she misses another one...I would be inclined to believe that she is not ready to deal with her addiction....
2007-11-05 10:09:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call Narcotics Anonymous and ask them to direct you to the nearest Co-dependent meetings. It is free and they have the best help anywhere for you. That's right you need help too. When ever there is an addict in the family, everyone else is sick. If your wife starts to get better, you will need to be getting better too.
Find out when the meetings are for addicts, because they have them several times a day everyday in cities. That way your wife could go after work. NA is a great place for addicts to recover.
2007-11-05 10:12:38 · answer #6 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just as the first said, relax, and focus on other things, as you continue your therapy, it's going to get better.
Good luck!
2007-11-05 10:14:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relax it is not the end of the world.
I am sure things will work out as the therapy continues.
2007-11-05 10:08:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋