I believe we all (men & women) put people in different groups after meeting them. One of them for women is the "girlfriend" category. What would make you put a guy in that group? How quickly? And once you do, is there a chance for him to switch to another category.
This question is not supposed to be offensive. Men do the same with women...some of us are put in the "she's one of the boys" category...I have been told I've been put in that category a lot of times and I actually liked being there.
2007-11-05 00:57:32 · 16 answers · asked by Lioness 6 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
It has nothing to do with his sexual orientation or being gay, but the level of putting your guards down because he seems non-threatening, you feel comfortable but at the same time you know, there is no more than friendship. The "girl" part doesn't describe his behavior but you're "comfort level" with him. No need to get defensive.
2007-11-05 01:12:36 · update #1
And whoever said I bash men, I don't. You're clearly barking up the wrong tree.
2007-11-05 01:13:39 · update #2
PortWine: You're right. It's lots of fun to be one of the guys...
2007-11-05 01:29:11 · update #3
Mike T: I think you're right. Attraction produces a challenge and when there is a challenge, there is risk of losing, hence the threatening part.
2007-11-05 02:55:01 · update #4
Good question.
Though most of my gay male friends are in my "girlfriend" category, I do have quite a few straight ones that I consider to be like a "girlfriend" to me too.
When I need advice, I go to these men. When I'm down, need a hug, or just to be held...I go to these men. I feel comfortable with them b/c our relationship(s) is strictly platonic.
At what point do these guys get in this category: Usually after they've been there for me through some rough (and sometimes happy) points in my life. When I know that I can trust them with secrets, that I confide my insecurities in them w/out being made fun, and when we love one another like sister and brother...
2007-11-05 01:44:30 · answer #1 · answered by special s 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Guys call this 'the friend zone.' Guys dread ending up in the friend zone (typically).
This tends to happen when the man drags his feet too long on being up front about his attraction. The woman still feels the affection/titillation, because the man is still treating her in an obligatory fashion, so much so that the woman is no longer waiting for the shoe to drop, and the 'attraction tension' settles into comfort at his treatment.
The player types strive to detect this turning point, and turn on the amore just before it occurs, as that is when the woman's romantic interest is most peaked: the point where she is wondering (for nearly the last time) if he will turn up the pressure (reflecting his desire) for romantic contact. Wait a meeting or two too long, and you are in the friend zone.
Women love the 'game' or contest as much as men do, for different reasons. Men want the sex. Women want the desire, attention, and treatment, as that is how sexual power tends to translate between the genders.
2007-11-05 04:18:02 · answer #2 · answered by eine kleine nukedmusik 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Wife material and every other woman. First impression. Physical appearance and demeanor at first. Later, common interests, objectives in life, as a person etc.. PS: It's not as crass as "bed not wed" though. There are certain qualities that a man looks for in a wife which differs from person to person. Other women can be those attractive ones the men want to bed or those that don't catch their attention.
2016-04-02 05:53:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Back when I was dating, I had guys who were in the "friend" category. I didn't consider it "girlfriend" category because there are still things that aren't shared with a guy, no matter how good of a friend he is. There are some things that no guy could understand and were reserved only for my closest girlfriends. But I digress.
One of the things that will put a guy in the friend category faster than anything is when they have low confidence. It's obvious they are interested in you, and you show interest in return, but they just never step forward to really take a chance on you. They're not simply aloof, they're seriously lacking confidence. If they don't have a high enough opinion of themselves, chances are that attitude will rub off and I'll eventually not have a very high opinion of them either. People can change and gain confidence in themselves but it takes a long time to undo the original impression.
2007-11-05 01:09:04 · answer #4 · answered by Jennifer C 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I like this question. I know I put girls in the "one of the guys" category when I am not sexually attracted to them, but enjoy their company otherwise.
I think for women... it happens when their is a lack of sexual tension. When a woman just can't see herself having sex with the guy for some reason. This reason is usually a lack of sexual tension which is another way of saying a lack of 'danger' or 'challenge'. The relationship is TOO comfortable and the woman feels she has complete control.
When this happens.. no sexy-time for you guy...
EDIT: I agree with Jennifer C
2007-11-05 01:37:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's a lot of fun for an attractive woman to be put in the "one of the boys" category. Guys are usually a lot more fun (less hassle) to be friends with. At least that's what my attractive woman friends say.
2007-11-05 01:27:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If its a guy I'm not sexually interested in, he doesn't have to be gay, just someone I can relate to and he wouldn't feel strange to hang out with me in places that guys normally shy away from and can chat with me about any issue relating to women & women's lifestyle or just listen if he doesn't know about it.
He can get out of that category only if he kisses me & I think its the best damn kiss I ever got!
No way I'd ever think of him as a "girlfriend" after that.
2007-11-05 01:25:14 · answer #7 · answered by silkensilhouette 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that it has anything to do with the passage of time...it has more to do with the character of the guy. There are lots of guys who you will categorize as 'friends', but not 'girlfriends'. So then, I would say that you could put someone in the 'girlfriend' category shortly after meeting them - if they are that kind of guy.
2007-11-05 01:55:38 · answer #8 · answered by Super Ruper 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Level of attraction. There are some women I could never put in the "friend" category, usually as a result of the level of respect I have for some women.
Respect lies on the continuum of love and fear.
A girlfriend is someone who I would call a friend, but love for her (respect plus intrigue), and a litle bit of fear (fear for letting her down) means that she means more to me than just a friend.
2007-11-05 01:02:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
If there is no attraction there but you like his company then they're a friend.As long as he's also not attracted to you.Ithink they should stay in the friend mode cuz usually your first reactions are correct.
2007-11-05 01:05:14 · answer #10 · answered by rachel d 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋