to sleep with you occasionally? I was looking at this program that is saying if we do, we are not teaching the child to be independent. My son slept with me when he was frighten sometimes when under the age of 5 years. Only when he became older did I soothe him and encourage him to stay in his bed if he had a nightmare. So what was the harm?
2007-11-05 01:35:59 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Senior Citizens
You said it Wickwire and Sherryn
2007-11-05 04:50:37 · update #1
The people who wrote the program were probably socialists or communists. It sounds like the "witch hunt" is on again for parents who believe in the FAMILY BED! There is only harm if one or more parents are using this type of sleeping arrangement to sexually abuse a child. Other than that, it's just a load of you-know-what!
2007-11-05 02:39:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
My boy is four and slept on my bed when he was sick. He came in one time crying another time saying, "I just had a bad dream." In those cases, I'm not going to heartlessly insist he return back to his own bedroom.
I'm wondering if there may be some connection with teen cutters of today? Or the young who can't seem to express emotion? All because some "expert" claimed it was wrong to show compassion for an ill or scared child, that teaching independence to survive on his own is the best thing to do.
I'm also always amazed how people blindly follow like sheep in things like this when many of them should think back to the times they were afraid and how their parents let them stay in their bed throughout the night. My generation seems to be caught up in their own lives more and more. No time for the children, even during the times their children need them most.
2007-11-05 12:27:53 · answer #2 · answered by Wickwire 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
This is the first or maybe second generation to forbid children to come to their beds. In the past they would've frozen to death if they slept alone.
Why do you think they WANT to do it so badly? Children are learning safety and confidence about the world
and their parents. Do you remember how loved you felt lying between them? These impressions of life last a lifetime.
Totally isolating a child no matter how he feels just doesn't make sense. I erroneously applied Dr Spock's "theories" so now I consider popular teaching knowing it changes every 20 years.
Children can't recieve too much love or affection before age five, or ever I guess.
Juju
2007-11-05 09:56:10 · answer #3 · answered by Ju ju 6 · 10⤊ 0⤋
Being a child that suffered from night terrors myself, I can tell you CATEGORICALLY that it was the times my mother would soothe me and sit with me until I went back to sleep again that I appreciated the most.
If I was told to just go to sleep, that the bogeyman in the closet (or under the bed) was just a figment of my imagination, I would lie awake for HOURS afterwards being too terrified to move.
It doesn't matter TO THE CHILD if the threat is imagined. I had a most vivid imagination, which has stood me in good stead otherwise for the whole of my life. What matters to THEM is knowing that they are worth caring about for those few extra minutes it takes to soothe them and get them back to sleep.
And I am one of the most independant people you will ever meet. Confidant in myself and comfortable in my own skin.
2007-11-05 10:02:11 · answer #4 · answered by Susie Q 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋
I only slept with my parents once and I had a nightmare. Really! I was sleeping at the foot of their bed.
My husband would never let our children sleep or get on the bed with us.( You know the domineering type).
But when my grandchildren were born (and I was divorced) I would lay with them and make up stories to let them finish it and use their little minds. We would sing or talk until they fell asleep. If they had nightmares or just wanted to be near me they were welcome to sleep with me.
Since I never had that bonding time and could not give it to my children, it was a most precious time for me to be with my grandchildren.
They outgrew it on their own but I forever hold on to those memories.
I also think that it does more harm than good to their little psyches to ban them from your room.
2007-11-05 13:37:47 · answer #5 · answered by gabeymac♥ 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You know I always let my kids sleep with me when scared sick etc.. then I unfortunately listen to the experts when my oldest was afraid almost every night and I was told I was making it worse, agreeing so to speak there was something to be afraid of when I let her sleep with me. I made her go to her room spent a few minutes with her and left, eventually they went away but I think there was a cost there, as she has high anxiety and a few other problems now. I wonder if I would have listen to my gut feeling if things for her would be different.
I do let my grand children sleep with me when ever and for what ever reason. I have learned to go with my instincts and listen to the experts but go with what i feel after hearing their advice, sometimes it is good. I would encourage all young people to do what they think is right.
2007-11-05 13:15:11 · answer #6 · answered by doxie 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Who wouldn't want to snuggle up to someone they love? I absolutely loved everyone piling up in bed together all clean and smelling wonderful... who will ever forget the smell of a baby in fresh jammie's... For us, it was always a time for quiet talk... as little feet sought warmth... a finger would wind around your hair, a hand on your face and that special look in their eyes... I simply can't imaging life without it! for any of us!
What in the world could possibly be wrong with that... When my son comes to visit he will still climb into my bed in the morning, snuggle and talk quietly about life... And, this has nothing to do with the bad dreams or illness or just flat out being scared. There is noting wrong with love, and trust, and having comfort with one another... wanting to be close, to me is a good thing... I'm more afraid of people who can't do this than those who can.
2007-11-05 13:43:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong to comfort a little child who's frightened by tucking them in bed with you and giving them the confidence that you will protect them. And there's also wisdom in comforting them and tucking them back in their own bed and reassuring them that they're safe. Each case is unique and each person is unique.
Now that I have many grandchildren and some of them like to stay with me occasionally, I tuck them in my bed and cuddle them. I sing to them, pray with them, and tell them how lucky I am to have the very best grandchild in the world. They will tell me when they're ready to sleep on the couch or make a pallet on the floor. Till then I will savor every moment of holding their sweet little bodies.
2007-11-05 10:31:19 · answer #8 · answered by missingora 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Nothing wrong with it at all. Humans are social by nurture and nature. We need each other, nothing is more calming than gentle human touch by someone we love and trust. When my son was older I had him use his sleeping bag on the floor next to my bed for those scary nights.
2007-11-05 14:40:16 · answer #9 · answered by Tricia3 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Everyone above has expressed my thoughts and sentiments. As well as letting my kids sleep in my bed when they were having a tough time with dreams or whatever, I often would lay down in their beds with them. It's natural...and I'm glad to see that now as parents themselves, they have no problem doing the same thing with their own kids.
2007-11-05 15:43:18 · answer #10 · answered by night-owl gracie 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋